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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Dd’s accommodation plans for next year have crumbled

24 replies

Christmasiseverywere · 02/12/2021 18:58

Dd is in her first year of uni, its been up and down, I’m not sure how settled she is. Sad

She thought she had a group to get accommodation with next year but they have now said they are going with some others an it will be too big if she is there too.Angry

She really upset and worried about what shes going to do. Has anyone got any advice please?

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 02/12/2021 19:00

Would halls of residence be possible ?

Hellocatshome · 02/12/2021 19:01

Look into Halls, find another group to share with, or ask at Student Accommodation services for a list of rooms to rent.

LIZS · 02/12/2021 19:05

There will probably be a accommodation fair in the NY to match groups up. She could also ask on sm groups if anyone has a vacant room.

Christmasiseverywere · 02/12/2021 19:06

Brilliant! Thank you

OP posts:
LIZS · 02/12/2021 19:07

There may also be private halls available to second and third years, although they tend to be pricy and attract post grads and overseas students.

RainingYetAgain · 02/12/2021 19:18

TBH, its probably a blessing. IME, and that of my DS that friendship groups change during the first couple of terms. dc found that there was a good accommodation available at Easter . One of DC2's friends was in a very unhappy house in Y2 and regreted rushing into it.
A lot of Letting Agents try to rush students into a decision and once they have signed up it is difficult to change

gogohm · 02/12/2021 19:23

Private halls, bed sits etc are all common these days but I would suggest she bides her time and listens out for options, she won't be alone in needing a group to share with

Christmasiseverywere · 02/12/2021 19:25

Its really stressful for them, feeling like they need to be in a group asap!

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 02/12/2021 19:26

I was in that position going into my second year, and found a room in a house owned by a postgrad. It was brilliant - I could go and hang round at other peoples houses and then come back to a lovely neat, clean and quiet house

Bayleaf25 · 03/12/2021 07:57

The university freshers Facebook page usually has lots of people looking for an extra person, tell her to join the page if she hasn’t already - last years page 2021/22 rather than new students due in 2022/23.

Needmoresleep · 03/12/2021 09:15

That sounds familiar.

Four years ago DD was upset that the rest of her first year flat went looking without her, and was not reassured when I suggested that plenty of rooms would come up between then and the summer.

She played University sport so mentioned it them, and a couple of others said the same had happened to them, so they decided to look together, and picked up a flat just before Christmas when many bothers had gone home.

It worked well. They had not known each other well but had interests in common and a similar lifestyle. (Freezing pitches rather than warm clubs!) One is still a close friend.

DD agreed I was right about rooms coming up. There was a lot of fallings out through the year , and indeed her first year flat mates apparently had massive ructions in the middle of their second year. Others will drop out or fail their first year exams, with one good room coming up in the summer because someone had to take a year out for medical reasons.

It is worth focussing on lifestyle. Problems seemed to occur when some in a group settled down in their second year and cut back on the parties, whilst others continued.

There are alternatives if nothing works. Though something will. DD, who is a medic so around for longer, took last year out to study for an intercalation degree. Because of Covid, no one was moving and with finals coming up, she did not want to share with strangers whilst most of the non medics had left the City. There were quite a lot of private halls options aimed, I assume at international and Masters students. (We bit the bullet and she is renting on her own. Oddly student accommodation where she is, is more expensive that non student accommodation which normally comes up a month before vacancy. )

Dollywilde · 03/12/2021 09:20

Twas ever thus! Good advice on here, so tell her not to panic. I remember being on a bus in December of my first year and hearing some girls talking about grouping up for second year houses and getting so stressed!

I wound up in a bit of an odds and sods house for second year (one of the girls from my flat, a couple of her course mates and one of my course mates). I’m only friends with 2 of them 13 years later but we all got along fine! As a PP says if she asks around she’ll find loads of people are in the same boat.

(And IME from my uni time and the younger people I know who are there now, often it’s the flats where everyone commits before Christmas where the problems arise - you’re all still so new in that first term and people haven’t really shown their true colours yet!)

steppemum · 03/12/2021 09:24

ds is first year, they have just signed for their house for next year

But the biggest risk is that one of them drops out, and then they will need to find a replacement quickly,
I think this is quite common, and there will be people looking for replacements for rooms in their house later in the year. Actually in that case easier to be single person and be flexible.

