I’m not really sure where to start.
My DS has decided to repeat his second year, because he hasn’t done well in (a) module(s).
He decided this in February. When discussing it with me he says that he feels he could do better and this is the best option. I have suggested he speaks to university to see what his options are. Having spoken to them they said they couldn’t tell him if he would need to retake the year because they can’t tell as all scores haven’t come in. It was suggested that he resits failed modules over the summer. But continues the course for the rest of the year
Anyway, fast forward two months, we felt something wasn’t quite right. So we made a concerted effort to get him to get up and go into university and attend in person to check his student account online to ensure that he had regular attendance and was handing in his assignments. Which is where I discovered they had locked him out of his account because fees haven’t been paid.
He said he had paid when he enrolled. When we checked his emails he has been getting countless emails from the finance department, the last one from 28 March threatening with him being referred to debt collectors. What I can’t understand is if he has not paid why was nothing flagged when he went into the university building? Anyway, turns out he thought when he enrolled that was all he had to do to obtain student finance. Did I mention this was his second year, so not his first time applying for finance? Anyhoo, he was within the 9 month window to apply for this year (just).
So after that was sorted and we made a plan for today. I.e confirm the situation with the finance department, we had a discussion. He has chosen not to do any work because he intends to retake the year, rather than any summer resits. His uni allows this, but it’s not clear whether the scoring will put him in the better position he imagines. It turns out he has got a group assignment due next week that he hasn’t done anything for. When I said why not it’s because he intends to repeat the year. When I asked if he told the group, he said yes - but who knows.
Getting anything clear out of him makes no sense. He’s now saying he doesn’t like the course, why? Because it’s gotten hard. Well, yeah doh! But that’s his MO, when things get hard slack off or drop it all together, guitar, piano, tennis education. He feels passionate about nothing, nothing makes him happy, or sad, he feels nothing. All he consistently does do is game. If you’ve seen any of my previous posts, you will know DH and I believe DS has an addiction. We’ve tried getting help twice, he has not engaged twice. When I accused him of being scared, the one thing he came back with is that he wasn’t scared, but that he does need to speak to someone.
Of course I’m a fixer so I find myself looking for solutions. Last night was the first time he asked for help. He never asks for help. I see at the uni he has access to counsellors and I’m not sure why he can’t get the help himself. But I’m confused about his practical options. If he doesn’t like the course, why would he repeat the year? It’s a university are there any other courses that interest him? If he doesn’t go back, what other things could he try? Apprenticeships? Take a year out “to find himself”? He’s privileged to have options, but the main option is not part time working and playing games all night.
okay I’ve written it all down, but I’m not sure if I’m even posting in the right section. I guess the first thing to get sorted is some kind of counsellor. I feel like my head is going to explode. I’m supposed to be studying as now is my time for a career switch, but I hate my new job, studying and now this. I don’t mind giving it all up for my kids, but……ffs. I knew life was going too well.