Do you ever wonder how different your life would have been if you went to a different university?

[tarnishedmetal]

I often think about how your university choice has a huge impact on your life trajectory.

I went to Oxford as a swotty comp girl. Didn’t have the most amazing time but it has shaped who I am. I wouldn’t have had the career I have now if I’d taken the Bristol offer.

But if I had taken the Bristol offer, I might be living in Bristol today? I would definitely have been a lot “edgier” and normal! Maybe that would have been a better choice.

I am so glad I didn’t take one of my other offers, even if it is a terrific uni.

@FeistyFrankie I see what you mean by shaping you, I don't think the OP would some how have become an edgier, vegan environmentalist if she went to Bristol (although you may be those things OP lol) I remember really hoping my personality would change when I went to uni 😂 I still ended up the quiet, studious girl who hated clubbing despite trying so hard to be one of the gang. But it very likely would lead to a very different life, when I think of the life changing opportunities I've had in life that have been the result of freakish flukes like checking a random job site one day, or bumping into someone on a day I wasn't meant to be there, going to a completely different university must lead to some different paths and opportunities.

The one that gets me is if you'd had sex at a different time you'd get a completely different baby, that one blows my mind!

I am very content. I didn't get offers from Bristol or Durham for law (and my school seriously under predicted by A levels) but I ended up sitting 3 x 32 hours of exams for an entrance scholarship to my university, came top of year 1 so won another scholarship and top of 2 subjects in year 3. I don't think I would have been top like that elsewhere and Manchester was great - we had lectures from people like our first lady Supreme Court judge - Lady Hale and the author of the tort text book taught me - Street on Torts - Harry Street. It was a really good group of lecturers that set me up for life with a lovely career in London. I met my husband during my law post grad year elsewhere so that life changing thing that led to all our lovely children and grandchildren was not related to my university.

I wonder this probably slightly too often. I took a 4yr course at Southampton rather than a 3yr equivalent at Sheffield as I wanted the longer holidays. I never really settled in Southampton and returned home straight after finishing. I do wonder if Sheffield would have suited me more

Yes! I absolutely loved the University of York when I visited it, but then I got a EE offer for Oxford, which I didn't think I could turn down.

I did well at Oxford, but I felt very out of place amongst my peers and was too scared to make the most of many opportunities. I often think I would have been happier if I'd gone to York.

Yesterday, my DD chose the University of York as her firm choice on UCAS. 😀

There's a hell of a lot of Oxbridge on here. I didn't think OP was intending the question to encourage stealth boasts.

If I got into Oxbridge I reckon I'd bring it up every other sentence 🤷‍♀️ feels like the kind of accomplishment you should be able to ride on for the rest of your life!

They usually do I find.

Not so much the choice of uni but I had a sliding doors moment whilst there which almost certainly shaped my entire career. Very grateful for the actions of my personal tutor that day.

In my case , what my life would have been if I had gone to university anywhere. I went straight into a job after A levels as I couldn't bear the thought of living away from home. andI didn't get the grades.

I met DH at uni, he died when I was expecting my second baby.

So yes, different uni would have meant different husband and possibly the absence of massive trauma.

My career would have been less good, I went to an excellent uni that trained me well.

Wouldn't change it though, I had 14 years of DH and now my two wonderful girls. And we're doing well, 10 years later.

Same here @MrsMoastyToasty
I imagine my life would have been very different.

Aw what a pair of sh!ts!
Am glad you are back on your feet and are fully independent. Go you!! 💕😘💕

Surely everyone has hundreds of sliding doors moments? I wouldn't say where I went to uni was bigger than all the others.

I was thinking this, too.
I don't think where I did my degree is particularly important in terms of how my life turned out.

But yes, I do think "What if I hadn't........" sometimes, about situations where - as may have used the example - I first met dh, or other really big life events.

It's something I think about a lot. I had a choice of 2 similar unis in different cities. I didn't know about league tables then so chose the prettier one over the slightly better one.

Uni was great but some awful things happened there that have caused lifelong PTSD

Everything in my life would have been different had I picked the other one. Relationships, kids, career, home, friends, money, everything.

I do wish I'd gone to a different university and studied something different. Definitely, yes. I made the wrong choice of both and didn't have the happiest of times there.

However, I guess things happen for a reason. I had a boyfriend at university, who after we graduated ended up introducing me to the man who has now been my wonderful DH of 34 years we won't go into the very messy breakup

Didn’t get into Cambridge, ended up at Sussex. Fucking hated it. Only in vague contact with one person from those years. But for various reasons I would probably have been miserable anywhere! My choices post-uni have probably shaped outcomes more than uni itself.

