dropping out and re applying to a new uni

[onestop15]

Hello, my son 18 has done his first semester and came back at Christmas, he's in his first week of second semester however things still are not clicking- from the start it has been a struggle, his flat is not great as people tend to sit in their rooms and he says he rarely sees anyone, there is no society for his athletics and training which is something he enjoys and thought uni could help him take it on a level. He also struggles as many students are older or commute in so he may see them in seminars but that is it as they then go home- the flatmates he does see are twins and go home every weekend so that is not ideal. In terms of the course he likes it mostly and knows there is a good career for him in it even though he failed an exam by 2 marks he feels if he was happier and more settled then he would have passed easily. Overall it hasn't gone too well and his mental health is declining as well as his passion and motivation for anything. He also thinks it will be hard to find housemates due to lack of good connections to people and not wanting to commit due to feel like he should leave.
If he was to leave he wants to apply again for next year at a different uni on the same course, he has BBB (120 points) which was not helped by last years stupid grade boundaries- this may be okay but most want ABB (128) minimum so its a big risk.
Any help and advice appreciated

Sorry to hear he feels like this.

And apologies, because this is pointing out the stable door is open after the horse has bolted, but did he not check if there was a society for his athletics before applying? That's the sort of thing that can make a difference between choosing Uni A or Uni B provided the course is similar.

I imagine that applying grades in hand of BBB to universities that want ABB is going to result in rejections, it's not the same of someone being made an offer than missing a grade. Did his current uni give him a higher offer but take him anyway?

So I suggest he look online at the universities that offer BBB, look at the course outline, and then look at whether they offer the right society, and what the housing is like - do students there tend to leave at the weekends?

Also look atwhere those courses are ranking in the CUG or similar. If his is ranked higher for the course than the BBB ones and that is something which may influence job prospects, then that is something to consider and weight up. Fact is, he is enjoying the course, which is something, and it might be that he doesn't enjoy it as much elsewhere.

He should go to the uni counselling or therapy services to get help for his mental health now.

Ultimately his MH and being happy has to come first, but I do wonder if your son has a case of 'the grass is greener', and whether it really would be. It does sound in all honesty that he didn't pick wisely. But it's early days! The first term can be tough, everything is new. He needs to look at other societies and understand it can take time to make friends, even at a place where you're surrounded by people.

Sounds v hard from parent of uni aged child..can he give it another couple of weeks and join some more clubs to see if he can meet people? the flat situation isn’t great but tolerable if he could make friends outside the flat?

Athletics seemed to be good but was not in the end, there's many sprinters but no endurance squad;
he needed ABB but got in with BBB

He's tried to find people but says it doesn't seem likely, the societies here do not interest him much and are not his hobbies, could give it a couple weeks but tuition and accommodation fees are due and due to his lack of happiness he has little desire to work as feels its time

My son did it, didn’t jell with Lancaster loving it at Leeds . It think you will have to pay full year if don’t pull out in first semester

Talk to the Uni and see if he can transfer to another Uni, they might be able to facilitate this and he might not lose a year if he passes his first year exams. Could he come home for weekends to get out of the accommodation for a break, or carry on working on his course from home at least part time? There should be people you can talk to that can help sort things out.

Have him write other uni and ask if he can apply with Advanced Prior Learning. He may be able to transfer some credits.

Briefly, has he thought about joining a local running club, rather than just looking at the uni one? Has he looked into moving flats? Does he have somewhere else in mind? Has he looked at their accommodation and societies? Has he applied elsewhere - the deadline is the end of this month so he'll need to be quick.

yes he has a good idea of other unis and thinks it will be good for him

It sounds like he should move then OP given he’s so keen.

Does he have an idea of what he’ll do if he has to take the rest of the year off? Presumably he’ll get a job?

PPs suggestion to see if he can transfer credits is a good one. Is he up for doing this?

He should try to transfer straight into second year at another uni (providing he can pass the exams at the one he's at). I know he's miserable, but he's more likely to get in that way (they won't care about the BBB with a first year pass) and he might feel better knowing that he's taken this positive step. If it is a competitive course, they are less likely to accept someone who has dropped out and more likely to accept a transfer in my experience.

