How important is living in in the 1st year?

hooladeda · 2021-05-16T07:51:38+00:00

DD wants to go to a fairly local University and commute for the first year, then look at staying in halls for the second. Although this is fine by us, I worry that she will miss out socially by not living in, and wonder if she should book halls but come home if she wants to (although I can imagine DH wouldn't be happy as we'd have to top up her maintenance loan for her to stay in halls!) Any advice? Thank you

titchy · 16/05/2021 10:18

Agree with you! If she's not in halls for the first year, she'll be relying on clubs and course lectures to meet people. Those people will then be house sharing next year, not living in halls with a bunch of freshers!

wooliewoo · 16/05/2021 13:15

Depends what year she's going. This years first years have met virtually no-one on their courses or through societies as everything been online and lots university buildings closed to students. No-one yet know what next year will look like!
So my DD has hugely benefited from being in halls as she's lived and socialised with others her own age which couldn't have happened this year if she'd been at home.
If you're looking at couple years away then your DD may have better chance to get to know people through in person lectures and societies, but I wouldn't bank on that for this September.
Bear in mind too that most universities prioritise 1st years for university accommodation.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 13:18

I think it makes it very difficult to integrate to be honest. Most friendships are formed with them all living together, and for both me and my daughter those were the folks we went on to live with in our second and third years, the kids who live out are always on the fringes of it.

KM38 · 16/05/2021 13:25

Halls when I was at uni a few years ago was mainly 1st years. After that everyone tended to move to flat shares with people they had shared halls with in first year.

My friend lived at home and commuted to uni (although did that for 4 years) and I moved up from first year. Same uni, about 55 mins by train from home. I have an amazing group of friends from uni that I met in halls and lived with the whole way through ❤️ We’re now at the marriage and babies stage, don’t see each other as often as we’re all over the country but keep in touch as often as we can and it’s amazing when we can meet up. Partners and babies all join in too!
My friend on the other hand isn’t in touch with anyone she met at uni 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d definitely encourage anyone to move. It’s a great learning experience learning how to live with lots of different types of people too 😊

Willdoitlater · 16/05/2021 16:25

She really must leave home and live in halls (or self catering uni flats) if she doesn’t want to miss out on the best most important opportunity to meet people and mature that she'll ever have in her life. Its utterly life-enhancing. She might not even be eligible for uni accommodation after year 1 (depending on the uni). She also might not be eligible if she goes to her 'home town' uni. I'd encourage everyone to leave home and home town for uni.

RampantIvy · 16/05/2021 22:28

I agree with everyone. DD is in her second year and is sharing with the friends she made in halls in her first year. She is sharing with three out of the seven in her current house for next year (smaller house next year)

LettyLoman · 17/05/2021 08:54

I think students need to live away from home. Getting themselves up in mornings, staying out late at night without having to follow parents rules, bringing friends back and playing lots music, deciding to go to a bar for last orders. I loved all of this and more but I don’t want to live through it again! That’s for halls/house sharing.

VanCleefArpels · 17/05/2021 09:58

Agree with PP. but also check eligibility for halls if you live close by - some places will not allocate space on campus if you live in nearby postcodes. The idea of meeting people in lectures etc is all well and good until you realise that only a small proportion of the cohort even go to lectures, and some places look like they will be permanently moving lectures online anyway as it’s far more efficient than having hundreds of people crammed into a hall. It’s far better to live in halls the first year

ClerkMaxwell · 17/05/2021 11:02

It might not be as important if there is a reasonable proportion of commuting students. DS2 stayed at home (Glasgow uni) and made friends via course, sports and societies. I would say apart from freshers week he has had a similar experience socially as DD who stayed in halls. Just because you stay at home doesn't mean you can't go to events. However DS2 is very sociable and we stay fairly close with good transport (night buses and cheap uber shares). DS2 graduates this year and we've saved a fortune compared to DD (we pay DDs accommodation)

PresentingPercy · 18/05/2021 09:34

If anything returns to normal, having parties in the hall and very late nights tend to exclude day students. They tend to end up not invited. They might go to societies but are they part of the socialising crowd if they don’t live with them? The whole experience is different!

Also what university gives hall rooms to second years? Other than Oxbridge it’s surely rare. First years have priority. Shame your DH hasn’t factored in DDs expenses. Shame she didn’t go further away and force the issue.

user1487194234 · 18/05/2021 21:46

IME if they stay in halls it’s a completely different experience than if they stay at home
When I was at Glasgow 25 years ago we felt really sorry for the students that stayed at home,they missed out on so much

CovidCorvid · 19/05/2021 07:09

Dd chose to live at home. We did say if she wanted to go into halls she could but she didn’t want to.

She’s made plenty of friends from various societies. Not so many from her course....she reckons they’re all a bit odd. She has a car so can drive herself to and from peoples houses at any time (probably helps that she doesn’t drink). She stays over at peoples houses quite a bit.

CovidCorvid · 19/05/2021 07:11

Oh and one thing to consider if they do live at home is them coming back late at night and waking you up....Dd came home at 1.30 last night and woke me up! 😫

user1487194234 · 19/05/2021 07:19

Obviously some people will be happy enough to stay at home,but overall the experiences are completely different

Kazzyhoward · 19/05/2021 07:29

@Bluntness100

I think it makes it very difficult to integrate to be honest. Most friendships are formed with them all living together, and for both me and my daughter those were the folks we went on to live with in our second and third years, the kids who live out are always on the fringes of it.

