Son struggling with uni choices

[rosettegarden]

So my son has had to recently choose subjects for his University application, and has 4 offers so far for aerospace engineering, however he is not sure that the subject that he chose is for him. He has struggled with this decision a lot over the past months and I can see that he is always thinking about it, researching it to no end and has trouble sleeping.

He tells me that he is struggling between many different subjects like physics, aerospace engineering, electrical engineering and computer science. I think he likes everything but is leaning towards physics as he wants to do research but is concerned (as am I) about the employability and usefulness of this degree. I don't really know what to do as this decision is affecting him negatively and he is always stressing and anxious when I see him, and is getting more stressed as he believes that the longer he waits the less chance of switching subjects at somewhere like Imperial where he got accepted, even though I keep trying to reassure him that he can still change at University I don't know much about this.

Him being a top student with consistent 9's and A*'s it is hard for me to see him in such a state. Would appreciate any advice :)

Can he approach the universities and ask if he can visit/sit in on a lecture/practical etc? I work for a uni and we sometimes do this for prospective students who aren’t quite sure.

The teaching and admissions teams are always happy to have a chat to explain the course, options, subjects, job prospects etc

Most universities would want a student to study something they want to study so it is not uncommon for students to switch degree courses at the end of the first year particularly between similar subjects/the same department - many degrees have common or at least similar first year modules which help to facilitate this.

It is much easier to do this if you made the grades or got better grades than that course asks for. If moving between departments, both departments have to agree to release/accept the student.

He shouldn't let this stress him out - he can't be forced to continue studying a degree he realises isn't for him. It happens a lot, particularly for subjects students can't study at A level.

He needs to do something he’s interested in, tell him not to look too far forward.
If he’s leaving home then the social aspect, and safety in the town/city/campus is important too.

Unless he's doing Maths, why not take a year out? It's fine for them not to be sure what they want at that age. They are put under such pressure to know. But why not take a year, get a job, learn to drive if he hasn't already, do some travelling, maybe try and get some internships or even just shadowing some people in industries he thinks might suit him. And maybe visit some friends at uni if they end up in any of the places he liked the sound of, to see if he enjoys the environment - campus, big city, small city, modern, ancient, hard work ethic, relaxed work ethic, year abroad/industry year etc. He might come out with a clearer idea of what he'd enjoy.

Hi @rosettegarden I am a research engineer and have worked across multiple sectors and multiple technology themes.

Choosing Aero won't prevent him from undertaking research. There are specifics to engineering degrees but most contain (with exception of CS) a high amount of common topics - I can happily talk fluid dynamics to an aero specialist, or bending moments to just about any other engineer. But, any engineering degree will be heavy on the maths.

Thank you for your advice, he has mentioned taking a gap year but I'm a bit worried he might be lonely without any of his friends at school and be behind everyone who is already at University. Is this something to be worried about?

Yes agree with @Nestofwalnuts there is too much peer and school pressure to go straight to university but there is no rush and not everyone is ready to go. It's not a race. Nothing wrong with him taking a step back and taking more time to decide

DS took a year out - his friends mostly scattered anyway so they meet up over the holidays.

Nothing to worry about OP - he will find when he does go that there are people of all ages studying at university not just school leavers.

@rosettegarden actually aero along with energy and defense probably invest more in research than any other sectors.

The big tech themes are, digital inc AI, sustainability inc renewables, health, applied materials, manufacturing inc robotics.

pm me if you'd like some links.

If he uas offers are there upcoming offer holder days with sample lectures, tours etc.

Yes good point! There will be fewer students at these and it's an excellent opportunity to talk to departmental staff and probably current students about the course content and options etc.

Nothing wrong either with emailing the admissions tutor/the departments learning and teaching team to see if he could speak to an existing student or staff member about the course.

What does he envision doing beyond university. Engineering degrees are highly sought after and there are many great graduate opportunities for engineers, some also take physics students but far from all as dsd has discovered.

I'm a bit bias as my dc is an engineer - I can't speak for aero but electrical engineering and computer science overlap a lot and physics a fair amount

I agree that @LIZS ’s point about offer days is excellent and the way forward. He should go to them, and take in and ask for as much course & subject info as he can.

After then he will be in a much more informed decision but can still decide to defer if he’s not sure or wants to anyway.

In what ways do you worry he’ll be behind people already at university @rosettegarden ? Many people will take a year out.

Hi, OP

Congratulations to your DS on his offer from Imperial - in Aero, I presume. This is a young man of great potential and I am sorry he is suffering. Something will work out, but it may take a year.

First, in theory I agree there is much to be said for a gap year, particularly as DS himself has broached the subject. However I am a former admissions tutor in an excellent Russell Group STEM School and sadly I must inform you that many of my colleagues and several Schools at Imperial in particular refuse to offer deferrals. The concern is that students will lose their Maths. (I disagree, at least for very strong students, but the belief persists). One can reapply but must then compete all over again (and show the Maths is being maintained).

So if DS is thinking about a gap year he will need to find a STEM degree programme willing to consider him afterwards. It will be feasible but it may take a bit of searching.

Also, universities do want their students to be happy and therefore to be in a programme that is a good fit, but Imperial is extraordinarily competitive, and if a programme is full a student cannot necesssarily expect to move onto it after arrival. I would not count on being able to transfer onto anything in the School of Computer Science, for example. Physics? Not prepared to bet.

All STEM subjects are full of great research topics. Engineering is much better funded than science in the UK and looks to be for some time. Physics is a wonderful subject and I would never discourage anyone from studying it, but making a career as a Physics researcher is a hard road for young people, especially since Brexit. The only reason to do it is if you love it.

There are many good suggestions above for helping DS in the short term. If he isn’t clear about what he wants I would support the idea of the gap year, as it is better than going to uni without a strong sense of enthusiasm. He can make it work. Many, many students benefit from growing up during that year.

It's worth discussing with him how he'll feel if his friends are at uni and he's home as you're right, it could be an issue but doesn't have to be. TBH they all start making new friends once they leave school, whether at uni or at work.

He would need a plan to give the year some structure - a few big goals and key dates in the year to work towards - work, internships, travel - working abroad and some fun travel. He could meet up with school mates to travel in the summer, and also visit them in their uni towns for a weekend, if he got bored.

Your DS doesn't have to literally defer as in using the term to mean asking a university for a deferral. He could also withdraw his application and reapply next year grades in hand, which would be the way forward if he decides that he definitely doesn't want to do the courses he put on his UCAS form i.e aerospace engineering.

Another suggestion - and it's a fairly obvious one so he may have already done this - is to look on the website The Student Room and post asking current or graduated people on the course questions.