Tutors at university

[ByeAgain]

My son is in his first year studying a science subject at Oxbridge. Struggling and feeling stupid which I know is kind of par for the course. Has friends and is overall happy. But when revising at home he gets very upset and frustrated when he doesn’t understand stuff. Won’t ask his peers or supervisors for help.

Are there tutors who can support with academic work at this level? I am more familiar with tutors at secondary school so would value any advice as to how to start looking for someone.

Thanks.

sendsummer surely that's counter productive at an exam heavy university such as Oxford? Wouldn't those same students be far more likely to come a cropper in their exams if they haven't written the essays themselves?

One of my DSs has done occasional online tutoring and he’s worked with Oxbridge undergraduates in humanities. It seemed to be a question of them being overwhelmed by the workload and wanting someone to take them through specific new topics so they understood them properly.

@Karolinska I mostly agree. I am in STEM; the DS is doing science. Partly I was finding something for OP to say to her DS

Sometimes students choose STEM disciplines partly because they have always found the relevant fields of study easy. Then they are thrown to learn that it is supposed to be difficult. I wonder if this ease is less of a consideration for budding humanists, social scientists, medics, etc.

I also think the starker nature of STEM, where nature and objectivity are the ultimate arbiters, may seem harsher to some than fields where the quality of human reasoning and/or expression are paramount. One feels less control, because one has less control.

I realise you probably can’t be eg a good Oxbridge UG historian unless you can get comfortable with having your essays ripped to shreds by your tutor and learning from that. But you can maintain in a corner of your being that your tutor’s opinions are wrong. You can’t do that in science or maths

TL;DR I agree with your main point. I think STEM subjects can feel especially especially harsh, partly because some choose them with particularly unrealistic expectations

Yes I see what you're saying poetryandwine.

There are two ways of 'using tutors'.

One (which is what the OP's son wants to do) is hiring someone to give you extra academic support. There's nothing wrong or immoral about this, but it's a waste of money ESPECIALLY since he's at Oxbridge where one of the main advantages is the whole system is geared up for loads of extra tailored student support. I've taught in Oxford - if a student came to me and said they were struggling, I wouldn't think twice about scheduling some extra 1:1 sessions for them, and if I didn't have capacity myself I'd find a graduate student I considered to be really strong and to know that topic well. Doing something like that is just part of the culture (you know your students well, you see them individually or in very small groups each week, it's a point of pride that the resources they need are made available to them) Paying a random person you find via an agency or on the internet is unlikely to go as well. The main obstacle is OP's son's anxiety and pride, because he's got the idea that his tutors will judge him if he asks for help.

Other people on the thread are talking about 'tutors' in the sense of getting people to write essays or at least drafts of essays for them - which sounds like the dodgy essay mills that have been around for about a decade. That is obviously cheating and could lead to serious academic penalties - in fact it is now a criminal offence to use or offer these services. But more practically, the quality of these essays is often very low (not surprising: there's no quality control because the whole setup is dodgy, so how can you guarantee the credentials of the person you're paying?) Tbh they will probably be put out of the market by ChatGPT, which also produces low-grade essays but does it for free.

I do hope your DS can be persuaded to talk to his tutor and take advantage of all the advice and support on offer. Tutors want their students to do well - not least because, in some cases, they have interviewed and chosen the student and remain invested in their progress.

DD’s Oxford tutor (STEM) was like a mother hen towards his handful of first year undergrads, steering them through their first collections right through to finals. He sat amongst his charges at lunch on graduation day and was so obviously proud of them all.

Asking for guidance and clarification now with one or more of his tutors might enable your DS to get so much more out of his Oxbridge.

Yes it would be a huge waste of money for Oxbridge students to pay an essay mill to write their weekly tutorial essays, which are not assessed and don't go on their record anywhere. As you say, the main purpose of writing the essay is for them to work through the topic and come to an understanding of it, and if they haven't done it themselves they're unlikely to do well in the exam.

Also, they have to sit through a tutorial where they have to spend an hour defending their essay and explaining why they wrote what they did. It would become painfully obvious if they didn't write the essay in the first place.

Some of the essay mills have historically tried recruiting Oxbridge undergraduates to be their ghostwriters, however (when they say 'our essays are written by Oxbridge academics, this is often what they really mean'). I was aware of a case, several years ago, where a student got in a lot of trouble for doing that (I think he may have been expelled). But of course, leaving aside the ethics, it also goes back to the issue of guaranteeing an essay's quality: would you trust an undergraduate with no experience of marking to know how to write a high 2:1 or first class essay to order and to be able to distinguish between the two? And if you pay for a first class essay, and get a 2:2 mark in it, you can hardly complain to the complany, because you'll have had to sign a disclaimer saying that you're only buying the essay for private purposes and you don't intend to pass it off as yours.

The tutor my son’s friend is using is an Oxford tutor (possibly a postgraduate, I’m not sure) so he’s not using a dodgy essay mill. The student is writing his own essays then he is working through them with the paid tutor online - the tutor is advising him on content and structure etc. The student is then submitting these essays to be marked by his RG University as if they are all his own work. These essays count towards his degree. The tutor from Oxford is apparently fully aware that this is what is happening, knows it is unethical and does it anyway because he needs the money.

