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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Is a gap year a good idea?

21 replies

TeaWithPaddington · 20/08/2022 06:50

Hi,

My son has a firm offer with Newcastle University to study civil engineering but he has, for the last few months, been getting cold feet about going to university and has said he's not sure if he wants to do civil engineering or even go to university. He is a bit lazy with schoolwork and found the push from school towards the end of his school career a bit much. He thought he'd done worse in his A-levels but came out with AAA.

He has mentioned a gap year a few times over the last few months and I don't know whether to just go with the flow on this one. He has also mentioned apprenticeships as he is 'fed up of studying' - although, I think after a break he'll be fine. He is keen to work abroad in a gap year (for 6 months) and said it's an opportunity he won't get again until retirement. He choose civil engineering due to his strengths at school and not because he is passionate about going into the field. It was almost like he had to choose something. I feel he isn't 100% set on this career.
He has said he'd like to defer the offer from Newcastle University (if he can) and get a part time job for a few months and then go and work in Canada for 6 months. During this time he has said a degree apprenticeship may pop up etc.

I'm worried he'll end up not pursuing a career if he takes a gap year. He's a bright boy but has always been lazy academically. He just seems to be one of those lucky people that gets good grades with little effort. I'm not sure he'd be able to handle university. Maybe it's just me being negative but I'm very proud of his achievements so far - even though we thought he'd get lower grades.

What do you guys think? Is a gap year a good idea and it'll give him more time to consider his options?

OP posts:
Original poster
TeaWithPaddington · 20/08/2022 06:54

I'm also aware student loan repayments will be changing for those starting university next year so he'll pay a lot more. It's a difficult decision!

OP posts:
SnoozyLucy7 · 20/08/2022 07:06

It’s a very good idea.Let him do what he wants to do and not force him into something that he does not want to do, or will deeply regret, so that he can please you and make you happy but, ultimately, not him self. And in any case, you don’t need a university education to get ahead in life. Yes, it’s a wonderful thing but it’s not for everyone. Alternatively, there are so many fantastic apprenticeships out there that lead into great careers long term, he should definitely check some out.

autumn1610 · 20/08/2022 07:40

Definitely let him do a gap year. And 100% get him to explore apprenticeships in fields he maybe interested in. University isn’t the be all and end all of a career. If he feels like he wants to be more hands on I would get him to explore that, there’s no shame in not going. My DP dropped out after 2 years and got an apprenticeship role in accounting and is now a successful accountant and a few exams away from being chartered he learnt on the job and has to sit a few more exams than someone that studied at uni. There’s so much more opportunity but schools want to push kids into uni and it’s not right. Get him to have a pause in education and he will find his feet

KittyMcKitty · 20/08/2022 07:57

My dc has had a gap year this year. It was always his intention even before Covid.

it’s been very beneficial- he’s spent the year working and travelling and after 14 continuous years in education it’s been great to pause and check this is what he definitely wants to do.

Juja · 20/08/2022 08:01

I agree with t he two posters above. Take a gap year - he may well come up with a completely different plan that he’s more committed too- he’s got great grades.

maybe he could also get some work experience with a civil engineering firm to see if he likes it. And exploring degree apprenticeships sounds sensible too.

Engineering is hard work a need v hard work if your not committed- there’s a popular vlogger on YouTube who dithered went to Bath to do engineering and dropped out in the first year - worth watching

RetrainRetrain · 20/08/2022 08:01

Gap years can be great especially if you are unsure. Having said that, I felt the same and, as I didn't have a real plan for what to do, my parents said no. They were right, I'd have drifted for a year and been no been prepared for uni. I did a four-year degree with a year studying abroad and loved it. Most unis allow most degrees to have a placement year or year abroad now so this is definitely not his last chance before retirement!

Juja · 20/08/2022 08:03

PSn he also has a great plan for his gap year- one of mine has en an gap year and the second is just starting one / they grow up lots

AlwaysColdHands · 20/08/2022 08:08

Yes it’s a great idea if he makes clear plans for it.
I see so many students who just roll on into university and struggle, consequently don’t get the best degree they could.
It could also make him more employable if he builds skills and experiences

HelloMrBond · 20/08/2022 08:15

A good idea for him to pause and consider his options. But don’t forget to remind him that he is an adult now, so must fend for himself during his ‘gap year’, all too often I see young people essentially having a free ride which encourages laziness.

