Guaranteeing DCs' rent

[1Wanda1]

I have 2 DC at university. They both need me to guarantee their rent next year. This year, one of them has managed his money badly and has needed top-ups to pay his monthly rent (on top of the money he already receives, which his rent and living costs are budgeted from). The other one has managed her money fine. They both have the same amount of money to live on each week after rent, though DD lives in a more expensive city (both outside London).

For next year I've said to them that I will guarantee the rent but only if they transfer to me from their loans and other money the rent amount, which I will then pay on their behalf and will leave them to manage their living money. They both flatly refuse and say this is unnecessary. In the case of DD, I can see her point. In the case of DS, I'm very unhappy about it as he has already shown he can't/won't budget.

If I were to be called on under either guarantee, I wouldn't have the money to pay as have no savings. So I would like the security of knowing the rent will definitely be paid and not used up ahead of time on other expenses. Most people I know had their parents pay their rent and just transfer them living money, and this is how my friends with DC at uni do it too. My DC say no one does this and it's unreasonable.

What is reasonable here?

"For next year I've said to them that I will guarantee the rent but only if they transfer to me from their loans and other money the rent amount, which I will then pay on their behalf and will leave them to manage their living money. They both flatly refuse and say this is unnecessary. In the case of DD, I can see her point. In the case of DS, I'm very unhappy about it as he has already shown he can't/won't budget."

Following on from the question I asked about the Dad - which has been helpfully clarified as he can't pass the checks:

I don't know if this would help explaining to the kids that you are having to take the responsibility for Both and that's why you have to have the money in advance.

Everyone here is reliant on your your credit worthiness and therefore have a responsibility to you as well to ensure that is protected.

Your DS and DD are old enough now to understand this and perhaps if given this alternative viewpoint will acknowledge how You need to be protected and covered too, in just the same way you are covering them.

Best Wishes and hope you can come to a reasonable agreement OP.

If you are having to pay rent up front before they have any of the monies, isn't this a moot point?
You make the payment and either deduct it from what you were going to give them or they pay you back.

If the payments were in arrears I could understand your point.

Regardless, of course you can impose terms on your being the guarantor - and your ds then has a choice of whether to accept those terms.

There are landlords who don't require guarantors. My ds1s gf can't get a guarantor and is in (according to them both) a nice student house with a landlord who doesn't require one.

This won't work because both DC have to pay their rent deposits and first rent instalment in June, but their dad won't give them money till mid-Sept when they actually go back to uni.

So he will have to get a job to save up for this expense.

nusu.co.uk/support/yourguarantor

Can he use a scheme like this one at Newcastle University?

£1100 per MONTH? That's nearly as much as I earn teaching on UPS3 0.6 with years of experience. We give that to DD2 per term in her 1st 2 terms, less in the 3rd as it's shorter. DD1 gets nothing as she has a stipend for her PhD. Blimey, how the other half live...

His dad has money, as in capital, but (apparently) doesn't have a job. The Landlord requires payslip proof of regular income, or several months' rent up front, which isn't an option.

@Malbecfan - sort of depends where and what the child is studying. Mine pays rent of £12k pa and needs to live on top of that. We pay the rent plus £500pcm as that is what they need to live on and pay the incidental costs of their course of study (eg bi monthly sets of cello strings at £300 a pop....

So is your DS actually prepared to drop out rather than compromise on how his rent gets paid? I think I'd let him, in that case. Time for a dose of reality. He could presumably tap his dad up for the rent to be paid in advance, but doesn't.

This isn't your problem to solve. You've laid out the terms under which you're prepared to act as a guarantor. Given you don't have the money to be the guarantor, what you've suggested is the only reasonable course. It's up to him what he does now.

I think what you are proposing is fine for DS but not DD. DS has demonstrated a lack of planning and relied on you to bail him out. They are individuals and it's okay to treat them differently and according to their circumstances. If DS wants a guarantor for next year he has to do whatever you need him to or he won't have one and if he chooses not to and has to drop out as a result it's on him and not on you. It's not like you are refusing to give DS money, just that you need to protect your own financial security which presumably both DC rely on at some point through the year too when they come home. We pay rent & DC live off maintenance loan. 2nd year DC decided they wanted to stick with 1st year routine of transferring student loan to us on receipt and a set amount transferred back to them on a weekly basis. I'm happy to continue that if they prefer - they have a job so manage that money monthly. Budgeting for students is really tricky given when they receive the money. DC2's termly rent had to be paid by 27th Aug but student loan didn't get paid until 3rd Oct when uni started. DC1 has very unequal terms and there's only about 3 weeks of uni left for the year when the 3rd student loan payment is paid around Easter.

Considering his past and current behaviour with money then what you have offered is completely reasonable. In fact, an adult realising that they are not good at handling money, would be sensible to allow someone else to help rein them in. I would tell him straight that you are not going to be financially ruined by him. He either agrees to pay you his student maintenance loan or you don't guarantee his accommodation.

Although with him being as flaky as he is, I would get him to sign an agreement with you that he will transfer the loan to you. He is coming across as entitled and believes he should live the life he wants with you funding it. Stop giving him any extra money. If he chooses to drop out of uni that is on him. Do not be blackmailed by him. Also if he drops out then he is going to have to get a job anyway.