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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Nobody in flat on similar course?

48 replies

Confuzzlediddled · 03/06/2022 09:37

My daughter has been sent the list of people who will be in the same flat as her (private halls there aren't any university halls) everyone else is doing engineering, and in the WhatsApp group they've set up they're discussing how hard A level maths and further maths is, great so far...

Except my daughter is doing musical theatre!! Has anyone else's child been in a similar situation? Was it ok? I'm worried she'll have nothing in common with any of them!

To add to my worries, 5 of the 7 are doing a degree apprenticeship so will have a wage and be considerably richer than your average student dependent on loans and a bit of money from us, so I've already said not to get sucked into thinking she needs to keep up with spending.

OP posts:
spotcheck · 03/06/2022 09:40

Tell her to get in touch with the Res admin to see if she can swap. It is a valid reason to change

SandyIrvine · 03/06/2022 10:54

Family friend who was studying acting was in similar situation in first year in London (although not the apprenticeships) and it worked out well. She liked the normality and break from her course mates. Plus engineering boys were lovely. Bought tickets for all her performances however whack and she got lots of party invites as they were short of women.

Regretted not staying with them after 1st years. Stayed with course mates two of whom had severe eating disorders.

Comefromaway · 03/06/2022 11:00

My dd was in a similar situation. In a flat with the others studying animal behaviour/zoology type courses. It started off ok but large parts of their course were online with recorded lectures whereas she had to be up and out fir 9am ballet class so they partied at night and disturbed her. Then when she had to go online during the 2nd lockdown they refused to allow her to do online singing classes.

however when they moved out on placement a lovely girl from another course moved in and they became great friends.

ifonly4 · 03/06/2022 21:45

Other than the odd coffee, DD hasn't made any friends on her course. Luckily on a group chat to check stuff out with. However, she has an amazing amount of friends and more often than not has more than one choice for an evening out, so doesn't matter she hasn't got any many friends on her course. She's in year three now.

RampantIvy · 03/06/2022 22:48

None of DD's flatmates in her halls were on her course either but it didn't stop her from making friends.

Four from her flat made friends with four from the flat opposite, and one of the girls was on her course. They all ended up sharing for year 2 then split down for year three as some had years abroad planned.

FieryPitOfMordor · 03/06/2022 22:52

Honestly, I’d see if I could change. I had a very similar issue in my first year at university and it was an absolute nightmare - flatmates took against me instantly (before they’d really spoken to me) as they assumed I was a certain “type” that would interfere with their far more important courses (in their view, anyway!)

Scoobyblue · 04/06/2022 09:35

Obviously from the previous posts, it could go either way but just to add my experience....my dd is doing a STEM subject. While she has made friends on her course, her closest friends that she chose to live with after first year all study English.

TizerorFizz · 04/06/2022 13:26

@Confuzzlediddled
I didn’t think people who are employed could get a hall of residence. They are part time students with a salary. They are also all doing engineering so she’s the odd one out. I would definitely ask to move. I’m amazed universities have space to offer halls to employees. They are not eligible for loans. So speak to the accommodations office and move. Is this a private hall?

VanCleefArpels · 04/06/2022 13:32

If you think about it a random allocation of accommodation would be statistically unlikely to throw together people in the same kind of course. It’s not at all unusual. DD’s first year flat had law, film studies, maths, psychology, geography and some other science subject as I recall. It was all fine and several of them continued to live together for the remaining 2 years.

Lds1 · 04/06/2022 13:35

My flatmates being on a different course wasn't the issue, it was the fact there was no shared interests with them. I'd have liked that to have been taken into consideration rather than what we were studying for.

RampantIvy · 04/06/2022 13:36

That was the same for DD @VanCleefArpels. In DD's flat there were 2 medical students, one chemical engineering student, one biomedical sciences student, one languages student, one business and marketing student, one town planning student and one other but I can't remember what they were studying.

TizerorFizz · 04/06/2022 14:32

@VanCleefArpels @RampantIvy

The OP has said the other students are ALL doing engineering. That is not random. Of course university halls throw different subjects together but these are all
the same. Plus it’s a private hall, so who allocated the rooms? There is no university accommodation so it looks to me that the DD is there to make up the numbers. We all accept students will be on a mix of courses but engineering and one doing musical theatre is bizarre. They really won’t have much in common I would think.

Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:08

DD was allocated that flat first, along with one other who is also doing engineering, albeit a different type and he is also a 'normal' student, when she firmed her place a few weeks ago. I have a feeling they were all told they had a place on their apprenticeship at roughly the same time and so it was just a case of them applying for the accommodation at the same time so the first 5 were allocated to flat no xx, then they will have moved onto filling the next flat. They've been talking on WhatsApp and she says all they have spoken about so far is how much they can lift in the gym - she's more a Zumba and treadmill person and the closest she has come to lifting weights is little kettle bell ones that she's used in fitness classes! It was also interesting seeing in their conversation that they all thought the accomodation was cheap, whereas we thought it was expensive but that could be a north/south thing!

She doesn't seem worried but I am, she's young for her age anyway and moving 5 hours away, and im worried she will be the 'odd one out' in the flat, after all how many aeronautical engineers are interested in musical theatre which is her obsession?!

To add to the complication she's a twin so it's already a huge thing for her being separated from ds, I'm trying not to be an interfering mum though...

OP posts:
Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:14

Something that's just dawned on me too, does anyone know if the fact 5 of them in a 7 roomed flat in private halls would cause an issue with council tax? As obviously that wasn't even something we considered...

OP posts:
wonkylegs · 04/06/2022 15:19

There was nobody in my block on a similar course let alone my flat. It worked out fine because my course had a lot of group type work & long hours so I bonded well with those on my course (architecture) and I also had my flat friends. They fell out with each other much more than me because they spent more time with each other than with those on their courses which were traditional lectures however we did all hang out sometimes. I just had a wider group of friends which suited me well.
I lived with friends from outside the flat in years 2,3,4 & 5
I suspect musical theatre is like architecture and you form good friendship groups via the course so it matters less who you live with.

wonkylegs · 04/06/2022 15:21

@Confuzzlediddled student halls of residence are automatically exempt from council tax

Comefromaway · 04/06/2022 15:22

are the others full time students? Usually private halls only accept full time students because of council tax.

Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:24

They are full time students as far as I know but getting a wage as they are on degree apprenticeships. Admittedly I don't know much about degree apprenticeships!

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Chickoletta · 04/06/2022 15:30

I studied Music and Eng Lit at university and loved living with scientists. The one other musician I lived with in the 1st yr was super competitive with me - to the extent that if I were singing to myself in the kitchen, she would come in and sing louder/better!

I had lots of friends on the Music course but was berry happy to come home to people with different interests.

madasawethen · 04/06/2022 15:34

I'd be more concerned about her doing a degree in musical theater more than who she rooms with.

Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:36

@madasawethen not academic enough for you? Not your child so nothing to do with you, I'm immensely proud of her regardless of your ridiculous attitude

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Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:37

Oh and it's Musical Theatre, not theater - so you may want to get down from that high horse

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swanfake · 04/06/2022 15:38

I had this at uni. I was doing a pretty intensive science/medical based degree. In uni everyday 9-6 and then coursework etc on top. The rest were doing English literature so whilst they had a lot of reading to do, they barely ever had lectures in comparison to me.

They would party late when I had to be up early. Arrange days out in the park whilst I was at lectures etc. So we just didn't bond and I eventually got pissed off with the flat essentially running to a schedule to suit them. I wasn't taken into consideration at all so late night parties at the flat would happen with no concern that I had an exam the next morning etc.

Second year I lived with a load of science based degree students. Much better fit.

Original poster
Confuzzlediddled · 04/06/2022 15:39

@swanfake that would definitely be a worry, her course is a lot of contact hours so at least they will all have that issue and need sleep!

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 04/06/2022 15:44

I was in your daughter's boat. My first year I was assigned a random jumble of people who I became friends with but due to a random mix of circumstances were not staying in the student complex the following year.

The second year I was randomly assigned a house where everyone else was doing the same course. We chose to share for the next 3 years (one year post grad). The fact that I was doing a different course matter little to me. There was one night a week in third year that I was finished an couple of hours later than me and they tended to keep a dinner for me as they would have eaten earlier due to lecture timing. The very odd time they might discuss something that happened in a lecture but equally I would do the same.