So they're back, with all their stuff! What do you do?

[WonderWine]

Long day yesterday, 350 mile round trip picking up DS from uni. Turned up at lunchtime to find he wasn't quite as 'all packed up' as we'd hoped and spent four hours packing, cleaning & clearing. Was touch and go as to whether we'd get it all in the car + roofbox (thank goodness I'd taken the vacuum bags for bedding etc!)

And this morning DH & I have unpacked it all into the hall (DS still 😴) as we need the car and we're looking at it thinking 'what do we/DS do with all this stuff'?

On one hand, I want DS to deal with it - washing, sorting, putting away (where?) but then I know it's going to take AGES and much nagging.

Do you get involved? Does stuff get sucked back into the home, or just piled up somewhere waiting to be taken back again in September?

In my 2nd year I was abroad. House was furnished thankfully but minimal clothes/personal items/duvet cover/towel. It was amazing to live so clutter free tbh.

DD is staying at uni this summer to work, so no stuff here. It actually makes me very sad.

It would be daft to unpack and absorb back into the cupboards / kitchen etc all the stuff he’s going to need to take back next September. Why on earth wouldn’t it just go in boxes in the garage (or his room if it might get damaged in the garage eg soft bedding if your garage is damp or spidery). Then it’s all ready for next year. You should make him do the carrying etc but if you can make space in the garage then do that.

sounds like the justifiable annoyance at having to help him pack up and clean and make your journey delayed, is colouring the (imho) unjustified annoyance at him having stuff he’s had to bring home. What else was he supposed to do with it if his accommodation is only for term time?

Weve still got stuff in the garage when our lot went to uni, this was 5 years ago 😂I wish we had just taken all of the shit to the tip!

My tips -

Get them to pack as 2 completely separate lots, stuff to be stored and stuff to be used over the summer.

Use IKEA blue bags. Lidded boxes for crockery ( plastic glasses & crocks are easier)

If they're not packed, go for a coffee until they are (I only did that once - student was much more focused on subsequent pickups, and I didn't really mind helping)

Have them pay the accommodation deposit from their own money - then they have an incentive to organise their cleaning.

The minute they get home, get them to wash bedding & towels and bag up again, ready for next term.

We put the uni stuff in loft, under beds, anywhere it fitted basically. Everything else in their room. Whether it's tidy or their clothes washed - that's down to them.

I don't think I'm as annoyed as people think - more interested in what other people do when faced with such a mountain of stuff!

He HAD packed a lot of stuff by the time we arrived, but was also waiting for us to arrive with some of the bigger storage bags for things and it turned out to be quite a trek between his flat and where the car was parked. (No trolleys!)

When I said about 'absorbing stuff into the house' I really meant foodstuff - oils, sauces, herbs, tea, coffee, sugar etc. I've said we will replace with a food delivery at his new house in September.

Will be interesting to see whether he gets billed by the accommodation office after room inspections. His room was left generally clean and tidy, and we emptied a bin and checked the parts of the kitchen he'd already cleaned as part of his flat's agreement. Interesting to see some of the other parents, including one mother who was refusing to let her daughter empty the other (smelly!) bin as "it was a man's job" .
Another flatmate who'd already left had left a pile of broken junk in the corridor, with apparently no intention of collecting/ disposal!

Neither DS or I can remember if we paid a deposit for halls, I have told him to bear in mind we may have when he locks up for the last time.

My daughter moved out of halls last month and will collect keys for shared house end of July.
She’s sharing a small storage unit in Uni town with a friend for anything she doesn’t need over summer & brought the rest back in a rucksack on the train.
Her bedroom at home is small and we don’t have an attic or garage so easier all round.
Her Uni is 250 miles away so train & storage works out cheaper than petrol and overnight hotel to collect her.
She definitely wouldn’t expect me to be sorting any of her things out but I’d stick her washing on with ours.

You can get storage companies in student towns to collect boxes from the students room and keep over the summer then deliver it back to them at the start of the next term. I'd do that next time.

I’ve done his washing. Everything else is in the shed. His clothes are knee high in his bedroom. I guess they’ll stay there until he stops being so lazy and puts them away

DD is at uni abroad so put everything she doesn’t need over the summer in storage and managed to get everything else home via bus and plane. She dealt with overstuffed suitcases breaking herself.
Her room does look a mess but I just close the door.

My two went to uni at the same time and I remember well the hell of driving hundreds of miles on my own to pick them at the end of the year.
Despite warnings of 'make sure you're packed and ready to go' they never were.
They have both gone off to the world of work now, but in my garage and attic I still have extra duvets and mattress protectors, pots and pans etc.

We put clean bedding/towels in the vacuum packs and put in the loft, kitchen stuff went in the garage and it's still there as this year his kitchen is equipped! We still have stuff in the garage from the eldest who left uni 7 years ago and has their own house 🤦‍♀️

He can sort himself. DD currently on a year abroad and everything is here. Lots of stuff is in her room, we're borrowing a couple of useful kitchen items so they're in kitchen (on worktop as no where else!) and her quilt, bedding and towels are squashed into our storage box or in the eaves (we're in a dormer bungalow with no attic).

Get him to pack it in boxes so it can be stacked higher and take less floor space.

We told dd what space was available for her stuff. She packed small enough, helped unload the car. And then stayed overnight and buggered off to America for the summer. I have offered to try not to kill her plants.

I have over the years bought 20 x 50 litre plastic boxes which nest when empty and stack when filled and lids put on. Recent summers have involved several stacks of these in bedrooms! Last year ds used a storage facility as he was only home for 6 weeks so it really wasn't worth bringing everything back. Currently have three or four of these boxes in the shed as dd2 has things stashed for when she eventually moves out, and we bought everything for dd3 last year but she came home after a term so it's waiting to go with her again this year. With 4 kids, it has been a bigger consideration than I ever imagined.