In normal times, yes. But our DS is in his first year. He's only met his 7 flatmates. He's not "met" anyone from his course, clubs & societies havn't operated, even the gym has been closed most of the year. None of his lecturers have set foot on campus, not even when allowed, so he's had no F2F sessions where he could meet even a few course mates. The campus security have been over-zealous and stopped people from different flats getting together, even outside in open air during the day (it's their campus, their rules apparently). His flat aren't moving in together for year 2 - only 2 or 3 "gelled" and are moving in together - the rest of them are going their separate ways. So basically, he's coming out of year 1 in the same situation as he went in - not made any friends, not met his course mates, not met his lecturers, etc. There really wasn't any point in his wasting over £6k to live on campus. From what some Unis are saying (or not saying), things may not be much better next year.

Kazzyhoward · 19/05/2021 07:36

@Willdoitlater

She really must leave home and live in halls (or self catering uni flats) if she doesn’t want to miss out on the best most important opportunity to meet people and mature that she'll ever have in her life. Its utterly life-enhancing. She might not even be eligible for uni accommodation after year 1 (depending on the uni). She also might not be eligible if she goes to her 'home town' uni. I'd encourage everyone to leave home and home town for uni.

In normal times, yes, but this last year, and potentially next year, have been pretty grim for students living in halls with not only the governmental restrictions/lockdowns, but also some Unis who've gone above and beyond the rules/laws to basically keep students in their halls/flats and not allow them to meet others at all.

PresentingPercy · 19/05/2021 08:09

If you don’t meet course mates and don’t meet anyone in halls then who do you live with next year? No one presumably.

In halls you have a chance to make friends. My DN had no problem and is moving in a group of 6. 2 are moving in with other friends they have made. Yes, it’s not been great and not what they thought it would be but it was better than being at home and not having a chance to make friends!

user1487194234 · 19/05/2021 08:46

The first years this year did have a terrible start but over the year all the ones I know did end up having a reasonable time and are palled up for flats for next year
I feel sorry for the ones to stayed home stuck in their bedrooms ,not meeting anyone
Hopefully next year will be better for everyone

TeaAlwaysTea · 19/05/2021 09:17

We told Ds that if he chose our local RG uni that we would of course fund him to live in halls for at least the first year. That is where we felt he would make friends, have a "uni experience" rather than having to come home all the time.

The main thing is stuff like between lectures we used to go to our flat common room for a couple of hours when I was at uni. Or go there to make some lunch.

You need mates in your first year to know who to live with in your second year and I would say that you at least need to see how they live before committing to living with someone who has a mould infested coffee cup in their room for weeks on end

bigTillyMint · 19/05/2021 11:41

If your DD feels that living in halls would be too big a step for her, then she may well be best staying at home and seeing if she finds friends who she would be comfortable living with as everyone is thrown in together in halls and it’s quite a steep learning curve!

I think a lot depends on where she goes to uni. In London quite a lot who already live in London, live at home and many of the students in halls are overseas students. And there are definitely students all over the place who choose to stay at home for financial reasons.

Seeline · 19/05/2021 11:47

My DS has had a great first year in halls. Has made lots of friends from his halls. THey seemed to get round campus security. Had a couple of F2F sessions early on so has met some course mates, but hasn't had a chance to get to know them at all. No societies on either.

He is moving into a house with his 5 flatmates next term.

I really think the living away from home element of uni is very important.

Seeline · 19/05/2021 11:49

Most uni's do not really allow 2nd years to have accommodation in halls - there just isn't enough. Some get cheap accommodation by being ambassadors/mentors etc to the Freshers, but if she hasn't had the experience herself, I'm not sure she'd be the best choice for such a role.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 19/05/2021 11:55

In normal times staying in halls is really important.

But if there is any chance the coming academic year will be like this one, I'm not so sure. Being stuck in a tiny room and having to eat on your own, being policed when you walk in and out of halls etc. Some halls don't allow overnight visitors even outside covid times. A lot will depend on the type of halls, the attitude of the uni concerned and also on your hobbies. I'd have thought that if you eg joined the university running club you'd have an instant set of friends and acquaintances.

Kazzyhoward · 19/05/2021 15:54

@TeaAlwaysTea The main thing is stuff like between lectures we used to go to our flat common room for a couple of hours when I was at uni. Or go there to make some lunch.

Trouble is that some Unis have kept their common rooms closed and locked all year. My son chose a college Uni because he liked the common rooms which had an Xbox, wide screen TV, lounge areas, pool table, etc., but no one has been allowed in this year. They don't have "communal" areas in their flats - just a tiny kitchen to share between 8 of them that had a table for 4! In "normal" times, yes, living on campus is good, but in Covid times, not so good at all.

TeaAlwaysTea · 19/05/2021 16:23

@Kazzyhoward that is sad keeping them closed and does rob you of part of your uni experience. My flat was one of 8 and we had a kitchen with enough seating for 8 and also each set of flats also had a common room so it was only our flat group who used it. I am going back a bit to the 90s. Now they would have that space as more flats I am sure.

I still think it is better to live in for first year as you can return to your room rather if needed.

I hope your son has a better time next year Kazzy.