Help with the process please, no experience

[Perzival]

Hi, My ds is doing well. He's taking maths, further maths, physics and chemistry with a*'s estimated. He goes to one of the worst state grammars but the best our area can offer.

Myself and dh didn't go down the typical paths with our qualifications. I ended up doing mine later in life via a college and he did his through work. So we have no experience an nobody in the wider family with experience either.

Ds wants to take physics and we've paid for a pat tutor every other week (all we can afford but will inc over Summer).

He wants to apply to Oxford, Durham and Warwick. We have no clue and school aren't really guiding us.

He applied for widening participation as our younger ds has very complex needs and he's classed as a young carer. We earn ok and live in a nice part of one of the poorest towns in England. He didn't get on any courses but is in a waiting list for one at Durham so fingers crossed.

We've booked the open days at Durham and Warwick and his school have organised a trip to Oxford.

What should myself and dh be doing please? Have we missed anything, is there anything we can do to help please?

Any advice would ve much appreciated as we font want to let him down and aren't too sure about what we should be doing.

@Perzival your school should be allocated a mentor college from Oxbridge. If you'd like to PM the name of the school I can see if I can find out which college your school has. They offer support and guidance (& visits) to help students from less advantaged schools. And in my experience are amazing humans.

@mumsneedwine thank you, that's very kind of you. Would it not be a bit too pushy for us to contact them please? Is there a risk of it going against my don if we contact them please?

Popping back to say no risk, OP. The outreach, including offers such as Mentor Colleges, is sincere and helps. Just as it does when the referee mentions challenging circumstances on their letter.

Admissions tutors have the goal of putting together the strongest possible entering cohort we can get. Recognising that applicants don’t come to the process on a level playing field, it is in everyone’s interests to ensure that students from less well connected schools acquire the same information and access that has been ‘bred into the bones’ of others, sometimes for centuries.

Please take @mumsneedwine up on her kind offer!

PS I am not at Oxbridge myself. @mumsneedwine can tell you whether you, DS or his school should initiate contact with the Mentor College

We were the same (neither DH or myself went to Uni). We took our son to local Uni open days a year early, not because he had any intention of going to them, but to get a "feel" for how they work, sat through various talks on accommodation, funding, course choices, etc., which really gave all three of us a much better understanding of how it all works.

Then when we finally started going to Unis that DS was serious about, we could hit the ground running as we already had a lot of generic background knowledge, so could jump straight in to talk to subject staff, admissions tutors, etc.

Could the OP go to some local ones before they go to Durham etc to get the lay of the land so that the visit to Durham isn't quite so rushed, as you simply can't do everything you need in just one day.

Thanks you all again for your help. It is very kind of you and I'm really grateful.

We've booked for Durham next weekend and Warwick the weekend after. Ds visited Oxford with school this week.

Op you are doing great in supporting your son
Please don't worry
Important to look at the deadlines eg october for oxford or Cambridge
Reach out to Sutton trust give them a call
And once he decides on Cambridge or Oxford reach out to their widening participation office

Just out for a v long dog walk on the beach but I'll get back to you all asap.

OP - I know your DS has had a school trip to Oxford, but there are also official open days on 26th and 27th June and 20th September. The colleges and departments will all be open and have lots of events and Q&As for prospective applicants: https://www.physics.ox.ac.uk/study/undergraduates/how-apply/open-days

The link college will be according to region - you can find out here: https://www.ox.ac.uk/oxfordforUK

If DS’s school contacts the link college they may be able to provide some support or an admissions Q&A.

I work with the link college for my institution and they are helpful. You can check here for which college

https://www.ox.ac.uk/oxfordforUK

My main advice.... Unless money is no object, look at the cost of accommodation very carefully. It was a massive shock to us that it varies so much. Even really basic non ensuite uni halls in first year vary a lot between unis for no clear reason. Look at the maintenance loan he'll get and how much top up he'll need or if he'll need a part time job.

As a rough guide the midland/northern cities (Manchester Sheffield Birmingham) oh and Cardiff were very good value. Not Liverpool though.

Added to this, even if you put the cheapest place as first choice there is no guarantee he'll get it and he might be allocated somewhere luxurious.

If he's got a tutor for the PAT and goes to a grammar school.he'll already have a big advantage compared to most state pupils so I wouldn't worry too much. If he got all A☆at gcse he's almost guaranteed an interview at least with those estimatec grades for Oxford .

Thank you for this.

We live in an area which would come under one college but the school is under a different college as he attends a school out of area. Would we contact the school or home area college please? Does it matter?

This is good advice, but readers should also know that for a combination of reasons Oxford and Cambridge are surprisingly affordable - short terms, rich universities and colleges that offer lots of financial aid, etc

Not that I am vouching for other specific universities

The school one.

Check if the school has formed links with them too.

Thank you very much.

Posters with stronger links to Oxbridge will hopefully have insider info

Hi, OP -

We haven’t mentioned that the PAT has a very different feel to it as compared with Physics A Level.

I am not at all saying this applies to your DS, but many gifted pupils don’t realise how different it is and that they need to prepare. You can bet good ££££ that the top independent schools give endless mocks and coaching sessions. To level that playing field, other pupils need to create or seek out opportunities for themselves.

DS should search for ‘PAT support’ and see what appeals. He can also start by finding out whether his school has resources

PS Depending upon where he wishes to apply, of course. He should be in control.

Summer is the ideal time to practise for any university entrance exams he will need

Thanks to @RedHelenB for bringing the PAT up

Thank you again.

Have a look at Zero Gravity. My DD signed up for this and it was really helpful. She wanted to apply to Oxford for Chemistry and was allocated a mentor who was in her final year there. I think they had a zoom call once a week or so for about an hour. They did lots of practice talking through interview type questions which was invaluable. The actual interviews were only about the subject - it was literally ‘Hello - let’s do some Chemistry…’

Thank you

Seems like all sorted 😊