Y2 crisis - advice please

[Houseplantmad]

My normally very capable DC is having what I can only describe as a type of breakdown. Despite doing well in Y1 they feel they are missing some basics in one fairly central part of their course and now feel they are falling behind in Y2. This has manifested itself in not sleeping, eating, being uncharacteristically emotional and not enjoying socialising or usual sport, as they dread returning to their flat as that is where the work is to be done.

They have seen welfare support (who were excellent) and are due to see their academic advisor but the way they currently are, I don’t see how they can continue at uni for now, or maybe forever. I have brought them home as they are so traumatised, so down on themself and feel they have ruined their life!

We have gone through all the associated issues ie option of leaving, housing etc to rationalise them and all is fine for a while but then they crash and burn pretty quickly soon after and are just a wreck of emotions.
They hate uni at the moment but are so frightened of any alternatives.

Anyone else have experience of this and have any advice please as it’s heartbreaking to see someone with so much potential go through this?

its not unusual for students to take a gap in studying and return to the start of the year the following Sept. Obviously it's another year's fees but better than a breakdown or flunking entirely.

I'm sorry, that's hard. My ds had issues over 2nd and 3rd year and nearly gave up too. He didn't in the end but there were lots of times when I drove several hours to get there to see him at short notice or to help him with some crisis.

Has something happened with your child? Is this a response to something that's happened or a MH issue or a crisis of confidence?

I would say try some counselling, if you can - this helped my son - and otherwise just keep going with kindness, food, love, support and exploring the options. Good luck. And tell your child that it really isn't the end of the world if they leave uni, there are other options.

Suspend studies for the rest of the year, get a job they don't have to 'take home' and look forward to returning next year with a different cohort of students. If that doesn't appeal, leave. There is no point doing/being somewhere you hate.

Thanks both. @MsPinkMarshmallow no, nothing in particular has happened but they’ve just become overwhelmed and can’t see the woods for the trees. My happy go lucky, bright and positive DC is broken and a shell of themself so I think a break is probably the only answer right now and, as you say, some counselling. Thanks for sharing your experience and glad to hear your DS got there in the end. Thanks again.

Did academic supervisor have any useful advice ?

My DD has 2 friends who took a break. One restarted a completely different degree (managed to get charitable funding for extra year) and other came back to original degree. Both in 3rd year and doing great.

One who returned to degree got good advice from supervisor. He said that he had a real talent in writing which is harder to teach but was behind others in another core aspect. During time off, they worked in a shop and caught up with the part of course they struggled with. Supervisor suggested books to work thru and it just clicked.

Hi, OP -

Academic here, and I am sorry I missed this thread earlier. I share your view that it is heartbreaking.

First, has your DC met with their academic advisor yet? Do they have a good rapport with their AA? This person is potentially important as decisions for their future are taken ( at least in my School) so it is worth thinking about the meeting ahead of time. At this stage I think the goal is to preserve options while DC figures out what they want.

How much does DC perceive that the current trouble us caused by missing something from Year 1? Given that they did well in Y1, making that link sounds quite mature to me. If one of my previously successful advisees wanted to interrupt to get some intensive counselling and firm up background from the times of Covid ( when so many students struggled, though I don’t know what was going on at your DC’s uni) I would be very supportive. At the same time, we always recognise that students who interrupt may choose a different path.

Above all, I would urge a student in crisis to request the interruption . The worst thing is to watch students fail to do this and then it becomes almost impossible to recover academically. If. DC is refused an interruption and is in as bad a way as you make out, restarting or transferring somewhere else is probably preferable to continuing without interruption. But I am optimistic that a break with some self study may help a lot. Best wishes

Another academic also suggesting an interruption/leave of absence/intercalation.

DC today are pushed on an educational treadmill, and sometimes they need to step off and breathe - and work out whether university is where they want to be.

I actually doubt that it's simply about "missing" something in Year 1. That is easily fixed with going back to Year 1 lecture/seminar notes, having a catch up session with a tutor. This sounds like a much deeper crisis of confidence, and the fixation on one thing is a smokescreen.

If I were this student's personal tutor, I'd be digging a bit to find out what's really going on. I did this with one student once and she disclosed eventually that she'd been subject to a serious sexual assault. That's what we had to deal with - her late work was irrelevant.