I definitely think a less pressured academic university would have been best for me.
One of my school friends went to a Poly (that ages me!)
She went on to do a Masters at Edinburgh University and is now highly regarded in her field.

I have not done anything in the field we both took.

Probably wouldn't have met DH. I went to a great university in one of the nicest and most expensive cities in the UK. It was a lovely 4 years living there but I couldn't afford to live there after graduation and nor could anyone else. I think that meant that we all had to move away after and so not many friendships survived after university. I think if I had been able to stay in the city where I studied it would have been better for my career but if I'd studied in my home town I'd have had to have lived at home and being away was good for me.

I don't know if one would have been better than the other. It would be interesting to see how other options would have worked out.

For some balance I went to a not great ex poly to do law in a cool city. I was a total geek in primary school but when I started (a slightly rough) high school I got called "boff" and teased for being clever as this wasn't cool. Essentially I then dossed around in secondary school, just wanted to hang out with my mates and be cool, even though I was very clever, and then went on to a "coasting" school. I did okish in my A levels with minimal work.

I then got a first class degree in law and finished top in my year at the ex poly and have ended up as a lawyer. I often lament my choices at the time, to the point I sometimes dream about it. I know I could have gone to an excellent Uni - even Oxbridge - not just due to my law degree result but because I have scored extremely high grades in my subsequent various professional studies, both here and abroad, against other lawyers from top Unis.

I also never grasped the snobbery that goes with which Uni you choose in the UK particularly, and how it can affect your trajectory.

I am happy though and have a beautiful family and a good career.

Occasionally crosses my mind.

A level year I really wanted Warwick, but was rejected. I had a place at Cambridge but I knew I wasn't a Cambridge girl, so I declined that offer.

Decided to take a gap year working. Reapplied to Warwick and got in.

That gap year meant I met my now X husband the first day. That led to my two wonderful children. It meant the church I was to become a founding member of had an embryo, where it hadn't the previous year. It meant my best friend was two doors down on my corridor.

I occasionally wonder what would have happened if I had taken that Cambridge place.

Funnily enough I don't think things would have changed too much for me. I would've ended up living in the same area of London no matter which Uni I went to. Therefore likely to have followed a similar path, having met similar people along the way.
I do think I'd have been a lot happier in another university though. Those 3 years were the unhappiest of my life, sadly. Not completely down to the uni in question but a combination of being surrounded by people who in all honesty weren't best suited to me (even though I made a handful of friends) and big stresses at home which meant I was always travelling back and forth.
I'm very happy these days with a beautiful family, good friends and a fun career, but I do look back at those years with sadness. If I had my time again, I would've had the courage to admit in my first year that I'd made a mistake and taken a gap year and applied for the following year. I was always taught not to complain and not to "give up"/ I didn't have the confidence to say "this hasn't worked".

I didn’t go to uni. I worked and bought a house at 19.

Maybe if my ADHD had been spotted and supported as a teenager I would have gone. Life would certainly have been very different (and I wouldn’t be finally getting my degree with the OU at nearly 50). On the upside I’m mortgage free and have professional quals coming out of my ears.

@aldpiahvge Believe me. People do. Do people you have met for 20 minutes really care? Recently we went on a holiday where around 90 of us were on a small ship. We often changed tables for dinner - most did. Within 20 minutes of chatting to some people they mentioned they had been to Oxbridge. No one else mentioned a university at all as none of us were under 60. We really do have more to talk about.

I didn't get in to my preferred uni, and I applied twice. I can't remember what course I applied for. I got in to another as a late applicant but at 17 I was really too young. I shared a room (this is US so very normal) and we only got on ok. But hated my course. Only made one friend. I left after a year.
I eventually went to art school in NY, one of the best on the country (not that I felt I had a great education). Ended up at their Paris campus and finally met my tribe there, then moved here to England.
So no idea if the first uni would have worked out as it was most likely the science based degree I pursued at the one I did get in to. More relevant is I totally wish I had done a different degree. I didn't know you could do textiles or theatre design, and maybe I wasn't even aware of my interest in it. But if I knew then what I know now that's what I would have majored in (I did graphic design and ended up in publishing). I do some textile designing now, but in my 60s not looking to start over at the bottom.

I do wonder, but not for long - I might well have trodden a different path, but I've been happy with the way it worked out. However with DD deciding between the same unis for the same course, it did have me wondering which might work out best for her.