MarchingFrogs · 20/08/2022 08:20

One possible fly in the ointment - has Newcastle agreed to him deferring entry, or will he have to withdraw and reapply in the next UCAS cycle?

Another vote here for the gap year, though, especially if he has interesting snd achievable plans for the time

Needmoresleep · 20/08/2022 08:48

A great idea. He can visit friends who are at different University and get a feel for the difference between school and University. Not least that it is so much easier if you have a genuine interest in your subject and actively want to be there. He might change his mind about going, where he goes or what he studies, but if he sticks with current plans there is plenty of advantage in starting with a years work/travel experience and maturity.

Original poster
TeaWithPaddington · 20/08/2022 09:03

Hi,

Thanks for the feedback. I do think it's a good idea but I was worried about him becoming lazy and seeing it as a free year off. I'll chat to him later to discuss plans. He's definitely keen on Canada (we've just returned from a holiday) but I think the summer season would be enough. I'll see about work experience in different fields for him (well, he can look into that). Most places weren't offering work experience last year due to Covid so I feel he hasn't had the chance to explore options.

I will get him to ring Newcastle on Monday.

OP posts:
AceSpades54321 · 20/08/2022 09:31

I had a year off to go travelling, I came back with more drive, energy and focus. Living on the breadline for a year deffo helped me realise I wanted a well paid job!

Needmoresleep · 20/08/2022 09:38

Mine did a ski season (workaseason who supply staff for several ski companies still seem to be able to hire chalet hosts without EU passports, and you could try Crystal) and Camp America. Both hard work and poorly paid but great experiences.

Original poster
TeaWithPaddington · 21/08/2022 14:27

AceSpades54321 · 20/08/2022 09:31

I had a year off to go travelling, I came back with more drive, energy and focus. Living on the breadline for a year deffo helped me realise I wanted a well paid job!

That's a good point!

OP posts:
Original poster
TeaWithPaddington · 21/08/2022 14:29

He definitely has his heart set on Canada and I've found a couple of places that look like they can organise it all for him. I think he is best to spend 6 months here getting work experience in fields that may interest him (and getting a part time job around this, at least) and then the summer season in Canada.

I will get him to phone the university tomorrow with his decision and to ask mid he can defer.

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 21/08/2022 14:32

In the Bronze Age when I was young, my university encouraged everyone to have a gap year. It was noticeable that the girls ( all female college) who had come straight from home and school were much more likely to suffer homesickness, and just be generally less able to manage their finances, time, work schedules and work.

pinklavenders · 21/08/2022 16:07

I'm going against the trend here and advise against a gap year if he's going to study Engineering. Lots of Maths and Physics will be forgotten during that year....

Hawkins001 · 21/08/2022 16:21

TeaWithPaddington · 20/08/2022 06:50

Hi,

My son has a firm offer with Newcastle University to study civil engineering but he has, for the last few months, been getting cold feet about going to university and has said he's not sure if he wants to do civil engineering or even go to university. He is a bit lazy with schoolwork and found the push from school towards the end of his school career a bit much. He thought he'd done worse in his A-levels but came out with AAA.

He has mentioned a gap year a few times over the last few months and I don't know whether to just go with the flow on this one. He has also mentioned apprenticeships as he is 'fed up of studying' - although, I think after a break he'll be fine. He is keen to work abroad in a gap year (for 6 months) and said it's an opportunity he won't get again until retirement. He choose civil engineering due to his strengths at school and not because he is passionate about going into the field. It was almost like he had to choose something. I feel he isn't 100% set on this career.
He has said he'd like to defer the offer from Newcastle University (if he can) and get a part time job for a few months and then go and work in Canada for 6 months. During this time he has said a degree apprenticeship may pop up etc.

I'm worried he'll end up not pursuing a career if he takes a gap year. He's a bright boy but has always been lazy academically. He just seems to be one of those lucky people that gets good grades with little effort. I'm not sure he'd be able to handle university. Maybe it's just me being negative but I'm very proud of his achievements so far - even though we thought he'd get lower grades.

What do you guys think? Is a gap year a good idea and it'll give him more time to consider his options?

From the stories in the papers, it seems it's better to get on a course now, rather than wait.

Luredbyapomegranate · 21/08/2022 21:09

It’s a good idea as long as there’s purpose and structure and he doesn’t spend (all of) it on a beach in Thailand

KangarooKenny · 21/08/2022 21:10

I think it’s a great idea. I’m trying to get one of mine to do this as I really don’t think Uni is for them. Another year to mature will be very helpful to them.

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