Current Oxford/Cambridge students support/chat continued

[Panicmode1]

New thread.....!

Congratulations to all the Oxbridge 2023 freshers!

@GodessOfThunder I’m surprised you haven’t ‘made your presence felt’ on the Durham University thread as that particular institution - in your view- attracts more ‘chit chat’ on Mumsnet than it should…

Actually @GodessOfThunder there was a thread in 2019 for those parents whose DC were going to UEA.

Whilst many of us may have had a university education, Oxbridge is quite different from most other places. Neither DH nor I had a clue about it; DH has studied or worked at 4 different universities. I always viewed this thread as a safe space to ask questions and later on, share my experience. Other posters here have in the overwhelming majority been kind, helpful and mutually supportive. If you have a problem with that, why not report the threads?

Can I row back and say to JulesJules that I am seriously delighted that I helped contribute to some decent sleep for her D1 :)

@GodessOfThunder your assumption that we are here to brag and show off says more about you than us.
What my child has achieved is entirely their own and whilst I am incredibly proud of him Ii in no way claim any part other than being there to support him in any way I can.
Neither my husband or I have been to uni so I'm grateful to people on here for their advice.
My question is why are you on here?

Am waiting for GOfT to announce she's not in the least chippy since she has or has had some ridiculous number of kids at Oxbridge - you know eight or something totally not credible.

Come on GOfT, show us your rabbit.

Thanks, @Ironoaks - dd is physical too, and I’m no scientist, so it will be really useful to pick your brains. In fact, dd only just realised that her college offers 3 out of 4 years accommodation, and students need to live out one year. Which year would you recommend? I presume not 4th because of finals, but would 2nd or 3rd make more sense for the structure of the course? And how easy/cheap to find is accommodation? Do most students live in all 3 years, so there’s not so much demand for housing, or is it frantic like a lot of places regularly.

@GodessOfThunder - gotta say I’m in agreement with @HereWeGo2023 and @CinnamonJellyBeans here. This thread is tucked away and probably rarely on anyones radar unless it’s results time or they’ve searched it up.
And fuck it, yes I am ridiculously proud of dd, happy to show off what she has achieved despite covid (with the disclaimer that of course there is a lot of luck involved with getting through the Oxbridge entrance system too), and keen to swap chat with others enjoying the same experience.

Do you frequent the Tack Room to harangue those mnetters who can afford to ride horses, or the Common room to attack those audacious enough to be blessed with academic excellence? Grow up.

The truth is that Oxford and Cambridge have a whole host of things that are a bit of a mystery to anyone who didn't go - Cambridge reject here. I've found the sharing of information from others really useful as I've supported DS1 and DD at Oxford. And I'm happy to share what I've learnt with others.

I could do with the same help now as DS2 heads to the US and I will happily share anything I learn about that experience in the future.

Isn't that what Mumsnet is about?

Just getting DS to go through all correspondence from the last couple of days - there is a lot! He’s got 6 weeks to get himself ready with what he needs. As much as I’d love to take over and do all his lists and things, I know I have to restrain myself and just let him sort himself out and help when asked.

I didn't go to University and nobody I knew growing up even contemplated Oxbridge so it's always been a mystery to me. DS has been educated in the US and now that he is heading to Oxford, I still have nobody around me IRL with any Oxbridge experience so these threads are invaluable to me as a source of information (and are in the spirit of the original Mumsnet, parents supporting parents).
@HoneyMobster, I'm in the US so if I can help with anything please let me know!

On @goodbyestranger ’s excellent notion of ‘rowing back’ can I suggest using Home Bargains floral bags- other prints are available- to ‘lug stuff ‘ from the car to the DCs rooms- worked a lot better than the boxed stuff me and DD took down given I did most of the lugging!

@NewSituationNewName my DD was PhysNatSci too so please ask away. DD is currently on a train between Amsterdam and St Pancras so answers may not be instant.

DD's college allowed her to live in for all 4 years. My preference would be to live out in 4th year. My reasoning is that you have to pass the first 3 years to get to 4th year, so there is less pressure in year 4. You will have a much better idea of who your mates are after those 3 years. My other daughter is at a different English uni. She was looking for potential housemates from Christmas of year 1. As it happened, she was fine but there are plenty of threads on here which are not so good. When your DC finds out who their college parents are, that would be a good question to ask them.

