Another path ....... the journey begins

[chopc]

Hello @321zyx @AvocadoPlant @bendmeoverbackwards @BigWoollyJumpers @Braveheart35 @calculatorqueen @ChimneyPot @Dobbyisahouseelf @Eastisup @jano69 @Majaso12 @MidLifeCrisis007 @NCTDN @Notagardener @OnTheBenchOfDoom @Parsonage63 @Pumpkintopf @Peaseblossum22 @quest1on @Peaseblossum22 @SATSmadness @SeasonFinale @Tenpastseven @Vargas @Xenia

Apologies for anyone I omitted to tag

Hi everyone. Long time no visiting the thread. Soz for my absence. I think I’m in part avoiding as DS who has deferred place at Bristol in 2022 is thinking about staying longer in the country he’s currently gap year-ing in. It’s a bit of a shock and I’m a bit disorientated about it all as he is the academic one of my brood.

Anyway, I’m back in part because I’m all anxious about my eldest son and have added a post on here about him, and also because I still wanna be part of this gang despite the turnaround in our circumstances here. Who knows, he may change his mind. My friend whom I made on this very thread (@Stillcrikey) has been propping me up offline, thanks you!

Our plans to meet up with DS on Boxing Day were scuppered by 2 covid +ve tests in our household over Xmas. I’m a bit of a wreck Mumsnetters.

Belated Happy Xmas to all, and an early Happy New Year.

This Covid is odd one. DH in close contact with many positives just before Xmas, inc. his boss, who didn't feel well but went to Bills for a breakfast meeting. The next day DH's phone was lit up with "pings". He didn't get it. London DD1, half her office, and friends Covid positive, she and her flat mate exposed to so many, also using trains and buses and tubes every day, didn't get it. DD2, driving instructor positive, DD spent all week with him, in his car, didn't get it! We were very lucky.

DD cancelled her driving test, as she couldn't face it in my car. So the angst continues. Now DVSA have given her a new date, which she can't do, as back at uni, but also can't change, as they say she has run our of changes..... she has only had four dates, so something is not right. They are not open much over the next few days, so she needs to decide whether to just call it a day this holiday, and go for it again in March. I think we will end up having to stump up for another £60, as the time and effort to get things changed is just a pain in the arse. Hmph.

Girls boosters due tomorrow, so they will be done and up to date.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year, and hope that our DC's will be happy and healthy and get back to university, or their gap year lives, in as normal an environment as possible.

@Tenpastseven you will always be welcome!

Oh dear I can see where you are coming from with regards to DS wanting to stay in gap year country longer....... what are his plans? Do you think he will be less inclined to return to education if he takes longer off?

As long as he has a plan it may not be all doom and gloom? Or if he is able to support himself and not just bum around ........

And what a bummer you were not able to see him over Christmas! Double whammy for you. MN hugs

@BigWoollyJumpers I am sure some people have developed better immune response than others to their existing jabs...... pleased both DD will be getting their boosters tomorrow

Sorry to hear about DD driving test. What a palaver she has had to go through ....... I am sure it will all work out in the end

Thanks @chopc, went for a run and then with DH to the cinema for his first ‘freedom’ day post covid. Feeling much better now. Soz for the rant/moan. He’s saying he’ll delay Uni most likely but if that’s the case he’ll also likely have to apply for a different course. He’s currently due to study MFL but is in a country that speaks an entirely different language so he isn’t practicing French or Spanish at all.

Am so sorry about the driving test palavas @BigWoollyJumpers. Remind me, do your live somewhere where diving is essential?

@Tenpastseven I know it's distressing as it all seems up in the air, but if he does choose a different course, would that be such a bad thing? Uni is expensive and it's better to do a degree that you really enjoy and are passionate about and who knows, as he has broadened his horizons, he may have changed his mind about what his future should look like

Thanks for the good wishes - the new baby is gorgeous - the best news of 2021 in what for many has been a very grim covid-hit year, whatever people's views are on the vast amount of moral never mind legal issues about it. There are probably at least 5 different views in our family about the core covid issues for starters so we thankfully avoided it (so no rows) at the lunch for 12 and talked about other things.

For those of us who are organised and planners the requirement to change plans all the time is very hard. In fact having had our summer holiday for 10 abroad cancelled 2 weeks beforehand in 2020 and 2021 I do not currently feel like booking another (it will be first January probably for about nearly 40 years we have not booked a family holiday for the summer). It may be time to end them anyway as the twins won't be students by the summer and everyone has such different views on what the ideal holiday abroad is.

Hi all.
Sorry to hear about covid and driving test woes. Hope all are better / sorted soon.
Lovely to hear your news @Xenia.
And @Tenpastseven, you know I’m always around for you to have a rant if you need x

In driving test news, ds missed his before going off to Bristol (didn’t fail, just got the bloody time wrong and actually missed it!). His theory test runs out in March so looks like he will need to start again 😢.
I’ve not much else to report other than it is lovely having him home. he’s gone to the cinema today with DH and tomorrow we’re off to Liverpool shopping and lunching. His lovely girlfriend (DS’s not Dh’s obv 🤣) is coming too. It was my birthday on Monday, so I’ve got some money burning a hole in my pocket and ‘need’ a new winter coat.

Hope everyone has a good new year.

DS's theory has expired too. Have decided no point retaking until he can fit in lessons!

@Xenia where was it you recommended staying in Bristol? I have confused myself looking at Booking.com options!!

DS has a girlfriend that he has met in halls since starting in September and she is lovely.

@Stillcrikey - I was trying to remember who that was! There was also someone who went all the way to the Isle of Wight to get a test, I wonder who that was??

@SeasonFinale - I am glad DD isn't the only one. She feels she is, as she now knows a few 17/18 year olds with their licences already, but I just think our DC's fell in the "bad timing" window.

