Another path- the first year ......

[chopc]

Apologies if I didn't tag anyone. Hopefully have inckueded all current posters

Chopc - Durham-History
@jano69 -Durham -History
@OnTheBenchOfDoom -Durham - Computer science
@Majaso12 -Imperial - Biochemistry
@bendmeoverbackwards -Bristol- History
@Pumpkintopf -Imperial -Physics
@ChimneyPot -Brown (US) - Open
@Stillcrikey -Bristol -MML
@Tenpastseven - Bristol -modern languages
@Longtimenewsee - Durham - Chemistry
@MidLifeCrisis007 - Durham -History
@BigWoollyJumpers - Exeter- History
@SeasonFinale -Bristol- History
@Notagardener LSE
@Revengeofthepangolins UCL - History
@raspberryrippleicecream ? -Maths
@derekthe1adyhamster Birmingham- Computer Science
@Vargas -Durham -Geography
@AvocadoPlant Exeter -History

@Pumpkintopf we collect Ds on Saturday and Durham has a 5 week Easter holiday. Most of it will be revision for his exams in May but he is here for Mother's Day. My lovely Mum died 12 years ago and my lovely MIL died 8 years ago, so just me as a Mum on the day.

Has anyone get any big plans for Mother's Day? Mine is always low key, at home with a beautiful lunch prepared by Dh and the DCs.

Ds's exams are over before the end of May leaving a month before the end of his tenancy. How lovely.

A five week Easter holiday sounds good @OnTheBenchOfDoom and how lovely to have a month at the end after exams to look forward to.

DS also has exams when they go back after Easter, and then a summer project to work on and present to the public!

@Pumpkintopf. Dd said she had labs in the Summer term and a project after exams, but she doesn’t know more than that. Seems a bit mean they have more after Summer exams. I thought that was always it for the year when exams had finished. Do you know if the project counts towards their marks? Dd has a 2 hour maths exam tomorrow morning.

Hi @Majaso12 ! Hope your dd is ok. Has she found accommodation for next year yet? DS still has not - had a bit of a crisis this week re who he was going to share with, hopefully that is getting resolved...🤦🏼‍♀️

Not sure if the project counts as I can't find any info on it online. Have texted DS to ask but needless to say have not heard back yet - will keep you posted if I hear.

A summer project just seems to fit the Imperial ethos of 'surely you all just want to do work, all the time?!' 😁

DS has had a few issues this term. We have felt helpless being so far away. I would actively dissuade my other two from applying to a Uni so far away from home 😥. He is quite a resilient boy but is also a "homebody". Yes he could have travelled down or we could have gone up but he always had plans. So yes all is OK on the surface and he is enjoying Uni and experiencing life to the full but I feel he needs us and we haven't been able to be there.

When communicating on the phone you only know things they tell you ......

@Pumpkintopf. No she hasn’t found anything and also hasn’t spoken to any others about sharing, it’s just her, bf and possibly one other. She keeps saying she’ll ask others but then doesn’t get round to it! Her flatmates are moving back home, think they all live in London. She wouldn’t have wanted to share with them anyway though. I found a student accommodation online and she sent an email but didn’t get a reply, so I rang them but they only had 50 week contracts left. Still cheaper though than a lot and a bit cheaper than hers now. Tried to get her to go and look at it but she hasn’t.

She’s got one new lecturer who’s doing live online lectures which only started yesterday and she said how much better it was. Shame all the other lecturers couldn’t have done the same. Too late now with there being no lectures after Easter. One lecturer she has left years ago, but they still use his lectures. When they have questions though, they can’t email him obviously! Several did and that’s when they found out he wasn’t there anymore. I think that’s quite bad.

@chopc I’m sorry to hear that, it must be worrying when you’re so far away. Does he have support at uni?

@chopc. Sorry to hear you’ve had issues this term. Last year my ds in his final year had issues with flatmates that he didn’t tell us about until one day when he messaged when he was in a really bad way. We had to get to him quick, which was 2 hours away and bring him home. It was really awful at the time. Luckily it was quite near the end of the year and he’d done his exams. He never went back and we’d paid a lot for his accommodation. I hope your ds finds the Easter break helps.

