Commuting 75 mins to university

[PettsWoodParadise]

Hello, university offers are coming in for DD. Others still waiting for. I really want DD to have the full university experience, not just academic.

We live in London suburbs. She originally put one of her five choices as a London Uni as she’s been worried about her father and wanted an option to stay nearer home. DH got the all clear from cancer recently and so that reason for being closer to home is no longer there (not that I want her to live her life worrying over him, but she is very close to her Dad).

With some institutions having accommodation issues a Uni close to home isn’t off the cards. Does anyone have experience of their DC living in a London hall for first year then living at home and commuting in?

The lack of stress over second and third year accommodation is appealing but then it seems poor reason to choose a university (unless it is an Oxbridge college or university that offers this!).

DD is not a party type or a drinker, she doesn’t like night clubs or loud places but does enjoy hanging out with friends informally or going to concerts and stand-up.

Any experiences and pros or cons welcome! Thank you.

I've not got experience sorry but just wanted to say that I'm glad you're DH has the all clear

Hi, there have been various threads about this, for example: www.mumsnet.com/talk/higher_education/4641773-living-at-home-for-university.

Many London students live at home. My DC has just started at UCL, living in Bloomsbury this year, but I think there's a strong chance they'll be back living with us in year 2/3. We're about a 75 min commute away too.

By the way, UCL do guarantee that first year students will get a place in halls if they want one.

Thanks @PritiPatelsMaker. Now trying to look forward. DD couldn’t contemplate being away from home at one point so even applying was a challenge despite her being so very very suited to the courses she is applying for. Originally placing a local University was about keeping options w it is with huge joy we look at this through a different lens.

Neither of my DC like to drink or are party animals but they loved their uni experience. One joined a uni sports team and the other ended up
president of the history society. They enjoyed May informal get togethers with their new friends. They both learnt a lot of life skills and are really good at budgeting.

hi OP I work for a central london uni. Many students from London live in halls in the first year and then home for the remaining two years. This way they make friends but not Orane on too much debt

It might work out in the future for some students to share a room, on different days, whilst also living at home.

Hi Pettswood. I am sorry to hear about your DH, and glad he has the all clear. After going through this in her teenage years it seems reasonable that she might want to remain close to home.

The year in halls, followed by two years at home is a pretty common pattern. London campuses are open late, and social life tends to be focussed there. After first year friendships are more normally based on course and societies. Living at home rather than in a shared flat does not make a lot of difference.

The 75 minutes might. However as a Plan B it sounds reasonable.

We lived much closer to DS' university so the assumption was that he would move home after his first year. As it turned out he made some good friends in the year above who then had a spare room in their ex-council flat 15 mins walk from the University and he moved in. (We saw real advantages in a second year sharing with hard working third years - he saw advantages in living away from home!) Lots of his school friends moved home, either to save money or because they thought they could study better at home, particularly in their final year.

Things have got easier as plenty of lectures are now recorded. The risk then is that your DD will increasingly not bother to go in, especially given the cost of rail fares. You might discuss with her getting a discipline of going into the library regularly.

My DD is in her final year of medical school and is saving money by living in placement accommodation. This weekend she met up with friends, who are doing the same but in different places, by renting an AirBnB in her University town.

So three possible outcomes.

1. That she find friends to share with and decided it is worth paying the extra.
2. That she returns home and commutes. This also provides a fall back if she is someone who really does not enjoy the University experience. (And if so she won't be alone and indeed is more likely to meet her tribe at a London university, plus have the option of retaining any school friends who have stayed local.)
3. She makes good friends and identifies places she can stay for the occasional big night out, or pre exams etc.

More options than many will have.

Thank you! @Needmoresleep @hellohoneypot @user1494050295 all very insightful, I wasn’t sure how common it might be so good to hear it isn’t something unusual.

@PettsWoodParadise DD2 lived at home for her Masters in London, for similar reasons although in DH's case it was a transplant rather than cancer. We're about a 65-minute commute from where she studied. She was lucky in that she could still attend a world-class course at one of the UK's leading universities for her field of study.

Of course slightly different for a Masters as a lot more study and lot less socialising (and no representing university at her main sport)! But it worked out fine. FWIW she would recommend, as several PPs have suggested, living in halls for her first year and then potentially moving home once she is settled and has found 'her tribe'. Good luck to you all.