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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued

1000 replies

Panicmode1 · 02/07/2023 15:36

New thread.....!

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Ilovefatrascals · 22/08/2023 13:25

Thank you all for your help re laptops/iPads, tech, all very helpful!

Panicmode1 · 22/08/2023 13:25

At DS's college, they are invoiced termly in advance for their accommodation, but then get their college bill for sundries (charges for formals, buttery charges, matriculation photos etc) in arrears. They have a minimum time they MUST be in college for (however many nights it is, can't remember) and then have a licence for a few days either side - teaching weeks start on a Thursday which was a bit confusing for me at first. Sadly my MIL died in DS's second week and he was completely stressed about leaving college for a night, thinking he wouldn't have met the requirement, but I quietly contacted his DoS (which DS was livid about) and checked it was OK - which of course it was.

He was also lucky in that his room was not used for conferences/outside events during holidays so he never had to clear his room - some of the rooms in his college are better suited to paying guests so some of his friends had to clear their rooms in the breaks - but there are storage rooms I think.

In the first year, they arrived and went to the Plodge (porters lodge) and were given their key and we didn't know anything about the banding or what he had been allocated until he found the bill on the desk in his room. For the second year, they do the ballot for the following year in Lent term. So everyone goes into the pot, either as an individual or as group, and then your number gets pulled out and you make a choice based on what is left at that point. So if you are number 1, and get first pick in your second year, then in your third year, you will get last pick.

Parking/Traffic in C on drop off day was horrendous and we had to drop and run on the double yellow lines but I booked a space through JustPark on someone's drive which was a lifesaver and much cheaper than paying to park.

So, I think that the moral of the story is that it is very college specific - and also the amount of information you will get is very child specific. DS was/is incredibly independent so beyond buying him the correct gown, dropping him off, and sending injections of cash periodically to pay the bills, we don't really get involved - although we have been to formal hall and I hope to get to Lent or May bumps this year; something we didn't achieve last year.

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sytron · 22/08/2023 17:51

Hello everyone, My DC has a place at Oxford, to read Maths. I am very grateful to all of you for your wisdom and advice because it is so unlike my own redbrick university experience.

Thank you for the help!

pepperaunt · 22/08/2023 18:31

Welcome to fellow NatSci parents! DD Is a rising 3rd year Physical NatSci. She went in as a physicist and fell in love with Earth Sciences. Will be glad to answer any questions.

mutterphore · 22/08/2023 21:34

@Panicmode1 hope you had a lovely birthday celebration!

Regarding accommodation, as others have said, this varies college to college at Ox and Cam.

DS1 (C) was allocated a tiny, en suite, top floor room for his first year, right beside the corridor door that banged loudly every time anyone went in and out of the corridor. Freshers decided that this corridor would be party central and played loud music all night long outside his room. This was the days of Covid and any gatherings happened only on corridor floors where students also ate from takeaway plastic trays sitting on the corridor floors. So that was a tricky start for him, as he likes peace and quiet.

Don't get me started on food....let's just say that by year 2, he was buying and cooking all his own food in the tiny kitchen on his corridor and one of the only times he ate college food - other than at formal hall dinners - he got really bad food poisoning.

Accommodation bills were sent within a few days of each term. In Years 2 and 3, he had to list a choice of accommodation and each time got his last/ 5th choice, with no en suite but in a nicer, quieter part of the college and also the very cheapest too. In fact, his accommodation costs must have been amongst the cheapest student accommodation in the UK, which was great. He got his bedding and towel provided by college and washed/ changed each week too.

DS2 (O) was allocated a massive but non-en suite room in his first year, very peaceful but not so cheap as DS1's and in fact each year, DS2's Oxford accommodation costs were quite a bit more than DS1's but still really good rates for a student. His college had a proper ballot system so that if you'd not got your first choice the previous year, you'd have a better chance of this the next year. In Years 2 and 3, he got en suite rooms, again, far far larger than DS1's. In his final year, he had a massive room about 4 to 5 times the size of his tiny room back home and with two beds as well that could be made into a double. He provided his own bedding each year.

Food at his college has to be about the best I've ever had when eating out (For me - one formal hall and one graduation lunch only, however, during his entire 3 years there). However, he too made a lot of his own food in his second and third year in the kitchen for his college accommodation block.

Both had to clear out their entire room at the end of each term, so there was a lot of packing and unpacking to do across the three years. Both enjoyed being able to live in college for all three years and this worked out very well for them. Parking at each of their colleges was always fine and plentiful for parents.

Regarding cycling, both used their bikes a lot at Ox and Cam and used two strong locks to ensure no thefts. Both are used to cycling and weren't worried about traffic but had a sensible attitude towards safety and no accidents.

