Mental Health Support

[woodlands01]

My son has reached out to his university student services for some support as he is finding it difficult to engage with others and is spending a lot of time cooped up in his room. Consequently very low mood. The response was a very long email with lots of details about next step options. When he has contacted them further the response is to contact GP. I feel helpless as I am over 100 miles away. I understand he had to take responsibility but as a response to someone concerned about mental health it seems the uni has offered little direct support. I suppose I am worried he will goto GP and be prescribed medication without someone trying to understand and help with his issues. Any thought especially with what I can do to help?

Hi, OP -

Two things are going on here. First, depending on the GP, the advice to start by reaching out to them could be very good. Is your DS signed on to a local GP at uni? GPS with a large student population are well used to MH crises. A good one will probe and take the time to prescribe properly, if at all. They should also plan follow up and/or refer within the NHS as necessary.

But we all know that absent emergency the wait for therapy on the NHS can be long. Hence unis should be offering their own support. The dirty truth, at least at my own large Russell Group place, is that this provision is almost as woeful as the NHS. I
Stories from my own personal tutees and heard at Mitigating Circumstances panels about the shortfall in MH provision at uni have been toe curling.

OTOH the DSA can be very helpful helping students to manage any kind of chronic disability, including MH. (They don’t prescribe or do therapy.). I am not sure whether you need a diagnosis to use their services but it might be worth a query. Good luck, this is a tough one

Thank you for your honest post poetry and wine. He is signed on with student health centre so I am going to talk him through contacting them tomorrow. We would be happy to pay fir some sort of counselling but would want a recommendation really to ensure securing someone appropriate. Do you think uni or GP could recommend? What is the DSA that you refer to? So difficult - I know he is an 'adult' but quite useless at taking this sort of responsibility

I would hope that both uni and a GP could provide names of reliable counsellors.

DSA is an acronym I have seen here. At my place we have an OSD - Office for Students with Disabilities - staffed by professionals. That is what I meant to refer to.

I know it is a very hard time for all of you, best wishes

The long list of options he’s been given, has he actioned those? Are they any help?

Ultimately if he is having issues with his mental health he probably does need to see a Dr, who will prescribe medication long or short term if they deem it appropriate. The student GP will be well versed in this as a PP said.

Student support at his uni should have a counselling offer.

DSA is disabled student allowance and provides accommodations or resources for students with health issues including mental health. It wouldn’t help in this particular circumstance but if he speaks to a Dr and had a diagnosis it may be appropriate in future.

I dont have any suggestions but I feel for you OP. It's so hard when they are supposed to be adults and in charge of themselves but in reality they often have a lot of growing up to do and a lot to cope with given all the pandemic crap.

I don't think you need to feel anti-medication for your DS. There are many young people on antidepressants including my own DC. They really help.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. Tried to make GP appointment yesterday but too late so supposed to be waking early to call today

as he is finding it difficult to engage with others and is spending a lot of time cooped up in his room

What is the nature of his difficulty in engaging?

Is he going to seminars, tutorials, lectures? Can he make superficial social chit chat before or after a lecture or seminar.

Does he have an interest which he could explore via Student union clubs & societies?

Could he go to the gym, for example, just to get out of his room? Or go for a walk each day.

He needs to step over the threshold, and try to make a physical & mental first step. Just a simple first step - but he needs to do it.

Did he have difficulties at school? Is it because in the past, his social interactions were organised for him (by you, or his school?).

The self-help materials my university provides for students are excellent, and he should work through what they provide.

But ultimately, he'll need to find strategies to get over his shyness. It helped me (I was very shy until I was about 25 when I realised I just had to get over myself) to try to work out what caused me to shrink back from social interaction. For me, being fairly relentlessly bullied for a lot of my time at school was part of the problem , & getting to university & realising it was full of other girly swots who liked talking about ideas & enjoyed studying. was tremendously liberating.

The simple mental health "hygiene" advice we give students as personal tutors is to attend classes, get some exercise each day (outdoors is best if the weather allows), try to develop a regular sleep pattern, and think about a non-studies activity that gives you pleasure.

Very simple things, and part of learning to take care of yourself as an adult.