Mind you, not sure I'd want to share with ds and his mates.....

mdh2020 · 03/12/2021 09:53

Its very early and friendship groups are still settling and changing. My DD fell out with her roommate in hall after they had signed for a house with a third person. The roommate swapped with a guy who wasn’t happy about the housemates he had signed with. there will be lots of jostling and changing. I’m sure she will find a group and be happy there.

ResentfulAF · 03/12/2021 10:00

Sometimes you can be a student warden in halls and get your accommodation for free. It's a role with responsibilities etc which can look good on CV and gives her another chance to make friends etc

Orangedaisy · 03/12/2021 10:07

This happened to me too, many years ago, and I still feel the pain now, it was nasty. When the school mums are being bitchy it reminds me of it, I guess it taught me resilience. The group that left me out ended up being utterly dreadful to one of the girls they did choose to be in their group and she ended up being ignored for most of the year and stuck in the house. So your dd is well out of it and it will work out and she’ll be better for it.

I ended up living in halls and having the best time. There are loads of other options and the pressure isn’t necessary, although I know it feels real. Hugs for your dd.

ClerkMaxwell · 03/12/2021 10:28

Not sure a hall job is a great way to make friends. Although DD has made friends with the other RAs, the other residents ignore her at best and harass her at worst.

It probably depends on the Uni culture and whether all hall jobs people are in same flat (safety in numbers) or spread about. I wouldn't recommend it unless she is robust or she is at a good uni where students are kind to each other.

iknowimcoming · 03/12/2021 10:39

Just echoing the 'tell her not to panic' messages! Dd signed up to a house before Xmas in her first year with her chosen group of mates, paid deposit etc, (all very panicky and rushed as they all seem to be) and when we were picking her up for a holiday at Easter she got us to drive past to show us it and we saw a large SOLD! board outside it! Few frantic phone calls later and the estate agent was all - yeah we were going to call you about that blah, blah! Owner has changed his mind etc but don't worry we've got this other similar place you'll love (they didn't) Hmm god the drama was epic! We'll never find anywhere now etc!

Anyway, they easily found a much nicer place which was cheaper and stayed there for 2 years in the end. Took bloody months to get the deposit back from the original agent mind!

DS is in his first year now and has agreed with 2 of his current flatmates they'll share but they are looking after Xmas. DD is now in 4th year and has her own tiny flat (more drama, not really her choice) but absolutely loves it now!

TizerorFizz · 05/12/2021 16:02

DD1 rather assumed she would share with a group of 3 from her halls in first year. Instead they found another 2 one of them knew from school and didn’t want a 6th person. DD was not aware she was the outsider until they all booked to go skiing without her. It’s hard feeling rejected.

However before everyone got back to uni after Christmas, DD picked herself up and 4 boys and a medic girl and DD decided they would share. Worked out perfectly and DD was flat hunter in chief! DD still in touch with 4 of them.

So tell her “don’t panic” Ask around. Friends of friends might be looking. DD definitely dodged a bullet by not being included.

KaycePollard · 05/12/2021 17:00

Generally, students snicker about signing up for houses or flats far too early. Reassure your DD that there is still at least 3 months before she needs to panic!

KaycePollard · 05/12/2021 20:57

PANIC not snicker. Darn autocorrect!

lljkk · 05/12/2021 21:35

I was flat hunting with DD on13 Sept this year, for 30 Sept start of term. It all worked out. Now is way too early to panic or fret.

Susiesue61 · 07/12/2021 15:25

Similar happened to DD, the girls in her flat all panicked and signed up for a flat in halls while she was at home sick! She was annoyed when she found out, but it's all settled down and she thinks they will all fall out anyway. She could look with the boys from her flat but is probably going to come home and commute, she's hoping to change her course and has really missed home!

TizerorFizz · 07/12/2021 17:15

There is a danger in some cities that if you leave it until the weeks before the start of term there really will be nothing left. Groups of students rarely leave it that late! Just too risky.,

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