She spoke to DVSA this morning, and they are now refunding her (by cheque), so she can start from scratch. Definitely something up with her booking. They couldn't explain why she couldn't re-book on-line, or indeed, why they couldn't refund directly to her card. All very odd. But she did get through on the phone, after half an hour of trying, so that was actually a result . Going to try again at Easter.

She in now going for a week away with BF and his parents. A little like @Majaso12 feeling a bit sad that BF's parents are becoming more central in her life. I must try to be a better person and not resent it though. They are very nice and really I can't complain about BF or them at all.

@Tenpastseven lovely to hear from you. I think sometimes life takes unexpected turns and what we envisioned either for ourselves or our children doesn't go the way we expect and of course it can leave us feeling a bit sad. Your son seems happy if he is looking to prolong his stay.

Awful that your plans were scuppered to see him and really glad your Dh is okay after covid. This thread is for anyone who wants to be on it. I see it as a place to catch up with other Mums (I am assuming we are all Mothers) who have children who went through the Oxbridge process or who have imparted some incredible words of wisdom to us. It truly was lovely to see your name again on here.

@BigWoollyJumpers seems like your family have dodged some covid bullets there and sorry that the driving palaver continues as it does for @Stillcrikey and @SeasonFinale. What a year it has been for driving lessons/test fiascoes all round.

My FIL's PCR came back positive yesterday so a fast turnaround; PCR was Sunday 1pm, PCR result Tues morning 10am. He was so shocked. He definitely doubted the LFTs. He is still feeling okay, just a weak cold. He has been binge watching Star Trek on Netflix via SIL's account and he also has some new books for Christmas so he is happy to be confined at home!

@BigWoollyJumpers I can understand you feeling sad because we want them home as much as possible over the Christmas holidays.

We have DD’s BF staying with us for 3 days so no revision is getting done which is stressing me about it as DD said she didn’t have time to revise everything in time for her exams! Did try saying something before but she just gets annoyed with me.

*stressing me out I meant!

@BigWoollyJumpers it was midlife's DS

@Majaso12 oh dear - are you in for quite a ride this year! I don't envy your position as being the observer. Not sure how you should approach it

I’m not allowed to mention revision now which I’m finding very difficult! She said she knows what she’s doing, but I’m not so sure when she’s taking all these days off after saying she doesn’t have enough time to get through it all.

The tale of @MidLifeCrisis007 driving DS from London/Hampshire/Isle of Wight? was simply amazing.

@Majaso12 I really feel for you and I'm not sure it will get any easier if your DD is set on living with BF next year at uni.

For us covid has visited our house this Christmas and my DD is holding the fort! My DH thought it hilarious to put a police 'do not enter' sign on our bedroom door as I was first to isolate. He had now tested positive and is relegated to the spare room. DD is saying that she can home to be fed and now she is the feeder!
So much covid around I think it was inevitable and thankfully we both have relatively mild symptoms at the moment.

Sorry so many typos!

Are everyone else’s DDs and DSs revising every day or most days over the Christmas holidays except Christmas Day and Boxing Day who have exams in January? I assumed that’s what DD would have done. She started on the first Monday and has had Christmas and Boxing Day and 3 days BF has been here off, although she did an hour before he arrived.

@Majaso12 I can completely understand your concern.

Ds has 1 exam in January but it doesn't count toward his first year grade. He is currently doing work for a different element of his course which does count toward his first year grade and is 50% of it. So no this "holiday" has not really felt like a holiday at all for him. He has taken breaks but not full days apart from Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

He will be working on stuff until we take him back some of which is maths revision for the exam. He prioritised this as more important plus now with FIL testing positive for Covid he is concerned he will be poorly.

I meant prioritised the 50% one.

@Majaso12 I feel your pain. DS is working every day, a mix of revision and catching up on lectures- I must admit I was a bit surprised by how much he's having to work but he is planning on a few breaks over NYEve. He has a uni friend arriving tomorrow to spend New Years with us so that'll be lovely.

@BigWoollyJumpers sorry to hear about the driving test - I agree with all of you who've said our dc had it tough with timings. DS got incredibly lucky getting a test date the week before he left for uni and this week we've paid for a pass plus course for him so he can get some actual driving practice in as he basically passed then left for uni...

@Tenpastseven sage advice there as always from @chopc - I hope whatever your DS decides it's the right thing for him, but I do absolutely appreciate how unsettling it must all be.

@Pumpkintopf. Sounds like your ds is doing more than my dd. Did your ds work Christmas Day and Boxing Day as well and is he working all day? Sorry to ask so many questions, but I’m getting quite worried about it. In sixth form, when she had exams coming up or mocks, she didn’t take any days off (except Christmas day and Boxing Day) so I can’t understand why she is now. The days she has been revising, she’s not getting up until 10 at the earliest and isn’t starting work until gone 11.

@Majaso12 my DS not doing any work over the holidays as no exams in Jan.

However for your own sanity I think perhaps step back. She knew how to get the grades to get into Imperial so perhaps trust she may know what she is doing. Even if you feel she is carried away with her boyfriend and all the emotions that comes with it, if she lets her work go, she needs to learn from that mistake

I am saying this as someone who was in that position after a breakup. It took doing badly in a set of exams and asked to visit the course tutor for me to realise I am not going to mess my future up for any guy

@chopc. Thanks, I know you’re right. That’s what dh is doing but I’m finding it difficult to. She has a meltdown a few days about how stressed she is about these exams so it makes no sense to me to have days off. She said she’d still do work while BF was here but hasn’t so far. I’m not allowed to mention revision anymore so can’t say when he goes home tonight, maybe you should do some tonight straight after he’s left.