Messed up Y12 - does DS have to put his life on hold until results next August?

[InvisibleMiss]

I don’t know what I’m asking here really. Other people’s experiences maybe?

DS sailed through primary and secondary school. Never really had to try. Lockdown and 2020 meant he got really good GCSEs without ever sitting an exam.

He’s doing Physics, Maths and Chemistry A Levels. Completely wasted Y12 and messed up his mocks. Spent the summer hols trying to catch up and school are helping with some interventions. They believe he has the ability. I’ve also found him a maths tutor. But is this all too little too late I wonder.

It feels as though he can’t apply for anything as he failed his mocks.

Are we meant to put our lives on hold until next August when he gets his actual grades?

I’ve no idea.

He is currently at the gym in total denial. Having read some threads on here I am seriously questioning whether he might have ADHD. That’s another thread I suppose.

He’s a bright lad and it’s so frustrating to watch him. His friends are applying for uni and apprenticeships and it’s slowly dawning on him that he just wasted Y12. He keeps saying he can’t apply for anything.

He’s happy though. Loves school, friends, rugby, gym, Saturday job. It’s just that school work is always bottom of the priority list.

I do worry about him.

Thanks for reading.

School with have people in place to help advice. He needs to meet with them or you could call and ask their advice.

Have you looked into him taking a gap year? From what you said, if he comes out with good results in his real exams then he can apply to the unis next year with the results, and mocks won't matter. There's plenty of different options, there are sports coaching ones if he was interested in doing something like that, for example.
Lots of my dds friends are planning on taking a gap year, regardless of grades, so he likely wouldn't be the only one in his year doing so, and it gives him something to plan for.

He could apply anyway or wait and go through Clearing.

What does he actually want to do after school?

DS1 is exactly the same. Year 13 now, sailed through (non existent) GCSEs and thought he could do the same with A levels. Got terrible mock grades at the end of year 12 and hence predicted grades. We have now put on pressure for him to work, after having completely left it to him in year 12. School are also putting him in intervention classes and making him study in free periods (teacher supervised room) to get him to do some work. We have turned off his PlayStation, pocket money etc which he agreed with. This all seems to be working. He’s not I doubt, going to get top grades but enough to get onto a course he wants at University. School are not submitting his UCAS form until end of Dec, basing his predicted grades on what he gets at the end of this term. It’s hard to pick what to apply to/where to look as we are not sure what grades he will get. He has looked at a spread from ABB to BCC. All take lower in clearing and one has a foundation year if he completely messes them up. We have also looked at universities with guaranteed accommodation for 1st years if he goes through clearing.

Thanks for all your replies.

@kitnkaboodle Unfortunately he doesn’t know what he wants to do.

@gegs73 Yes school have taken away his frees so he has to do supervised study and they have also arranged a couple of weekly interventions after school. Good luck to your DS!

@BluebellsGreenbells thank you for suggesting contacting school. I emailed the careers officer last night and she rang me back this morning. She is going to meet with him again. But not mention our chat! I wouldn’t have thought to do that, so thank you for replying.

All is definitely not lost!
A friend’s DS did abysmally in year 12, getting Ds in his AS levels and constant calls from the head, informing his parents he was a terrible student and needed to give up his part-time job to focus on school work.
Once he decided he actually wanted to go to uni, he sorted himself out, ended up getting As and A* in his A levels, and is now in his 3rd year at Exeter, doing engineering.

It’s definitely worth looking at unis that offer courses with integrated foundation years, which allow students to progress onto the standard course, providing they pass the foundation year. The grade requirements are quite a lot lower, eg CCC for a course that would require AAB or ABB for the standard course.

Similar situation here with DD although think we may have turned a corner. She has knuckled down in the last week or so and actually started to study. Not doing GCSE’s have really screwed this cohort over I think because they haven’t been through the whole exams process and it seems a bit unreal to them. Dd is applying to unis with lower predicted grades than actually needed and we are hoping she will get at least 1 offer. We have also found a uni she likes with lower grades that she will also apply for and use as insurance choice.

Could he not just have redone year 12?

Re-doing year 12 can be a really good decision for some students. Was this suggested? It’s too late now if he wanted to change A levels but probably ok if he’s staying put? . A friends Dc (who cruised through gcses) had a pretty bad yr 12 after taking the wrong A levels. He restarted year 12 , dropped 1 A level and started a new one but moreover, he had time to rethink what he wanted to do. Hes just started a fab uni doing a course he’s should have been aiming for all along

Has he looked at uni courses? Visited uni cities/ towns?. It WILL all seem abstract to him unless he knows what he is aiming for.

www.theuniguide.co.uk/a-level-explorer
^ This let’s you put in A levels and gives ideas what courses you could do.
Go through a few uni courses with him online and see if he can find something he’s interested in that his A levels fit? . I would suggest visiting your nearest university just to get a feel of potential courses. Once he knows what he might want to aim for then you can start comparing courses in places he might want to go to.

Is there any possibility, if his timetable allows of sitting in on some of the year 12 lessons for the subject he is finding the most challenging?

It is possible to pull this back with shed loads of hard work and determination. He needs to find buckets of motivation from somewhere, and I also think that uni open days are a good place to find it. He needs to know what he’s aiming for and what he needs to reach it.
How bad were his ASs?
I also believe that boys are often late to mature.
Something clicked for my DS1 in year 13, after disappointing AS results. He found a course that he desperately wanted to do, and worked his ass off. He got the A level course specifications online, and studied to those. We also found him a good tutor for each subject. He ended up surprising everyone by coming out with one of the top sets of results in his year, and overshooting what he needed for the course he was aiming for. He took a few weeks to re think, and started uni the following year, doing a great course at a great uni.
It has to start with his motivation. It’s been so tough for these kids, but at least the whole cohort are in it together. Maybe he’ll need more time to get to where he’s going, that’s ok too.

If he doesn’t know what he wants to do after A-Levels then I would gently suggest that a gap year wouldn’t be a bad idea regardless of his grades. It’s been a very disruptive time for young people and taking a bit more space to figure out your life plans is very understandable in that context. Could you encourage him to focus on improving his grades and plan to do something constructive with a year out after school? A combo of work and travelling is extremely useful in grounding kids in their late teens. Especially given how high the financial stakes are now in going to university - if he’s going to take on that debt he should feel confident he’s making the right choice.