Congrats to all the parents of freshers! I have DD1 who has just graduated from Oxford in Classics; DS who is going in to his 3rd year at Cambridge in Engineering; and DD2 who is going in to her 2nd year at Oxford studying Music (and also a choral scholar). Spelling this out in case anyone has any subject specific questions... rather than showing off. Like many others, I've found these threads invaluable over the years.

Interestingly my children have all had single beds in their various rooms in their various colleges and it didn't occur to me to suggest that my 6'3" son should request a bigger bed. He seems to have survived. Similarly they seem to manage without mattress toppers and it's one less thing to lug back and forth. Neither DS nor DD2 needed a kettle; in fact DD2 wasn't allowed to use her own, and she was given a fridge in her room. The college seemed very keen on electrical safety.

Interesting re the advice above on drugs and unwanted sexual advances. All colleges have compulsory sessions in freshers' week about such matters. All my children have moaned about them, but from the stories they tell me I know that they are needed -- and the sexual harassment ones aren't just for the female students. I've heard a pretty nauseating story about the attempted grooming of a vulnerable male undergraduate by an older male student (including the sending of graphic pictures). Thankfully the younger man told the older one where to go.

Finally, my freshest advice would be for students to take as unattractive a bike as possible with them, plus a disproportionately good lock. My DS (in Cambridge over the summer for an internship) has just had his bike nicked and is seriously annoyed.

Thanks @Malbecfan - I hadn’t realised they have exams every single year! 😮 Yikes. Then it sounds like your advice to hold fire is very sensible indeed. I’ll suggest she asks her college parent. She’s currently assiduously reading every page of the 7-page data protection agreement, or something, before signing it. Meanwhile, packing lists, reading work, etc remain untouched.
She still needs to master prioritising, I think….!

@pantjog your bike advice is spot on. We got DD a bike from our local recycling centre which cost a whole £8 in 2017. It's a vile shade of pink - think strawberry milkshake with added rust. DH sorted its brakes then my DF bought DD a seriously strong lock (Sports Direct from memory). She had one issue when the lock jammed. She walked back to the plodge (Porters' Lodge) and managed to borrow some WD40 which did the trick.

The porters in DD's college are lovely but they make it clear that they don't do bike repairs or other things like that. That said, when DD's glasses snapped, they were good about lending her some tape so she could bodge them up.

Something else to think about: in term time, undergraduates are not allowed to drive a car in C without permission. If caught, they can be sent down. DD has a car, but she has only ever driven it there in 2 vacations and one of them was once she had graduated. The car lives at our home normally and is driven by my DF and DD2. Traffic in C is awful and cycling is definitely the better way to travel.

@BackToWhereItAllBegan neither my husband or I went to uni and we’re living in the north too - I’m finding it all a bit surreal.

DS had second hand folding bike we got this time last year from local charity. Still got stolen first term at C even with good lock. And it was really ugly! We are northern too and non university parents. DS going into year 2 - history.

DD has used the bike shop on Cowley Road for a few repairs. She's quite nervous about cycling in Oxford tbh. Please drum into them (if ever in any doubt) to wear helmets.

@NewSituationNewName DS lived in college for years 1-3 and in 4th year will be living out, but in a flat owned by the university and rented via the college. There was a period of uncertainty about the final arrangements, but he has been relieved to hear that the college have found him a room in a flat near his department / labs and sharing with two of his friends.

Thank you for the welcome @Juja . MiniTeriyaki did it, she will be off to Cambridge to do Natsci, we are all mentally and emotionally exhausted last few days and it’s only just sinking in. Last Wednesday I just could not think beyond Thu 8am and was going insane from not knowing, panicking and visualising her going to C one minute, then London the next or even Birmingham….I had a Battle Plan (plan B)/C…Z all drawn up on a spreadsheet in readiness for Thursday.

To more practical questions, are there any advice or tips for cycling around C ? Her college is not so central and quite some distance away from the main department (other side of C).

And thank you to all the warm welcomes from all the posters to us newbies here.

You are correct: that is my view.

Wow you're very pompous GOfT.

Are you on some kind of a mission? Just that so far (thus far if you prefer), it's not going too well.

@Teriyakieverything

DS was never a confident cyclist but he has found Cambridge OK. It should be as it is far better set up than other university towns/ cities in this context. I've cycled around much of Cambridge + surrounding areas and found it comfortable but then I ride everywhere in Central London otherwise for work. One just has to get used to sharing facilities with many other riders esp. in term-time. Get an excellent lock and drill it into the new keeper,'s head to use the lock every time before leaving it. Even for half a minute. Helmet of course, but that is a matter of personal choice.