My dd has been back and forth quite a bit recently. She went back to Bristol after reading week and our trip to Barcelona (fab) then realised she was coming back again the following weekend for my mum’s memorial service. She’s a good kid, turned up with flowers for me, bless her. We went for a lovely meal out on Saturday night with dd1.

Meanwhile things with dd3 are not good, school attendance is poor and I’m am worried sick ☹️

Pumpkin and Majaso, dc who is also in London, hasn't got anything either. With DC1 I wasn't worried even though he didn't get anything till summer term. However dc2 isn't as "social" as dc1 and probably also a bit more picky about which friends and which room....So getting a bit nervous....

Thanks for the support @bendmeoverbackwards and @Majaso12

DS did offer to go up last weekend but DS had plans. That has been the general theme. To be honest I didn't keep checking on his work as he did so well in the first term I thought he had it in hand. And in one bad moment as Majeso said it all came out .......

I think main issue as always is with a romance gone wrong and this has a knock on effect on everything else

He is home this weekend so hopefully a break from his college and corridor will do him some good. He has lots of friends old and new and he said he has actually spoken with some of them so I am glad he is a talker like me which I know is not common in men

@bendmeoverbackwards how worrying for you wrt DD3. What support is there for her/ you?

Sorry to hear that @chopc it is so difficult when your teenager has a blip and they are far from home. I really struggled last term when my DD was ill and whilst she dealt with it well she was very poorly before the end of term so my DH drove and picked her up early.

@bendmeoverbackwards That must be difficult with DD3. I hope the situation improves soon.

I'm in rainy Exeter at the moment. I've had a lovely couple of days but my DD has a deadline looming which means that Mum takes the brunt of her worries. I do understand but equally I'm getting a bit fed up of being on the receiving end of the grumpiness. Teenagers are challenging sometimes, lovely most of the time but challenging too.

I met a few more of DD's flatmates, sadly not your DS @Jng1 , and they were all lovely and the kitchen was impressively clean and tidy.

A good term for my DD as she feels that friendships are going really well plus lots of socialising and she has her first boyfriend!

Let's see what stresses next term bring with exams looming.

We have just got home from a 2 day trip to Bristol and went out with DS, his Gf and 9 other friends of his and earned legend status by buying the drinks all evening. We also managed to fit in a meal at a restaurant featured on Remarkable Places to Eat which was great and took planning as they are fully booked weeks in advance. Discovered a great AIRBNB in a good location with offroad parking.

DS did pop home for a few days in reading week which he wasn't originally going to do but our trip there was preplanned so it still went ahead.

Sorry some aren't having a good time for whatever reason. As empty nester we have taken advantage of getting abroad for a couple of trips as the world reopens which has been lovely (sunshine trip to the carribean and a European city break). DS has also booked flights to go to the FarEast (his cancelled gap year destination which was replaced by Central America). He has booked with gf (who he met at uni) so let's hope there is no split!

Speaking of being a legend - did you guys know you can order drinks to your DC table if they are at a weatherspoons? I bought a round of drinks for DS and friends

I am sure you can do the same with any other institution with an app

Yes it is tough @Dobbyismyabsolutefav

Hope you have thick skin

@chopc so sorry your son had issues. We are much closer geographically being in Yorkshire but it feels like a million miles if they are unhappy. Ds has had some issues in his flat but luckily they have now been sorted but it was stressful for a time. Just entitled behaviour having an impact on others in the communal space, complete lack of care for shared facilities. So not just Ds affected.

I think ordering your drinks to your table is fantastic. Ds and his mates frequent Spoons here a lot. Comfy seats at large tables, cheap drinks and food to keep you going throughout the evening. They are all very talkative. Mainly boys with a couple of girls. Some of them at up at Durham too so the ones who aren't travel up and they all spend time together.

