Friendship issues at the sharp end of Year 13…

[HappySonHappyMum]

Is anybody else's DC experiencing friendship issues? My DD has one friend who seems to be making life difficult, the friend has made new friends and has started vaping and drinking lots. My DD is working hard as she needs good results whereas her friend is ready to drop out completely as has lost all focus. I'd generally encourage my DD to step back but my DD is supposed to be taking a fully paid planned trip with her and another couple of friends after A levels are done. I'm worried the angst is going to be distracting but I'm not sure how to encourage her to deal with it.

Ah, that's tough. I'd tell her that this is how life goes, so learning to have shitty things in the background is good (but rubbish!) experience for life. But, they have to be kept in the background. It's only a few short weeks left to focus. I'd encourage her to put her studies first. And keep the lines of communication open.

Re the holiday, I'd be thinking to myself that if she and this other girl really drift apart, losing the money because she doesn't want to go isn't as big a deal as supporting your daughter's choices. But perhaps tell her that the holiday is something that can be assessed much closer to the time. To keep an open mind and what will be will be.

I've just reread the first part of my post, it sounds a bit curt and dismissive. I don't mean it like that, sometimes we do have to encourage our young adults to see the bigger picture. She sounds like she's got her screwed on, with your support she'll navigate this, one way or another.

Only a few weeks and it'll all be over. (Till we start worrying about results and offers and accommodation!)

It's been a few days since I posted this and my DD spent an evening messaging back and forth with the friend trying to resolve things and come the end of it the friend agreed to revisit things once the exams were over and the stress of it all had reduced. I (and my DD) thought this was a good resolution but the following day said friend was showing everyone the messages and trying to stir it all up by pulling other people into it. My DD has no inclination at all to sort things out all now as she really can't be doing with all the drama. She's taken the high ground and is not rising to the bait at all - which has ramped up the friend even more. It'll be interesting how it all works out, I honestly thought the friend would still be friendly just not so full on but she is now in full 'ignore' mode. I can't believe all this started because my DD organised to do some revision with someone else in a coffee shopping the Easter hols!

The F sounds amazingly insecure and immature.

I think your DD is doing a great job by not being drawn into the drama.

I think that your daughter and you seem to be handling this situation well.
Good that she continues to focus on her studies!
Perhaps there is not much more you can do about the situation right now.