It's so exciting, by proxy, hearing about all those with DCs starting out at O & C. I wish my two could do it all over again and they really loved their time there.

Malbecfan · 22/08/2023 22:11

My DD's experience was quite different to mutterphore's C DS's. She completely catered for herself, even in the small kitchens (gyps). In her 4th year, her floor managed to cook an entire traditional Christmas dinner for Bridgemas (25th November) - probably better if you don't ask the full details of how they did this! DD had some formal dinners, and because she sang in a chapel choir, she had a formal in that college every week too. When DD started there in 2017 students had to spend £85 per term on college food, which she bitterly resented. That has now been scrapped and as she lives out, doesn't apply anyway.

Lots of these matters are college-specific, and things your DC can ask about in Facebook groups or when their college parents get in contact. DD's room always had a lockable cupboard where she could store crockery/duvet/gown etc over the vacation even if the room was let out. Her college also has some parking, which was very useful. In fact, when we took my DF to visit her in her 1st term, the Master allowed us to use the Fellows parking as DF is disabled, which was much appreciated.

ofteninaspin · 23/08/2023 07:50

Accommodation and food really does vary hugely.

Oxford DD did a lot of self catering over four years. She read biological sciences so the combination of labs and uni level sports training meant she missed a lot of evening meals in Hall. She frequently ate lunch in Hall though even when not living on the central college site as it was convenient for the department and the food was excellent.
Cooking facilities varied each year from a tiny pantry cupboard with a single ring in first year to a spacious kitchen with farmhouse sized table and enormous freezer in a college owned house in fourth year. DD also went to a lot of formals and the food was very good and well priced.
Accommodation in her college is one price regardless of room size, en suite or not and brilliant value. There’s a proper ballot in second year onwards. First year rooms are small and characterful but fresh and clean.

Cambridge DS lived in college for all three years as is the norm for his college. He rarely cooked for himself as Hall was so convenient and worked with his schedule although his final year staircase had an excellent kitchen. Accommodation and food was significantly more expensive than his sister’s Oxford college but he had spacious, characterful rooms and Formals compared favourably with other Cambridge colleges.

Panicmode1 · 23/08/2023 10:56

DS manages to self cater...tho how he managed in such a tiny gyp room last year, I have no idea!

I think he will do the same this year...his timetable means he is rarely back in college at meal times. I thought he would be missing out on college life, but several of his STEM peers do the same and he's often at formals, so I don't think it curtails his social life much really....

OP posts:
DahliaMacNamara · 23/08/2023 12:05

DD caters for herself too. Her college has basic but not lavish space and equipment for cooking. It's perfectly adequate provided not too many others on her floor want to do the same thing. She's fussy about food (neurodiverse) and finds it easier to manage her budget if she's not spending money on food she might not want to eat.

madcattersteaparty · 23/08/2023 13:48

Hi all, just wanted to ask - does anyone attend formal dinner with their DC, as a guest ? We live a very long way away so would only be able to visit very rarely and I do know that DC is allowed to bring a guest occasionally. But I guess I'm asking - is it the done thing or would it be mortifying? Thanks!

Ironoaks · 23/08/2023 13:57

madcattersteaparty · 23/08/2023 13:48

Hi all, just wanted to ask - does anyone attend formal dinner with their DC, as a guest ? We live a very long way away so would only be able to visit very rarely and I do know that DC is allowed to bring a guest occasionally. But I guess I'm asking - is it the done thing or would it be mortifying? Thanks!

DS's college has an annual "parents' dinner" during Lent term. It didn't take place during his first year (pandemic) but we attended in his second year. It was a lovely occasion.

During the rest of the year, I believe students can invite guests to most formal halls, but I'd be led by the student and how comfortable they feel bringing parents along.

pantjog · 23/08/2023 14:40

@madcattersteaparty we went to a couple of formals at DD1’s college, and one at DS’s, and a lunch at DD2’s… we’re lucky that we are an hour away from O and two hours from C so it’s not a big palaver. I’d say that invitations to these things have got more frequent as the DC have got older and find us less embarrassing!

beeswain · 23/08/2023 14:59

Welcome again to those new on the thread @sytron my ds is now a 4th year Mathematician. He loves the faculty and the range of courses.
He had mostly biked around Oxford on an old bike but now seems to prefer the dreaded electric scooters! He had almost entirely self catered in a 2 ring hob, his College is PAYG for meals which works well for him

Panicmode1 · 23/08/2023 15:23

madcattersteaparty · 23/08/2023 13:48

Hi all, just wanted to ask - does anyone attend formal dinner with their DC, as a guest ? We live a very long way away so would only be able to visit very rarely and I do know that DC is allowed to bring a guest occasionally. But I guess I'm asking - is it the done thing or would it be mortifying? Thanks!