Sometimes students choose STEM disciplines partly because they have always found the relevant fields of study easy. Then they are thrown to learn that it is supposed to be difficult. I wonder if this ease is less of a consideration for budding humanists, social scientists, medics, etc.

I see this with medics, certainly. The school/exam system leads them to think every science question has a single correct answer. Then, when they have to deal with uncertainty - either that there are conflicting theories or that the current understanding of the science doesn't fit with clinical practice - they become very anxious about what "facts" they are supposed to learn. I think students who have done at least one non-science* A-Level tend to cope a bit better.

*My definition of "science" here is physics/chemistry/biology/anything mathematical. Students who've done psychology are usually better equipped. And we're seeing biology/chemistry/psychology fairly rapidly replacing biology/chemistry/maths as the most common combination of A-Levels for medicine applicants.

Fascinating,@NoNotHimTheOtherOne

Only the person he reaches out to will know he is struggling. Not his peers will really know.
I have had many students approach over the years because they were struggling. Taking the time to go over whatever they were struggling with always helped them. They all managed to pass.
Your son needs to remember that he was accepted at Oxford for a reason! He has the potential to do well.

That would contravene plagiarism/academic integrity policy at my institution for the undergraduate, and, assuming the Oxford student’s name is known to his ‘client’, he should be careful. If he plans an academic career, having been involved in something that contravenes academic integrity policy is not a good look.

Humanities students aren't exempt from the belief that everything has a 'right' answer. Not so much that there is one single answer, but that there is a right way of answering, and if you tick all those boxes you are guaranteed a certain outcome. The school system trains them to think there is a 'correct' way to write an essay and a formula that will guarantee them getting a certain grade. The ones who do well at school and so are getting places at elite universities have nailed that system and know exactly what the right hoops are to jump through to guarantee a great answer. When they come to university they sometimes find it very troubling that it doesn't work that way any more.

On a similar note, sometimes when they are set a reading list where there are diverging/contradictory opinions among scholars, they find that uncomfortable and want me to tell them which is the 'correct' view.

Interesting. I assumed humanists would be more comfortable with ambiguity. Perhaps they are all just growing up

Tbh, when I've spoken to tutors about their courses they are happy to talk and talk and talk! It's their subject, they usually love if and it's their life's work!

I was really intimidated by my tutors are first as a mature student at 30! They are all so knowledgeable and intelligent and have amazing memories hahaha, I soon realised that they are just people who want to talk about their subject 😆

Tell him to email in the first instance, that may make it easier for him.

Hopefully it is not something that happens too often - I was staggered when my son told me about it because I had never heard of students using paid tutors in this way.

On a similar note, sometimes when they are set a reading list where there are diverging/contradictory opinions among scholars, they find that uncomfortable and want me to tell them which is the 'correct' view.

My A Level history teacher, many years ago, taught us that there are different opinions in historical scholarship, and that opinions change over time. He was willing to accept a controversial opinion in an essay, as long as you supplied evidence to back it up. If you didn't, you got 'Evidence???' in red pen in the margin.

Yes the Oxford “tutor” should be careful. I’m pretty sure that some time ago the university changed the wording of its plagiarism policy so that disciplinary action can be taken in cases like this.

@Karolinska these tutors are being used as a prop to help them perform better including in exams. Now as said by PPs, that type of help may already be readily available within the system, accessed through the university tutors/ supervisors. The question then comes up why is it wrong for parents to step in and provide the same sort of the help? IMO it is counteractive to the process of learning which includes the individual properly engaging with trying to process a problem on their own and to find their own ways of surmounting their difficulties through the university and their peers. Just as they will have to do in a place of work.

It's really important to emphasise that learning involves a degree of discomfort since you're right on the edge of what you know and requiring your brain to know and understand more. Normalising this feeling is really helpful.

It's a difficult step maturity-wise to begin to 'own' where you actually are in education. You mention he has form for underestimating his ability - why is this? As a parent, you could be a great help in unpicking any perfectionism or fear of failure. There are some great resources out there such as the book 'When perfect isn't good enough'. Another thing to think about is imposter syndrome - there are loads of TED talks about this you could watch together.

Just a note that many students realise they are neurodiverse at uni - not suggesting this for your DC but something to keep an eye on if his distress is much larger than eg perfectionism that I've mentioned above.

I had a ds who would not ask for help and ended up leaving that uni.

Next time he needed help at a new uni - he asked for it and graduated with a good degree and is now doing a pot grad qualification at university.

I empathize with your frustration. They can become paralyzed by fear of judgment. Maddening for a parent. But if you intervene behind their back you lose their trust.

Have a ds and I didn't mean a "pot" graduate qualification 🤦‍♀️

https://www.ox.ac.uk/students/welfare/counselling/self-help/podcasts

As a parent, take a look at these and see if there is anything you think may help your DS.