Tenancy/Friendship Woes

[AiryFlyingFairy]

Hello,
My DD started Uni last Sept living in Halls.
Seemed to be going well with the flat mates & they signed up for a shared house together from this September.
It seemed that nearly as soon as the tenancy was signed a couple of the flatmates started treating DD differently eg. Excluding her. Bullying
DD no longer wants to house share with them.
She did try to sort it out with them but it still hasn't been resolved.
She's informed the lettings agency who advised her to advertise her share of the house. She did but hasn't been able to get anyone to take it on.
It's been really upsetting. I can't see that she has much option other than to move in and make the best of it.
She is really anxious about this now & it's getting close to the tenancy Start
Just wondered if any of you have experience of this? Thank you.

She won’t have much option but to move in. Where would she go if she doesn’t? Sharing a house isn’t living in the pockets of others in the house. She can spend time doing other things. Why are they bullying - what’s happened?

How has she been advertising? Could she appeal to transfer-in year-abroad students who would rather not stay in halls with 1st years (or someone who has broken up with boyfriend/girlfriend). Or target those who get clearing places and just want something sorted quickly. My DDs uni runs an online swap board.

We are in Scotland so lucky (28 day notice period in private leases) although finding new place not so easy in some areas.

How many in current flat? Does she got on well with the others. If she has to stay could she work with the others to minimise the impact of the bullies.

Although that depends on the nature of the bullying. I was guilty (as was warden) of telling my DD that she just needed to ignore guy next door in halls and buy ear plugs until she recorded his drunken ranting/door kicking/threats etc. If not safe then uni should be able to advise. Letting agent/landlord might be able to help too.

depending on where she is, she may be able to find someone who needs a place post exam results.
See if you can join WIWIKAU on FB and mention it there.
Is it on spare room? Is she on the local groups on FB for that area?/ for the Uni. Or the WhatsApp groups?
Will she be able to find alternative accommodation if she does manage to find someone?

@SandyIrving that's shocking/Scary. Good thing your DD recorded it.
Sounds like she is doing well :)

Thank you for sharing and the info. Appreciated.

Good ideas. She is on the FB / WhatsApp groups. I'll suggest WIWIKAU too. Thank you.

What about uni accommodation office? They will have clearing of insurance students very soon. What about a friend of the dc she doesn’t like?

@SandyIrving Im glad dd was in a girls block at uni! What a nightmare!

Does her uni have a parents facebook group? I'm on my DDs one and there are lots of rooms being advertised at the moment.

My DD is good now. She enlisted the help of her academic tutor and was immediately moved (to what is considered the best accomodation). He was disciplined.

Speak to the letting agent and the university for advice. We are in a similar situation, relationships have broken down between my son and the people due to move in with in second year, all best if friends when lease signed. They don’t want him there and he doesn’t want to be either due to behaviours and breakdown in friendship. It’s very toxic and there is no way they can live in the same house. The agent/landlord have agreed a period of grace whilst they try and fill the space, if not agent will try fill it, there is another person who wants the room but isn’t in a Position to commit as had signed a lease on a studio, which they are trying to fill. I’m praying an option comes off then we can find an alternative living situation for my son. It’s all going to be very last minute. It’s all very sad and stressful when the friendships break down. Good luck.

Oh no. It is an awful worry. Sounds similar to our situation.
DD gets on with 3 of them but the other 3 (Girls) started treating her badly soon after the tenancy was sorted ! Mentally messing with her head & other nasty treatment (That I can't put on here)
I have said she may well find she has other friends & will be out with them a lot and just do her own thing. She is quite independent & sociable. But this situation has really knocked her confidence as initially she trusted them.

She's thinking she may to just give it a go and see how they get on.
She's advertised her room but no interest to date.
Thanks for sharing. It is a help to know others going through similar.

I had a very similar situation at university with bullying housemates. In the end I moved out, lived at home, and paid my rent whilst advertising my room. At one point my house mates were vetoeing anyone who looked at the room for the stupidest of reasons just to be vindictive. A personal favourite was "we just don't think she's confident enough to live in this flat," (!) for a girl who would have easily fitted in.
What did help though was that the agency who were letting the flat were very sensible and put pressure on the others to agree to someone. I think the woman who ran it had a similarly aged child and saw what was going on and felt sorry for me.
One of the worst afternoons I had during my time at uni was sitting in my room packing up my stuff. My housemates had ignored me since I came in. Their voices floated up the stairs and I realised they were having a celebratory meal that I was leaving, including making toasts. Utter bullies. I still have no idea what I did. My heart goes out to your DD.