We have attended formal hall with DS - as have my parents, and my daughter. His college still does candlelit ones so it's rather lovely. We are less than 2 hours away so drove home afterwards as they don't end very late - but my parents and daughter stayed in C after their respective invitations!

OP posts:
Clemenc0 · 23/08/2023 15:51

Wouldn't dream of asking but we live in hope.

Ironoaks · 23/08/2023 16:07

The three 'touristy' things I hoped to attend while DS is at Cambridge are choral evensong, formal hall and punting. We've managed the first two. We have yet to persuade DS into a punt, but there's still next summer...

JulesJules · 23/08/2023 17:46

Ironoaks · 23/08/2023 16:07

The three 'touristy' things I hoped to attend while DS is at Cambridge are choral evensong, formal hall and punting. We've managed the first two. We have yet to persuade DS into a punt, but there's still next summer...

We've only managed punting @Ironoaks and it turned out H was not as adept as he used to be. We've stuck to pedalos since. Too far away for a formal hall sadly, still hopeful of a choral evensong.

ofteninaspin · 23/08/2023 17:58

DH and I have attended two formals and a parents lunch at DD’s college and one parents formal at DS’s.

We have punted three or four times with DD in Oxford. Her college provide bookable free punts and DD was always keen to show off her punting prowess. Never managed it in Cambridge. We were supposed to finally punt along the Backs the day after graduation but the weather was awful.

HewasH20 · 23/08/2023 18:38

Graduation next month will be our first (& last) official visit. DD's college charges anyone living in a daily hall fee of around £4.50 per day if you DON'T eat dinner or around £8.00 for dinner. It just goes to prove how variable each college is. She negotiated not to have to pay the hall fee in her final year to allow her to self cater in a college house, but that was only allowed under exceptional circumstances.

Juja · 23/08/2023 19:03

Clemenc0 · 23/08/2023 15:51

Wouldn't dream of asking but we live in hope.

Ditto!

I think DC1 only goes to formal hall when it's Boat Club Dinner or his subject dinner. Maybe I'll have better luck with DC2 who starts this year...

Malbecfan · 23/08/2023 19:09

@madcattersteaparty we have been to one parents' lunch when DD was a fresher and one formal dinner in college. She's been there for 6 years! To be fair to us, it's a long way to go and we have lots of musical commitments at the weekends so it's hard to get away.

Teriyakieverything · 23/08/2023 21:52

So DD today received the email on joining the IT etc., she will have a uni card which she could top up with credit to use on College meals. Question, could this card be used across the whole of Cambridge university? And would she, for example, be able to join a friend for lunch in a different College using the uni card to pay?

Just thinking that her College will be too far for her to go back for lunch, and whether she would have to make /take her own lunch, or would she be able to go to another College with a friend to get lunch?

goodbyestranger · 23/08/2023 22:21

Across the years I haven't been to many formal events in any of the DCs' colleges. One parents' dinner and one very beautiful carol service at Magdalen.
I lived in Devon, so not easy to do Oxford in a day/ drive back after dinner. And for the most part there were always other DC and DDog/s to think about at home in any event. But I have been up on numerous occasions where one or more DC was being dropped off or collected and then we fell into a really good routine of me staying overnight, going out to dinner, and then the next day walks round Uni Parks and the DCs' colleges, lunch in the Vaults or a take out from the Covered Market. Basically, much more informal but lots of lovely memories. The graduation days have all been fab - no blips so far. Hopefully two more next year and then the curtain falls.

pantjog · 24/08/2023 00:14

@Teriyakieverything the meal prepayment card (or similar) will be college-specific I’m afraid. I’m not sure what those people do who are a long way from their college at lunchtime. By her fourth year my DD was living out of college so used to make a packed lunch rather than buy lunch out every day. She’s quite a foodie so was happy to take things in a wide-necked flask to avoid sandwich boredom.

Teriyakieverything · 24/08/2023 08:25

@pantjog thanks for the info. I think we’ll just have to buy dd some sturdy tupperware boxes for her lunch. She’s thinking of making noodle salads and sandwiches mainly. Yesterday we were looking at some ‘bento box’ lunch systems in John Lewis, and although they looked good, the hinges and seals don’t look sturdy, so anything wet or with a sauce would leak out , and I had visions of her lunch leaking all into her rucksack and paperwork as she goes about her busy day…

Another practical question, do departments generally have facilities for making tea and microwave? Don’t want her to get into an expensive Costa habit…..

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