What it's really been like for 1st years this year? Made any friends?

[kintigsullor]

One of my DC is starting at university in September if all goes according to plan and is wondering what it has been like for 1st years this year? They have already been told lectures at no1 choice will be online. It's a long way from home and he wonders what's it been like socially?

Grim socially really!
My 1st year has been lucky as flatmates get on well so that's been the saving grace. Has allowed her to live with people own age and develop some independence. Others who don't get on with flatmates have packed up and gone home.

But all clubs, societies etc are online. Libraries closed, university buildings have been like ghost town.There's very little opportunity to get to know people from course as everyone is doing lectures from their bedroom with camera off.

Some universities have made more effort than others to provide opportunities for students to meet or work on projects together.

Hopefully will be better next year but reckon lots will still be online. I think some universities are still very wary of having students on campus.
Just be aware if university says it's blended that won't mean anything like 50% in person teaching!

Yep, DS is in his first year and it has been really grim for him. He isn't a drinker/party person and isn't into the team sports, so was relying on meeting people during lectures/tutorials, his college, and the non sports clubs & societies.

He's only "met" the other 7 in his flat. He gets on with them well enough but they have nothing in common so it's more a matter of pleasantries when they're around rather than proper friendships.

Going to a college Uni was very important for him as he knew he'd struggle to meet people outside parties/team sports, but it's been a complete damp squib - all the benefits of being in a college haven't happened, i.e. common room closed/locked, no inter-college competitions, etc. It's actually worse because the flats are tiny and don't have any communal areas except the tiny kitchens because it's a college and in "normal" times, you'd have been able to socialise in the common rooms, which have snooker tables, widescreen TVs, lounge areas, Xbox stations etc - all gathering dust as they're not allowed in, even in their flat "household" bubbles.

He really wishes he hadn't bothered going and it's in the balance whether he'll go back in September.

My DS seems to have been OK. He was lucky to have some f2f stuff early on so managed to meet some course mates. He has got on really well with the other lads in his halls flat, and has also made friends with others in neighbouring flats. He had already returned after Christmas when the last lockdown was announced so decided to stay there. He is sad that none of the societies were really operating, and has obviously missed out on all the drinking and clubbing, but seems to have had a good time. Definitely hoping for a bit more freedom next year. He is moving into a house with his current flatmates.

Badbadbunny that's really tough. Do you think the same restrictions will apply next year or will things be open, just online (blended) learning?

Seeline that's interesting and good news. Can you share which uni?

UWE

It's been hell. Between the 8 of us friends with a 1st year uni student, 7 had mental health crises, 4 of which were severe.

Not met a single coursemate, not made friends to live with in Y2, not been on campus at all, no socialising, no clubs or societies beyond stupid Zoom things, other students getting drunk and trashing the flats in frustration... it's been so hard to see them suffer.

I dearly hope next year will be much better.

It's been shit for my DS tbh.

DS has had a remarkably good time considering.

He's in halls and has made loads of friends and done lots of drinking and socialising in flats in the halls. Yes, they shouldn't of been mixing between flats but they all had Covid back in October (literally over 90% of the 1700 people in the halls) and.....they are 18!

So it has been fine in some ways, but the Universities have got off very lightly in all of this imho. No reduction in fees, no inclination to get back to proper teaching, they have also been fining students for mixing (paid to the Uni) a LOT. Making more money out of it doesn't sit well with me.

We pay £££ for DD to live in halls. She & we would have been so miserable if she stayed at home for studies; but we would have saved a lot of money. She has enjoyed it, made friends & is trying to find a house with one for 2nd year accommodation. This was a key reason I wanted her to live away, too.

Someone I met is attending local Uni & says she feels completely disconnected from her peer group since so little socialising, but she'll keep living at home in term time anyway, so it's all working out ok for now.

I hope this September starters can get a 'normal' experience.

DD made a few friends 1st semester in her household bubble, but only a few in person tutorials before Christmas. Scottish govt told them not to go back after Christmas so she & her friends all followed the advice (although many did go back to her uni with no repercussions) so she’s been home since then. So a fairly crap first year. She’s just hoping there are more opportunities for socialising come September.

It’s been pretty rubbish. DS came home in December and has been here since. He did make some friend from his flat and some of them have booked a house together for next year so he is at least sorted for that.

He had his final exam of the year on Monday and finished his assignments so he is done now for the year.

He’s seemed ok as he’s happy in his own company but I feel so sorry for them. He had a school friend come to stay a couple of weeks ago for a couple of nights which was great. Breaking the rules but I really didn’t care. It was really good for him.

On the positive side the uni haven’t billed for the accommodation they couldn’t use so he saves some money that way.

@hamstersarse

DS has had a remarkably good time considering.

He's in halls and has made loads of friends and done lots of drinking and socialising in flats in the halls. Yes, they shouldn't of been mixing between flats but they all had Covid back in October (literally over 90% of the 1700 people in the halls) and.....they are 18!