I think if he strongly feels he would be happier somewhere else it would certainly be worth looking into moving to a different uni. However wherever he goes it will be a lottery in his hall flat and he might not like the people any more than the current lot. there is also a chance of people going home at weekends in most places I'd have thought. Maybe going somewhere with an athletics club would be the one guaranteed improvement on this year. If he reapplies I'd encourage him to apply to a mix of BBB and ABB places as the odd one might give a BBB offer if he already has his grades. maybe if you mention which unis he is interested in people would be able to give a view on whether the campus is likely to have things going on at weekends or not.

My son did not like his first Uni and started all over again this year. I suppose it's important to be happy but it's another year of debt and contributions from us.

Although Ds liked his course his first year flat was very divided in terms of a hell of a mix of people. When I went to uni there was no entertainment in your room, you had to physically attend lectures, study in the library, typing up work in the computer lab, meeting up with people was easier because you saw more people out and about. I am introvert and this really helped me socialise.

Today they have online lectures, they have laptops and internet connection for doing work and sourcing information. They have Netflix, gaming consoles, Youtube etc. It seems easier for introverts and anyone else to just stay inside their rooms. It could well be that he feels the same at another university. Or he hates the people on the athletics team.

Re the flat, is it university accommodation? Has he looked into moving or swapping? Seen the accommodation officer over it? As for second year accommodation are there private halls he could go into as a single? Lots of people end up with a single room to fill too.

Have you personally looked at all the clubs and societies that the uni offers? I think uni is sold as this amazing time where you meet friends for life and have the best time and for a lot of students this isn't the case, it is just okay and learning to just get on with things can be a good thing.

In all honesty he actually hasn't got long to go to complete first year, they have this semester, a teeny bit of the next one, exams and then home. Ds finished 4 weeks before the end of term in first year.

The biggest and most important thing in all of this is his grades. Even with entry grades in hand it is no guarantee he would get accepted onto a course. It is the minimum they will accept applicants in on and in your son's case he was lucky to be accepted with a grade drop.

Have you both looked at the unis with BBB entry grades for his course and would he want to apply to any of them? What is his plan B if he drops out this year and fails to get accepted in another uni? A lot of unis do hold out to see if those with higher predicted grades apply, ie 3 A stars across the board. At least one uni openly admits their entry grade is AAA but they tier their offers; their first offers go to 3 A stars or above, 2 A stars A, 1 A star AA, then AAA sometimes all the places have gone before they get to AAA.

He could be the drive behind setting up an endurance squad? Generally student unions are supportive of new activities. Or agree with a PP he could join the local town club. My son did this when he was not selected for the university team in his sport. Proved to be a fab decision. Very welcoming and they performed better than the uni team in the same division!

I agree with the idea of setting up his own type of running group. Would be far less effort than re applying and moving cities. He prob only needs 4-5 mates and will feel very different about the place

This. I work at a university and used to do admissions for my department.

I did this many years ago. No regrets at all. I quit about half a term in. I then worked in a shop and saved some money which I used to go travelling. It was good for me tbh.

This happens all the time

Lots of students transfer courses at uni freeing up spaces as well

He might even be able to transfer to another uni even at this stage if it's the exact same course

Other students will be leaving and vacating a room in halls so its worth trying

Just phone around admissions for him at every uni that does his course with his A Level results

My DS wants to take up an offer at a uni that I think he will end up being completely miserable at. So I'll probably be going though this next year

He should try to apply to UWE or UEA the latter should be easier to get a space and the former he will definitely have fun at

If he's going slightly higher tier then fingers crossed for places like York, Bath, Bristol, Leeds etc

Fingers crossed he can easily transfer

He'll have more fun at more campus based uni's or further away ones like Cardiff or Aberystwyth

Ones that maybe haven't been on his radar can end up being the perfect brilliant place for him

We can probably help more if you're brave enough to name where he currently is and where he's thinking of transferring to

No point transferring somewhere we might know is equally dry and bleak