Heart or head ?

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DC is at Oxbridge. However the course they are on has a lot of content in an area in which they are not particularly interested - despite checking beforehand.

They're now wondering whether to reapply elsewhere for next year, for a course that seems to fit better.

Is it better to stay at the prestigious Uni and put up with the course, as all Unis reserve the right to change modules, and knowing all of the effort and hope that went into being offered a place there... or change knowing that it's expensive to go to Uni and you'll get the best results doing something you love?

Head or heart?

Are they first year? It might be totally different content in Y2

Presumably yr 2 will be different content so I would wait.
Or is there a similar course they can transfer to?

if it’s an undergrad, assuming it’s still applicable to the jobs they want, just get through it

It surely cannot be that different? Options change but the core should not change significantly. Maybe it’s just not the right course? However Oxford has cachet otherwise why do so many apply? If he’s going to get a 2:2, definitely move.

Does he like university life there, made friends, joined activities etc.
If he’s otherwise settled but course isn’t 100% to his taste then I’d ride it out assuming he’s doing well academically. He could always do a masters in subject area he prefers. Has he thoroughly investigated yr 2 and 3 options and discussed with tutor.
It depends on specifics though.

Thank you

What is the course? They might let him change to another course, depending on what it is. Eg. I know of students who have changed from HSPS to Geography, or English to Philosophy.

I agree about looking at yr two and onward. There might be much more choice. Having said that, how does the rest on year one look? Does your child have the full list of modules for this year?
Is there anything else they could spend this year doing that would help them for their future?

Hi, OP -

What year is your DC? This is crucial.

Writing as an academic, I think for most young Western people the head tends to follow the heart. They will do best at what they love.

The Oxbridge advantage in the UK is so great that if your DC has simply hit a couple of undesirable modules in Y2 after a strong first year, and will soon move on to electives, the question is delicate.

If DC is in Y1 and the Oxbridge dream has been reduced to a vision of pulling a heavy cart up a long hill, the advice from @TizerorFizz may be correct; DC may need to move.

Whether that means moving university or whether they are settling in well and would like to consider transferring courses as @Dixiechickonhols and @qizz suggest is then the question. Before doing that it is worth considering whether this is just the usual adjustment of a bright DC to their first demanding environment and whether, as PPs have said, the future module choices will look more attractive.

IME students from Asian backgrounds are often more goal orientated and will plough through the necessary modules to achieve their goal. This attitude is responsible for both a lot of success and a lot of stress (no matter who practises it). If your family shares such a cultural background I think you need to consider how DC will feel if they decide to abandon Oxbridge and violate it. That could be difficult.

What is the course? Can DC swap to another course?
Will the same issue come up in the next year or is there more of an opportunity to select other courses?
Is there a possibility to do a Masters afterwards in the more specific area they are interested in?

Yes... I don't know about Oxford but Cambridge seems to be quite amenable to letting its students change courses either almost immediately or at the end of the first year. In the latter case they may either progress straight into the second year if it's a similar enough course or else start again if not, and obviously only onto courses they've got the relevant qualifications for. One of DDs school friends changed from maths to languages (fortunately had a language A level and took another a priori).

Thank you - to answer some questions, he's first year, not really settled in yet, not a drinker and so feels a bit left out, and so we don't really know whether this will settle down or whether it's worth getting an application in elsewhere before the UCAS deadline. No other courses appeal at Oxford, it was this one particularly he wanted and is quite disillusioned.

What's the course?
And are you sure it won't get better in the 2nd or even in the 3rd year in terms of the modules available?
If it really is going to keep going in the same direction and he is sure that is not what he wants then it might be worth applying elsewhere.

I agree that if the current modules appear to be setting the tone and if this is not just a response to feeling simultaneously lonely and challenged for the first tome (which seems possible), then based on your update, OP, DS should probably leave. Under those circs the risk of an MH crisis or a bad degree would be too high for comfort.

Bot Oxford has its share of nondrinkers and finding your tribe takes time. Also many bright students have all kinds of negative reactions the first time they find themselves needing to work hard and wondering if they are actually all that intelligent. (They are, the humbling helps open their intellect.)

Can you help DS disentangle what might be going on here? No uni is right for everyone and leaving Oxbridge might be his best move. Being afraid at this stage that he might not make it there is something else entirely.

sorry, first Oxford should be Oxbrudge I think?

