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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

What if we can't afford to support DC?

182 replies

pinkpip100 · 18/04/2022 16:10

Oldest DC is in year 12 and plans to go to university in Sept 2023. I've been looking into student finance and according to the calculator they will get a loan to pay fees in full, but only the minimum maintenance loan, due to our household income. We have 3 other dc, and it is likely that DC1 & DC2 will overlap at uni for at least a year (and subsequently DC2 & DC3 too). I understand that we are expected to support them financially, and assume this will mean topping up from the minimum maintenance loan to the maximum amount.
My worry is that we will massively struggle to pay this for 1 DC, let alone for 2 at a time. We have no money left at the end of each month, no savings. Youngest DC is disabled so I have always ended up in low paid part-time jobs which offer flexibility to look after them when needed. As a result we have built up a lot of debt over the years - and just making minimum payments for this wipes out a huge chunk of our combined income. I am just about to start a better paid job which will increase our income, but paying off the debt will obviously take a long time. Our household income for 21-22 will therefore appear pretty high on paper - hence DC1 only getting minimum loan amount - but definitely isn't reflective of how much expendable income we have.
I suppose my question is - does any of this (number of dependents, sibling with a disability, level of debt repayments vs household income) get taken into account when applying for a maintenance loan? Are there any other student finance options? Has anyone else been in a similar position? I realise we've been totally naive but I assumed DC would be able to get full loan amounts for fees and maintenance, so had envisaged just topping up what we could afford.

OP posts:
AccessNoAreas · 19/04/2022 19:46

OP we're in a similar situation in the sense that our income looks good on paper but we were drowning in debt. We have just had a debt management plan put in place by Stepchange which has helped a lot but we are still way short of topping up the loan.

Our DS hasn't had a job mainly because of the situation this past two years. He's worked really hard to get good grades. We've said he'll need to get a job once he finishes school - I'm hoping he can save up at least a grand before the start of his 1st term. And then he'll need to work while he's studying. He also needs a laptop so we're looking round the house for stuff to sell

He's going to Uni in one of the more expensive cities mentioned upthread. We never wanted to restrict his options by making him stay at home. Both my DH and I went away to Uni and think that's one of the main reasons for going to Uni - changing your environment, growing up etc ..

I suppose we should have rethought this and had a plan B. But we've never been good with money, and I've had extended periods of unemployment for various reasons - hence our having to get a Debt management plan. My DS is going to do a similar subject to your DS OP. We're hoping he's going to be more financially savvy than his parents!

gunnersgold · 19/04/2022 19:51

I think it's very unfair , we are the same and can afford to support dd but as is obvious here lots can't . The threshold is very low if you are paying mortgage and potentially schools fees or even just high living costs !

chesirecat99 · 19/04/2022 20:22

School fees?!! The cheapest school fees are less than the maximum parental contribution to the maintenance loan. If you can afford to educate your DC privately, you should be able to afford (and have budgeted) to support them at university. I don't think school fees (which are a luxury) should be taken into account except in exceptional circumstances where parents are receiving a bursary to send a sibling to private school because the state sector can't cater to their needs eg learning difficulties, disabilities, specialist provision (such as a dance or music school), they need to board because the parents are in the military/overseas, or they are from a low income family and have been awarded a scholarship for exceptional abilities.

Orangesandlemons77 · 19/04/2022 20:27

It almost feels like the income part was decided a few years ago and in the meantime prices have shot up, wages have risen...seems like it needs adjusted really

WhereWasThatFrom · 19/04/2022 21:12

I was amazed at how cheaply my kids lived at Uni. They weren't skint but had plenty of friends that were.

It's a shame you don't think your son would get a part time job. If he started soon and worked through the holidays he could save thousands. The summer holidays between school and starting Uni is really long. Even if you were working a minimum wage job you would be able to save a lot.
Depends where you live but my kids have never had a problem finding jobs.

One of my kids applied to the big four accountancy firms and despite never having done any internships or relevant work experience she still got to the partner interview stage with two of the companies. She has solid but not outstanding academics. She referred to her coffee shop jobs in her application and in her interviews and was specifically told that it was appreciated by the interviewers. I'm sure it would also been good if she had done relevant internships but she didn't feel that she was disadvantaged in any way by 'only' having had minimum wage type jobs. She managed to save thousands of pounds and that's without having a gap year.

yogabbagabba134 · 19/04/2022 21:48

@WhereWasThatFrom
Congrats on ur DD for getting that far. I'm confused what you mean when you talk about her applications to the big4. Was that for grad jobs or for a school leavers program?

TizerorFizz · 19/04/2022 23:19

@WhereWasThatFrom
The OP’s DS barely comes out of his room and was turned down by McDonalds. He’s not sociable. He needs the coffee shop job not the big four accountancy grad job but his sen gets in the way. Of course a holiday job would be a start.

Lucienandjean · 19/04/2022 23:28

Just to say I think you should have a serious conversation about all this with dc2 as well, as you've said they'll overlap at uni. Is it a possibility for dc2 to have a gap year before uni, both to earn some money and so they don't overlap with dc1? Just a thought.

