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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

If you live in London and have student DC, do you find this?

4 replies

WhyOhWine · 03/07/2023 15:59

I have 2 DC at uni. Both just finished first year (DC1 took a gap year). We live in London. Both DC are at uni elsewhere but are home for the summer (when not travelling). We have found that they have had (and are planning to have) quite a few friends to stay, not just for socialising but also because friends need somewhere to stay in London. For example, DC2 had 3 uni friends (or rather 2 friends plus a friend of one of them) staying this weekend as they had tickets for a gig in London (not DD's cup of tea so she did not go herself but she was happy to see them and hang out before and after). We don't mind as we have space and quite like the hustle and bustle of having young people around (felt far too quiet when DC went off to uni in Sept).

However, i am conscious that next summer some of their friends might be looking to do internships etc in London and did overhear one friend raise the possibility of being able to stay here for month next summer if she manages to get a vacation scheme at a London law firm. It was very much a passing comment to be fair, not a firm request but it did get be thinking, hence this post.

I am also from outside London and remember being in the same position, and managed internships through a mix of staying with friends who grew up in London for a week or two here and there, and some time staying with a friend who had rented a student room for the summer. Having been in the position, my instinct is to be helpful, but appreciate that if we are talking weeks rather than days there are likely to be times when they are here but DC are not and not sure how i feel about that. Maybe it will never happen and they will realise that it is better to rent student rooms, but i know financially it is tough already for students and that my DC are in a fortunate position to have free London accomodation.

So just wondered whether others who live in London have found the same thing, and if so whether you have been accomodating/set ground rules etc. so that I am prepared if the requests come in!

OP posts:
Xenia · 03/07/2023 19:21

We are outer London and we have had quite a few to stay at times, but not for whole summers or anything like that. Law firm vacation schemes are often one week long or two weeks long and are paid so I doubt anyone would need to stay for 4 weeks but I have certainly not looked at the length of them all so I might be wrong (I am a lawyer with 4 lawyer children).

I think it's up to the parents what they want. My house is quite popular because I am single and there is loads of space and not much parental interference. Now they have all graduated and their friends their friends are renting in London so no one needs to stay here for internships or anything like that. It tends to be if one has a girlfriend and when they stay that needs to be agreed. Eg I didn't want one that has for them to move in here as it were or be together here in the week every week, but every other weekend is fine - very parent differs on what they feel is okay. I would love it if no one stayed here ever actually but I don't say no and it is a lot less often now they have graduated. My son had a friend for 4 or 5 weeks one summer which got too long for all of us in the end - as my sons know my priority is to have the exact departure date - no uncertainty at all.

WhyOhWine · 04/07/2023 10:35

Thanks. I think telling them they need to confirm with us in advance if more than a couple of nights and getting fixed departure dates are good ideas. I think i would be ok with a week or two, 4 weeks feels a bit long. But i guess i dont really need to worry about it until they ask!

OP posts:
chopc · 04/07/2023 19:01

I live in Kent but less than 30 min train ride to London. Have 2 of DC's 2nd year friends staying in our outbuilding whilst they are doing their internships. DC is currently abroad .

I am OK with it as we have a self contained out building. Not sure how I would feel if they were in the main house and sharing common areas ...

caringcarer · 04/07/2023 20:51

I'm not in London but we sometimes have one of our DC school friends stay overnight as we're middle of the country so those traveling from the North to the South with small children have been glad to arrive late at night, put their kids to bed, eat a meal then bed then get up and leave first thing in the morning. I don't mind. I like to see my children's friend's children. I have a holiday home too and I've let my children's friend's go to stay in it with them but also on their own. It's just sitting there empty and I have known many of these friends since they were quite young children themselves. DH and I are quite relaxed people so it does bother us. One of my dh colleagues has used it too.

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