I’ve recently finished my Oxford degree, ask me anything!

[Bewitchedx]

Hello everyone!

I wanted to answer any questions that you might have about Oxford University —applications, the actual doing of the degree, student life, etc. The context for this is that I’ve seen a few questions on here of the ‘is an Oxbridge degree worth it?’ ilk.

Try posting in the Ask Me Anything section. I'm sure you will get a lot of interest.

Okay, thank you. I’m new to creating posts on Mumsnet, so apologies for my incompetence 😅

Thank you!
How can I as a "working class" woman do the best for my children to ensure they get a fighting chance at Oxford/Cambridge etc. (Assuming that's what they want of course!)

(FYI They are 4 and 2yo. Eldest was reading fluently before starting nursery and enjoys times tables(!) as well as doing all the normal things any 4yo enjoys!)

Hi Jasmin,

I’m also from a working class/lower middle class-type background (how does one even classify oneself these days? 😅). My main advice would be giving them lots of exposure to educational experiences, cultivating a life-long love of reading, etc. And then if you’re forced to send you children to the local rough comprehensive (as I endured), invest in outside support (tutors, the right study books, etc.).

I met many people from Eton and Westminster, etc. and (from my perspective) they had no real advantage over the comprehensive or grammar-school kids; however, what they had in bucketfuls was confidence.

Thank you ❤️
Agreed about classifying people! 🤣
Can you give examples of educational experiences please.
I agree about the confidence thing. It's just the way they carry themselves (speak/walk/breathe even!) isn't it! Did you ever feel bullied or belittled by them at uni?

I think another reason why I am keen to know is because I was quite a smart kid growing up, if I do say so myself lol, but coming from a financially struggling family and at times toxic I couldn't even dream of trying! I really don't want my children to grow up thinking this way ❤️

Yeah, encouragement is everything! My mum always had (unhealthily) high expectations, and I think my dad by contrast was a bit sceptical about my chances of getting in! I think a balance would have been great - “try your hardest to get in, you’ve got an excellent chance, but have contingency plans and don’t lay all your hopes on it”.

As for the bullying thing, no! I became good friends with a boy from Eton. However, I have to admit, there was a cliqueiness in the first year whereby the private school people aggregated together, and the opening question that I got in Freshers’ week was ‘which school did you go to?’ 🙈

I'll do my best to be something in between your mum and dad then 🤣
And many congratulations, you should be so proud of your achievements 👏🏽 ❤️

Following with interest. And congratulations!

DD , state school is thinking about Geography. She is looking at colleges, likes the idea of Hogwarts but has already been warned off Christ.
Any college choice DOS and don'ts?

Can I jump in here? A study looking into what best enabled working class children to get into Oxbridge showed that early exposure made them massively more likely to feel they belonged there. So if you can, take them on day trips to Oxford and Cambridge and show them the colleges and libraries. Discuss what they might do if they want to apply (Read a lot of books and ask a lot of questions about the subject that interests them most.)

If you can't afford day trips, contact The Brilliant Club and ask them to come to your DC's primary to inspire them, once your DC are about 7 years old. Contact them anyway when the time is right and encourage your school to forge a relationship with them. Look into what G&T enrichment there is at your school too.

By early exposure, I mean primary level not secondary. Though early secondary is also helpful.

I didn't realise Hogwarts were taking applications 🤣

OP - how did you find the support once you were there? Access to libraries and material etc as I'm guessing you've studied through covid?

@Bewitchedx Thank you for this thread.

What did you study at Oxford?

If you had your time again, would you still choose Oxford?

What do you think of Oxford's WP foundation year initiative?

I wouldn’t put too much effort into college choices to be honest because you might be placed somewhere else anyway — so just choose the one that you like the sound of. Some colleges do have more liberal reputations - eg. LMH, Wadham, etc. I went to New College which definitely had more of a ‘public school’ atmosphere.

The pastoral support was brilliant, to be honest. I can’t fault my tutors or the pastoral team at New College who supported me incredibly well when I had mental health problems. And the academic support is obviously second to none - you can supplement the core teaching with extra classes, etc. if you want. Access to library materials during Covid didn’t pose a problem because most things were uploaded onto the library platform.

The only point at which the support was pretty poor was when I was on my year abroad (I did a modern languages degree) and everyone was left to their own devices, with varying results 😂.

Did you ever get your quant pole stuck in mud and end up sliding down it into the river whilst punting?

DD is looking to apply to Cambridge for HSPS but has only recently looked to apply for it. Do you have any advice to applicants and when did you start exploring your subject beyond the classroom?

How hard is it to get a BA in Humble Brag Studies?

Did you love it?

Did you have lots of fun whilst there?

Have you landed an awesome job since finishing?

Much harder than it is to get a joint honours in snide and bitchy.

Fuck being humble, I was so freaking proud when I graduated and it wasn’t from Oxford! Well done OP, and good on you for offering advice to others.

Do you genuinely feel better for writing that?

Oxbridge feels out of reach for many students even if they are incredibly able academically.

Having some first hand, real life and actionable advice for parents of those students is useful and empowering.

Life's short, don't be a dick.

Thank you @Bewitchedx for starting this thread, I can't talk to friends about a possible Oxford application at the moment because their kids are currently on bumpy paths. Asking them about colleges and the work load pressure would go badly!

Do you ever wish you'd taken a less pressurised but still hard work Russell group course.

@CaptionChaos I did wish that frequently during the height of Finals, and a part of me still wishes I’d done a vocational course at a less “intense” university. However, I think I’d always regret not having gone, because it was a truly amazing experience and really does allow for academic blossoming.

It is also worth saying that I did find the workload fairly manageable for the most part, and you become a more efficient and effective worker as time goes on.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Major confession: I’ve never been punting 🙀