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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Supporting undergrad son.

45 replies

LisaLane · 01/11/2021 05:13

What level of support should my son be receiving in first year? I ask because I think he's receiving none. This may be par for the course. He's just turned 18. Expected to produce academic essays with no initial guidance, no worked examples of an academic standard essay to look at or any pre essay input from seminar tutor which is supposed to happen, no instruction re how to reference, just a style guide for his dept. His dept's moodle page is difficult to to navigate, it took me a while to find the reading lists which were hidden in another section. Also due to COVID he's not able to access f2f lectures. I'm a secondary teacher in a humanities subject and we definitely don't teach how to reference when teaching the higher for my subject. It's not a requirement.
He's too afraid to raise these issues with his tutor and I don't think it's my place to fire off an email as his mum. Im supporting him with encouragement, suggestions for how to structure his essays and doing a quick read through for grammar etc. For context I'm a recent grad and the two experiences are night and day but I was an older student and asked questions and for guidance when I needed to. Pre COVID though. Are my expectations too high? If so I'll shut up!

OP posts:

shylatte · 01/11/2021 07:43

*OU Harvard.

EdmontinaDancesWithOphelia · 01/11/2021 07:46

He's too afraid to raise these issues with his tutor

Is admittedly not a good place to start. Do you think he might have benefitted from a gap year, OP, to get him used to interacting with adults on a more even footing? (I know it’s too late to ask, but perhaps other parents might consider this if their university bound children are very young.)

beigebrownblue · 01/11/2021 07:50

It can be difficult interacting with your tutor even if you are over forty!

I found some but not all tutors don't actually have many teaching skills!

Yes, honestly.

Good advice to 'read the handbook' from previous posters but there is this thing going on that with some tutors they seem to think they are too clever to 'teach' if you know what I mean.

PaulGallico · 01/11/2021 08:02

I think this is typical of most universities and many students. His essays will gradually improve and he will learn to reach out and find the right resources - that is how university works. I do think that covid has created an even bigger gap between A level and Degree level. Not just in academic terms but in maturity and resourcefulness. OP I would step back - encourage him to speak to his personal tutor but back away from the moodle site.

FuckyNel · 01/11/2021 08:05

Your son isn't finding out for himself because he knows you'll do it for him

Original poster

LisaLane · 01/11/2021 08:09

You're all right. I know I am not helping by being so available. WRT to his logins - I definitely don't have those. He sat beside me with his laptop and moodle open and asked where his reading list was.

I'm going to step back. He's the baby and had a rotten last couple of years with lockdown and school closure etc. Thanks for input.

OP posts:

wooliewoo · 01/11/2021 08:24

I also don't recognise people saying referencing was never taught at university. I was definitely taught Harvard referencing at a Scottish university.

At DD university the library run sessions on referencing, study skills etc so I would encourage your DS to contact them.

I would also agree with others that they find their feet in 1st year and learn as they go. He just needs to make sure he is getting feedback on his essays so he knows how to improve. When my DD was home last Christmas she got an assignment back and was disappointed it was graded as a C and all the feedback was about what had gone well. Nothing about what else she should have included to get the B she was aiming for. I encouraged her to email the lecturer for more feedback on what else she should be considering and now she knows to do this if it isn't forthcoming.

It's particularly difficult for this current cohort as they did not have a normal last year of school education so there will be gaps all over the place.

It sounds like your son is living at home and it can be much more difficult to step back when they're under your roof still. I know my DD1 moans to me about all sorts of things when she's home and I feel I should be getting involved. But when she's away she just gets on with it herself and has done just fine🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm sure he'll get there, it's early days yet. Good luck

LIZS · 01/11/2021 08:32

Sorry but he needs to be more self sufficient. There will be resources about essay writing, referencing etc if he asks. Usually optional seminars, via personal tutor or library. There are variations in background, previous teaching, subject knowledge which are addressed in first term. If he has a Reading Week that may be an opportunity to try to bridge the gaps. Is he living at uni?

ApolloandDaphne · 01/11/2021 08:34

Out uni has a separate department where student can access advice and support on academic matters. They have little booklets on loads of topics such as essay writing etc. They also run drop in groups and can set up one to one meetings. Our is called CEED ( Centre for educational enhancement and development). Your DSs uni should have something similar. Where is he?

Hillarious · 03/11/2021 12:26

School to university is a step change. He'll get there eventually, but he really needs to take a deep breath and ask his tutor for help and guidance. It's what they're there for. Better to be asking now at the beginning of his course.

Xenia · 04/11/2021 08:10

My sons just asked tutors or friends. However there is nothing wrong with a mother helping if the son wants that. My older son gave me access to his online account in his last year as he kept missing deadlines and wanted me to remind him something I never did with the other 4 children (older or younger ones) as the others did not need or want it. It did help him. I only got involved when the university sent a letter to our home address about his deadlines and he then said he wanted the help. he was living at home for all years after year 1 (as could drive there for lectures which I think is a pity as he did not get the live in experience of the other children but there we are and he says he is glad he got his degree etc).

Original poster

LisaLane · 04/11/2021 21:46

It has been a really intense learning curve for him. Having to organise, motivate, plan ahead - the whole shebang. I've massively stepped back this week. Just available for academic type chats when he asks. Nothing else except answers to questions about where can he find the word count on the laptop!! Thanks for the perspective!

OP posts:

ApolloandDaphne · 04/11/2021 21:54

I have to say I find it odd that someone has gone off to uni without ever having had to know the word count of a piece of work. That is just basic knowledge of using Word.

Original poster

LisaLane · 06/11/2021 17:15

Your level of surprise surprises me. I work with teens and you'd not be surprised at how little they know about word versus Snapchat. They're not as computer savvy as you'd think.

OP posts:

Darbs76 · 07/11/2021 22:22

It’s been 20yrs since my criminal justice and law degree. But I distinctly remember a lecture on how to reference and write essays. Essay writing I was ok with from A levels but references was new to me, and back then I didn’t own a personal computer or have home internet access for advice and guidance. He really needs to raise it with his tutor - no shame in not knowing how to reference - it’s a university level thing so most students won’t be aware how to. They should be teaching it though

Xenia · 08/11/2021 10:38

On Word skills it does vary between pupils and not everyone can afford a computer at home either. My son worked for 3 months last summer as a paralegal and they found his replacement and she just did not know what we thought were obvious and basic things about Word and Excel. Hopefully she has got the hang of it by now. It was quite surprising but shows how varied people's knowledge or lack of it can be.

titchy · 08/11/2021 10:48

@LisaLane

Your level of surprise surprises me. I work with teens and you'd not be surprised at how little they know about word versus Snapchat. They're not as computer savvy as you'd think.

They can google though surely...

Pommelhorse · 08/11/2021 10:57

Great thread! Blatently place marking for my eighteen year old!

Pommelhorse · 08/11/2021 10:58

Argh, blatantly, sorry!

Seeline · 08/11/2021 11:02

My DD often has to word count her school work - since Y7.

She has been taught referencing for the EPQ. She didn't actually do an EPQ, but her school still make all the 6th form carry out a bit if independent research a write a fully referenced extended essay.

DSs uni has pages on the student portal thing about the referencing system they prefer students to use. I only know because it was one of the first things he had to do last year, when working online and he mentioned it. His uni also has a unit which offers academic advice for all students - essay writing, maths skills etc which would help with something like this. I thought that was a fairly standard service at most unis?

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