Dd dropping out of med school

[Monica53]

Hi
On back of recent post - discussion with add , she’s speaking to well-being and friend who is a med student, she seems definitely to be edging towards leaving and taking a year out . Her health has been effected and Covid years haven’t helped motivation in any shape. She plans with help of Uni to look at alternative courses near home though work for a year first. Looking at employment options. Any advice would be so appreciated and helpful as per my last post . #Bekind

I remember your previous threads.

Would it not make sense to ask the unversity to allow her to take a year out from her studies to give her time to research other options and seek treatment for her mental health so she can make decision when she is in a stronger place?

I seem to remember she has been unhappy with the university from day 1 so it may well be that she doesn't want to return but I don't think she has anything to lose by keeping that option open. It might be difficult to get a place at another med school if she leaves but decides she does love medicine, it was the university that was the issue for her. It would also be a lot easier in terms of finance if she stayed. Not that that is a good reason to continue, I just mean it would be a shame if she closed that door then changed her mind.

Sorry I don't know the back story, but a friend's dd dropped out in 3rd year and they awarded her a BSc in biomedical science.

Could she ask about transferring to another uni, one closer to home? Seem to remember she has anxiety and didn’t like her flat mates. Would she be better off living at home and a local uni?

Sounds like she needs to regroup and build her confidence back up.
What sot of work would she enjoy/ be good at? Would she like to work in a care/ health settling? Or retail/ hosp for a while?
She is young, many options and different paths ahead.worth checking if she can continue to access the uni careers service when she’s ready.
She is being brave to step back.i

I really recommend you discuss this with DD's university tutor before she takes any steps.

The day I got so worried I rang my child's university tutor (total stranger) their first words were "I was just about to ring YOU ". They could not have been kinder, more sympathetic or more helpful. (to me and DS).

Hi, Monica -

I think you have always prioritised her MH and I think that is still the most important thing.

From the perspective of her next application, it is fine if she needs to rest and regroup for a month or so. Then it is best if she is able to start doing something - employment, volunteer work, travel, a serious hobby, whatever. She will need to show she is robust enough to cope with the pressures of uni life, and that she has put some thought into figuring out what she wants to do.

TBH - and I think you already agree, but I don't know whether she does - if her MH is such that she needs longer to sort it, she should definitely take that time now rather than risk a repeat crisis. She will need to disclose prior uni experience on the next UCAS application so demonstrating health is important. But again, this kind of thing happens all the time so as long as she can do that she should not feel self conscious or worry. Best wishes

Might she want to do an in-calculated degree? I DONT KNOW if this is a viable suggestion of not. One of my kids one in year 3 or 4 of their medical degree as did many on their course. My kid found the year very relaxing. They chose a subject they found easy. They got a masters degree out of it and enjoyed having a year off the hard study. In some ways it might be better than a complete break as your DD would still feel they were doing something positive. If they still decide to quit afterwards then they would still have an additional qualification. Maybe they could do it at a Uni close to home.

My DD knew a few kids who quit completely, they've all gone on to do other things. Ones a teacher and couldn't be happier.

It's surprising that more kids don't drop out tbh.

Sorry for typos

May I just respond to a couple of suggestions here?

1. Medical schools are very reluctant to accept transfers from other medical schools, and many make blanket statements that they will not accept them under any circumstances. If she does want to continue with medicine she needs to sort things out with the medical school she's at.

1. An intercalated degree might just be kicking the can further down the road. First, she will have to pass the medicine year before the intercalated year; secondly, she's almost certainly missed the deadline to intercalate in 2022-23; thirdly, some medical schools have a minimum academic standrad for intercalation and/or interview to make sure the student's medical studies and career will actually benefit from intercalating.

1. Leaving with a non-medicine degree requires you to have passed the first three years of the medicine course.

If her issues might be temporary the best option is likely to be exploring the possibility of taking a leave of absence with the intention of either returning to medicine this September or next, or making the decision to follow a different path.

Remember, also, that once you drop out of medicine it is almost impossible to get in again.

It is a very difficult decision, and one that most students in this position need time to consider properly. There is too much pressure while you're actually studying on the course to make reasoned, dispassionate judgements about the best course of action. But continuing to subject yourself to that kind of pressure just because of the perceived status of medicine is potentially harmful.

In the end, whatever she does should be done in discussion with her medical school/university. Going through a managed withdrawal is much better than just dropping out, expecially when it comes to applying for another university course. She needs formal records of what credits she has earned and how she can certificate or transfer these.