@bendmeoverbackwards so sorry your DD3 is not doing so great. It must be a massive worry for you. Hopefully school are being proactive in helping her return.

@Majaso12 Ds took a 51 week contract just to secure his room next year. It is also frustrating when you can only guide them and can't frogmarch them down to view places

Just catching up after an emergency dash to Exeter as DD has a broken arm (not impressed with the A&E nurse who told DD she was wasting her time at A&E and was v reluctant to let her have an x-ray despite the fact DD had been referred for an x-ray after a f2f GP appointment!)
@chopc hope your DS enjoys his break at home, having friends at uni will help, and the Easter break is hopefully a chance to catch up on any missed work.

@bendmeoverbackwards hoping things improve with DD3. It must be so difficult and just relentless for you. I hope the school are being supportive too.

@Dobbyismyabsolutefav we must’ve been in Exeter at the same time, but we only managed to visit the hospital and a quick trip to Morrisons - your trip sounds much nicer.

Re legend status, we contacted the bar where DD and her friends were celebrating her 18th birthday and arranged for them to be served cocktails and snacks. We got a very appreciative (and giggly) thank you video from the the girls in return - especially as a couple were still only 17.

Thanks for the messages of support @AvocadoPlant and @OnTheBenchOfDoom

@AvocadoPlant how terrible for your daughter and lucky you were able to dash there . Did you bring her home with you?

@chopc nope she’s a stubborn miss! “Luckily” it’s a fracture near the elbow which can’t be strapped up, so advice is just painkillers, heat wraps, and use if you can.

[quote chopc]@bendmeoverbackwards how worrying for you wrt DD3. What support is there for her/ you? [/quote]
Thanks @chopc actually school have been brilliant. I've heard of other schools not being supportive and threatening fines, legal action etc. They are talking to us regularly, and to her. Good news this week she has gone in 4 days out of 5! It might have been Parents' Evening earlier this week that spurred her on as many of her teachers talked about her absences.

Oh no @AvocadoPlant your poor dd! Is it in plaster? I hope she is managing ok and fingers crossed for a quick mend.

Oh I missed your last post @AvocadoPlant, hope it heals quickly.

Yes lots of talk about 'Spoons' from my dd and also her older sister. I didn't realise it was such a student pub!

Oh no @AvocadoPlant. I hope she isn’t too uncomfortable with it and that it mends well.

@chopc sorry to hear of the teething problems your Ds is having . Dd found managing the work load in term 1 frankly daunting alongside dashing to so many sessions and dealing with everything else on top. (So much so that she wasn’t looking forward to going back to term 2 at all) and it’s only really this term that she’s found her feet with organising everything and getting to grips with all the stem stuff too. This is a person who usually finds things very easy to organise. I kept reminding her of everything she was dealing with ‘ all at once’ and how well she was doing . It sounds like your Ds has had some emotional upheaval.. it takes its toll in all areas doesn't it- he will bounce back and be all over his work again soon, I’m sure of it

@bendmeoverbackwards.. sorry to hear about your dd3 . I hope things get easier for you soon. That old adage that you are only as happy as your unhappiest child is certainly true . One of mine is really struggling atm and I feel at loss about how to move them on.

We are picking Dd up for Easter today ( She has to move out during holidays) . I’m looking forward to seeing my girl very much

its the organisation stuff on top of everything else , ds just rang in I slightly flustered way to say his modules for next year needed to go in today and could he talk through his choices .He actually had it sorted out but i think just needed to go over it with someone (interesting can't imagine ever doing this with my parents). he rushed off to meet some other deadline.

He is staying up for a few days to finish some work so will be back next weekend rather than this, have to say he looked a bit pale but was probably out last night!

@Longtimenewsee thing is he was on top of things last term. So I didn't persistently follow up on his work etc this term as I thought he has it all in hand. Then it all came tumbling out that he hasn't enjoyed most of his modules so found reading a challenge.
DH thinks it's all to do with a romance gone sour and I think he may be right .......