So it has been fine in some ways, but the Universities have got off very lightly in all of this imho. No reduction in fees, no inclination to get back to proper teaching, they have also been fining students for mixing (paid to the Uni) a LOT. Making more money out of it doesn't sit well with me.

The point re making "more" money doesn't sit well with my DS either. His Uni tried to charge £18 per day for a food parcel when isolating. They insisted he had to pay the college fee despite their being no college facilities available. They're not giving full refunds for unused campus accommodation either, so DS is expected to pay the difference between the normal cost and the lower discount/rebate even though he wasn't allowed to go to use it. He still has to pay for parking despite their being barely any staff and all the car parks being virtually empty all the time. Some Unis have definitely done better than others and unfortunately, some are just money-grabbing from the poor students.

DS is lucky to be in a large flat where everyone gets on, and has been there all year barring 4 weeks over Christmas. They decided ages ago to house-share next year, in the absence of making course or society friends.

Everything is opening up again, he’s just described it as a belated freshers week, meeting friends of friends and more people in halls, but still no coursemates. Balancing the opportunities to socialise with end of year exams is hard though.

DD feels very lucky that her 'housemates' at college are all so nice. The college arranged housing so freshers in same/similar degrees would share, which worked for her. Mostly girls in her group. Obviously they feel they've missed out a lot on the common room antics and socialising outside their group.
She is sad that she hasn't really met people on her course besides the household. It's the casual socialising - chatting after a lecture, going for a coffee to meet a larger group of interesting people. Not to mention all the people studying other things! Hoping that changes soon. She's been so busy working since she got back I've hardly heard a peep but having a FaceTime tonight. ❤️
Was really excited about clubs and sport, but obviously doing it all on Zoom paled. Hoping everything revs up now and they get to spread their wings more. She was home after Christmas, which was sad, but she used the time to focus on the academics. Hoping this term is a better balance of work and play.

My DC finds it okay, but only because they are lucky in a number of respects:

1. shared flat with seven flatmates and a nice big common area - the downside being that the two party-animal flatmates had infected the whole lot of them with Covid within ONE WEEK of moving in!
2. though classes have been online, they are interactive and the students sort-of get to know one another that way and do projects together, and a few of them have met up in the park individually. They're all on a group chat
3. DC happens to be very outgoing and sociable and was able to make the most of the few opportunities that arose. Plus they are a few years older than the other freshers, and the maturity makes it easier.

BUT they are conscious that it could have been so much better. And very conscious that it has been far tougher for most other freshers.

BTW my DC predicts that the autumn will bring a phenomenon they've christened "double freshers". The second years will go a bit mad jumping in to all the social opportunities which they missed in their first year, and it will seem as if two-thirds of the student body is made up of freshers.

DC has enjoyed it. Few weeks of grimsville Jan Feb : tbh it wouldn't have mattered if he had been at home or in halls, equally grim. But since April he has been fine. 12 flatmates, campus uni, small uni town
DD in London at home with local friends to walk with has been best off in the grimsville months, for Ds that wasn't an option, his new friends/acquaintances were all at uni. Tbh I don't think men do walk and talk meetups when it was just two allowed. Online lectures have been "fine" but not ideal
The worst has been the overreliance in his student peer group on drinking for stimulation. I think that has been the worst part of it mental health wise. Just so unhealthy for them to live like that. It was insane not to allow sport to the uni students, outside. Or group walks. It makes me angry that no-one thought through the effect on vulnerable young adults of having nothing to do but stare at screens

The overwhelming thing that has made a difference is the flatmates you got.

There have been differences with different places being in different tiers for part of the year so some allowed a little less restricted life that others.
I understand there were a few universities that literally wouldn't let students into their rooms, so that was restrictive, obviously.

Hundreds of thousands of students of just got on with it though.
Of course it has been different from previous years' students, but there is no point in comparing that as that wasn't the choice. The choice our 18 yr olds had was to go to University, get the first year of study done, and hope for some flatmates that you could get on well enough with vs stay at home, with no focus, not be able to see existing friends, and just have your parents (+ potentially younger sibling) for company. I know many, many students who are very glad they decided to go.

Hopefully this coming year, we will ALL be able to go out a lot more, and sports will open up and all the other opportunities to meet more people.

DD is in a six person flat. At most there were four of them at one time but by the end of last term they were down to two. She and her flatmate will be sharing a flat next year. There has been virtually no socialising in halls and only a few lectures on campus but she wouldn't have missed it for anything.

As a mum of a would-be September fresher, this is a depressing read.
I guess we can only hope things improve.

Dd is at local uni so lived as home. She hasn’t met anyone, not one person from her course or from uni. No support at all. It has been utter rubbish fir them all.

It's been awful. My daughter has only met about 8 of the people in her course and has had hardly any face to face contact in Uni. I wouldn't advise anyone to take up a place at Uni this September. Fever or take a nap year.

Gap year, not nap year! 😂

My Dd has made friends. Not from her course but she joined the drama society. They had weekly online sessions as well as an active WhatsApp group. She’s now out and about with people from the group a lot.