TizerorFizz · 19/04/2022 23:43

The op is open to a whole family discussion. There are 4 DC and no spare money. House size (bedrooms), university, money, work etc are all requiring discussion.

cheninblanc · 20/04/2022 13:48

My dd is staying home, she can commute into London easily using the lowest maintenance loan available and work alongside that too. We are happy with that and as a contribution to the house she will pay her own phone bill and provide and cook a meal for the family one night a week

Original poster
pinkpip100 · 21/04/2022 10:59

Thanks @TizerorFizz - yes family conversations about all of those things have now started (covering it all one big serious sit down conversation just wouldn't work for DS1). We haven't given up hope of him getting a holiday/weekend job, just hoping he can find something that is manageable.

Sorry to hear others are in a similar boat, though @AccessNoAreas glad you are managing to see some light at the end of the tunnel in terms of managing debts.

And definitely no school fees being paid here!

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 21/04/2022 11:26

hockeygrass · 18/04/2022 16:18

You can ask your dc to take a gap year and work during this time to build up savings.
See the Facebook page WIWIKAU as this topic is covered a lot.

This. Sorry, but nobody has a right to go to university, and nobody should assume their parents are going to pay for them.

I got as much as I could from SFE and then worked during my degree for living expenses.

They're adults.

JaninaDuszejko · 21/04/2022 12:54

Imperial also has very generous bursaries for students with a household income of less than £60k. Not that that helps OP's DS if he wants study PPE but maybe it helps someone else.

It doesn't help the OP because their household income is over £60K (she said her son will only get the minimal loan). They have a high household income (at least double the average) and yet they they have built up big debts that she admits they have been burying their heads in the sand about. I think it's deeply unfair that her son may have to change his perfectly reasonable plans because of his parent's fecklessness. The OP and her DH needs to sort out their debts, and work out where they can reduce their expenditure now.

Calculathor · 21/04/2022 13:08

Might be worth looking at universities abroad for your next DC? Not easy, but possible. Some foreign countries still charge very little, even to students from the UK, and living costs may be lower too.

Enko · 21/04/2022 13:14

We have 2 currently overlapping in uni. And had. 2. 2 years ago too overlapping. Also o. Mininum loans. They work its as simple as that. Or they could not afford it.

Ds works. (Year 2) At taco Bell.

Dd2 (year 3) works for a family minding their primary age children. 4 days a week.

They have needed some support from us. And we stock them up with food and basics. Every now and then I stick in £30 to their account with an order to spend it on something good. However it has been tight and difficult and I got to admit I am relieved. Dd3. Does not want to go to uni right now and is going a different route as it has been a difficult time.

TizerorFizz · 21/04/2022 16:46

@pinkpip100

I do think it’s disappointing when posters trot out that DC are adults so tough! They may not have rights but they have reasonable expectations. I hope discussions progress well.

Its always difficult when expenditure exceeds income. Lots of families struggle on what appears to be good money for all sorts of reasons.

Original poster
pinkpip100 · 21/04/2022 17:42

Thanks again @TizerorFizz.
There have been a couple of not so helpful posts here after what has been a very helpful thread, but I really appreciate the suggestions and we'll definitely be putting some of these into action asap.

OP posts:
gogohm · 21/04/2022 17:46

Sorry no, though you can ask for a reassessment if your income is lower in the year they are due to start than the assessment year. We started saving from birth to cover the costs, living costs have always been subject to parental income well were in the 90's when I went. I have 2 at university, dp has one ... yes 3 at once all technically residents with us and we get no allowance for having 3

chesirecat99 · 21/04/2022 17:47

JaninaDuszejko · 21/04/2022 12:54

Imperial also has very generous bursaries for students with a household income of less than £60k. Not that that helps OP's DS if he wants study PPE but maybe it helps someone else.

It doesn't help the OP because their household income is over £60K (she said her son will only get the minimal loan). They have a high household income (at least double the average) and yet they they have built up big debts that she admits they have been burying their heads in the sand about. I think it's deeply unfair that her son may have to change his perfectly reasonable plans because of his parent's fecklessness. The OP and her DH needs to sort out their debts, and work out where they can reduce their expenditure now.

As I said, maybe it will help someone else on the thread... Hmm

It's possible to run up big debts without being feckless, you know.

gogohm · 21/04/2022 17:52

One of my DD's has 2 bursaries, she needs no help, the other can't even work due to disability but I'm trying to help her get benefits

Original poster
pinkpip100 · 21/04/2022 18:06

@gogohm that sounds really tough for your dd, hope you can get her the help she needs.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkpip100 · 21/04/2022 18:06

Thanks @chesirecat99

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 21/04/2022 18:15

Just a thought having had a DMP in the past for debt, you can update them and say your income and expenditure has changed and then they could take into account any payments you make...would mean paying less debt so for longer though. But I think you could possibly ask them about that and get it taken into consideration.

WhereWasThatFrom · 21/04/2022 18:38

[quote yogabbagabba134]@WhereWasThatFrom
Congrats on ur DD for getting that far. I'm confused what you mean when you talk about her applications to the big4. Was that for grad jobs or for a school leavers program?[/quote]Grad jobs

WhereWasThatFrom · 21/04/2022 18:42

[quote TizerorFizz]@WhereWasThatFrom
The OP’s DS barely comes out of his room and was turned down by McDonalds. He’s not sociable. He needs the coffee shop job not the big four accountancy grad job but his sen gets in the way. Of course a holiday job would be a start.[/quote]I saw that the OPs son struggles to come out his room and I wasn't meaning to suggest a coffee shop job just that ANY job would be good. One of my kids did a data entry job over the summer before going to university. It was well paid probably because it was painfully boring, I'm sure it was still of some value when it came to applying for jobs.