Hi everyone
Thankyou for replies - much appreciated. Dd is seeing well-being and getting guidance from Uni. She called me today upset as doesn’t feel she can even try to continue. Her thoughts are to check local universities nearer home for totally different degree. She is aware that most Uni don’t allow transfer for medical degrees. She feels it’s been a huge combination of things - covid/family bereavement. It’s a shame for her. She has a rough plan: working in summer for youth group and looking to take a year to gather her thoughts/recharge and then decide. I do think Uni offers support when she decides. We’ve suggested she contacts careers and gain as much advice/support from well-being/med school

FYI, everyone - IIRC @Monica53 had given us the impression that changing paths was her DD's intention in her previous thread. My post was predicated on that. The advice from @NoNotHimTheOtherOne about planning interruptions to Medical School very carefully is important! But it is worth repeating that as Admissions Tutors in a good Russell Group STEM School we were usually delighted with the quality of applications from former medical students.

@poetryandwine Thankyou for your input on this post and previous. It is unfortunate and we’re sad for our Dd , though MH and heath in general is incredibly important. I believe a year out will do her good and then apply to another Uni near home. Just need to gather information 😊

Sensible choice from what I remember of your previous thread. I'd suggest looking for an alternative healthcare career - not sure what as I have no healthcare knowledge. But I agree medicine doesn't sound like it's for her and I'm glad she's come to that decision herself rather than resit yet another year. Just make sure the SLC are informed as she's already used up most of her entitlement and she'll need evidence of MH difficulties in order to be able to access funding to start over.

Sounds like she has a v sensible plan. But as others say, make sure she ties up all the issues like student finance etc. good luck to you both

I'm a doctor and wouldn't recommend it to my kids. I see a lot of perfectionistic anxious personality types do medicine and then be miserable. Her plan sounds very sensible. Maybe an allied health job like speech therapy/OT worth thinking about.

My dd sounds just like the PP above mentions- perfectionist being the key characteristic. Even though she was doing really well she put too much pressure on herself to be the best which with a cohort of 300 in one of the top medical schools was never going to easy to achieve.
In the end she dropped out midway through the second term and with the support of the university switched to a related course.
Absolutely the best decision she could have made as she had no problems at all from then on.

@beechie12
Thankyou for your reply… much appreciated- she’s now in a turmoil as feeling of being a failure and feeling stupid for even attempting the course! Heartbreaking to hear over the phone. She’s speaking to tutor on Monday and well-being this Friday for suppport and advice x

I work with a lot of miserable medics - at least she’s realising early it’s not for her! It may be a bumpy few years but I wish your DD all the best.

Poor her. I am not sure what year she is in but if she can stick it out that might be best particularly if the near the end or near the part when you move to move clinical work which she might like more.
If not she need not feel she has failed. She could eg start a 3 year law degree. However if she has had a student loan so far I don't think you can get a second one so she might need parents to fund it.
If she has done 3 years of her degree and passed the exams she may be able to get some kind of degree and therefore post grad careers would be open to her in a way they would not be if she simply drops out without a degree eg she could then do solicitors' exams (and a law conversion course) if she had a first degree.

I remember your previous posts about your DD @Monica53. I know what it is like to worry when your DC are so far away. She did very well to get into medical school in the first place (which is more than my DD did).

I believe that medicine has a pretty high drop out rate compared to other degrees, and your DD really needs to move away from the idea that she is a failure.

If she wants to stay in the same field there are loads of other healthcare related degrees that she can look at.

I hope she finds a way forward that she is happy with, and I wish her loads of luck

Thankyou for all lovely/supportive/informative advice , one of degrees Dd is thinking of is midwifery . She thinks she’s have appropriate points etc for UCAS.

I believe that medicine has a pretty high drop out rate compared to other degrees, and your DD really needs to move away from the idea that she is a failure

It absolutely doesn't. The selection process is brutal and for very good reason. I think a year out is a great idea. I would suggest keeping the door open if at all possible. I am assuming she is still 19/20, she may feel very different in 12 months. What year is she now? Could she be persuaded to take this year's exams at least ?

@Monica53 just wanted to send a hug 🤗. I'm so glad your DD has been honest and I think she's really brave to make this decision as it takes guts to admit things are not going right. Especially after the rollercoaster of getting in.
My favourite Charlie Macksay quote :
'What's the bravest thing you've ever said ? Help'. I have it stuck on my tutor room wall. Attached here for your DD.
She is doing the right thing. Studying medicine can be brutally tough. And midwifery sounds like a good plan for the future.

@Neurodiversitydoctor
Thankyou for your reply, we think she’ll complete exam , however she’s speaking to tutor and well-being soon and careers. It’s all effected her MH along with covid which isn’t good .

@Neurodiversitydoctor

I believe that medicine has a pretty high drop out rate compared to other degrees, and your DD really needs to move away from the idea that she is a failure

It absolutely doesn't. The selection process is brutal and for very good reason. I think a year out is a great idea. I would suggest keeping the door open if at all possible. I am assuming she is still 19/20, she may feel very different in 12 months. What year is she now? Could she be persuaded to take this year's exams at least ?

You need to read OP's original posts. If I recall she is still in the first year, her third year of study, and has failed yet again some term 1 modules. Leaving now, to concentrate on her MH is far better for her than staying to the end of the year to take exams she will yet again probably fail.