I’m quite unsure why it’s so different from expectations. What does the published year 1 info say for 2024, and what are the differences when compared to 2023 info and his expectations? Did he truly understand what the course was? Are you aware what the course problems are? Is it very substantial or have there just been tweaks which make it less attractive?

Not everyone drinks but you can associate with students and have a non alcoholic drink. It’s best to try and join in with something.

Thank you all. I don't know more, it's something that he investigated himself and is now unhappy about. Just trying to gauge opinions about whether or not it's worth sticking out, obviously I'll support him whatever he decides to do. Perhaps it'll feel better after Christmas.

It sounds more likely to be linked to him not setting. If he was settled and socialising course being more x heavy than anticipated or module y not being available would fade into background.

What subject is it and what is it he doesn't like?

I do actually think this highlights why drilling too deep into courses at an early stage isn’t always helpful. They are revised. They change. In general you get most of what you expect plus options. Options change more than core but 4 weeks in is really early to decide it’s not for you.

Hi again, OP.

The reason I think these questions important is so that DS can come to a good conclusion about his best course of action. During my time doing Admissions, my School benefitted from several Oxbridge transfers who had found their first uni(s) a bad fit. Their preparation was so good that most if not all were Y2 direct entries. IIRC all ended up with Firsts or 2.1s. Transfer can be the right decision.

But if someone is afraid or stressed because they are no longer the smartest person in every room ( this is embarrassing to admit, and may not even be consciously realised, but it isn’t all that uncommon) and will now have to do work that doesn’t always come easily, what I hope Mumsnetters will excuse me calling the ‘upper Russell Group’ isn’t going to be the solution either. And that is the only place in the UK DS will find real peers. In that case I would hope DS would get some help, perhaps pausing his studies, rather than immediately letting go of Oxbridge.

DS obviously has a lot of potential. I do believe that part of realising it is to find his tribe. That includes intellectually. Best wishes to him.

PS Of course there are highly intelligent students everywhere! But a critical mass of them is a great thing, and DS has that environment now. That’s the piece of good luck I am talking about - it can be deeply formative.

@poetryandwine If you don’t like what you are studying, the critical mass of bright Dc doesn’t help really. Most at Oxford will be happy though! Many unis have large numbers of bright Dc. The rejections from Oxbridge (16,000 just from Oxford) are in other top unis and will also pretty bright. Let alone those who didn’t apply but also had great results. Several people I’ve found to be super bright didn’t go to Oxbridge. Several people I know who did - you would not have guessed it!

I think the op needs to try and find out what’s wrong with the course. An overly picky student might not be happy anywhere. Going with the flow can pay dividends and a willingness to challenge yourself and your preconceived ideas. It also really matters what the course is regarding modules and therefore whether transfer is a good idea.

@TizerorFizz I agree: if you don’t like what you are studying you need to make a change. But it is a question of whether this is the true reason. I am with those who suspect the dissatisfaction DS may be experiencing is at least somewhat down to the fact that he hasn’t found his tribe and quite possibly to the fact that as with so many he is intellectually a bit thrown for the first time ever. To the extent that these may be factors, he will make the best decision now by taking them into account and finding the proper balance for himself.

I am not suggesting all super bright belong at Oxbridge or ‘ upper RG’. But the cohorts there ( as well as in very competitive programmes at other unis) can be a great advantage for students prepared to lean into them, both intellectually and personally. And the tutorial system is an incredible tool for those prepared to use it properly. But that means embracing the fact that you are definitely not the smartest (or at least you are amongst the most ignorant) in the room.

I think the OP needs to try to find out what is wrong. With the course but also with DS. Long experience of my tutees is that those who are having a good time take much longer than a couple of months to become disillusioned with a programme, as PPs have indicated . (I suppose a truly awful one could be an exception, but even the DS hasn’t said that is the issue. ) If the DS is honest with himself and his family I think this will work out.

I changed courses at Cambridge, and while it wasn't massively common it did happen quite a lot.

I'd be surprised if there wasn't provision at Oxford.

Having said that, a lot depends on what course he is doing. Something like maths or physics tends to have a common core across most universities and changing uni is not going to make that much difference.

Something like history, where he likes social history and there is a lot of economic history taught, then changing uni would seem to be sensible.

Worth a chat with his tutor first to find out what his options are I would have thought.

Def agree the DS should talk with his tutor, @Octavia64