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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

DS offered scholarship! DH wants him to negotiate it?

63 replies

MiddleOfThePack · 26/04/2021 22:44

DS has been offered a scholarship at a London uni, which is great & we're really proud. It's for a uni that's actually his no.5 choice, so he may say no anyway.

Thing is that instead of just saying well done, DH now wants him to write back and say thanks, but can you up your offer?!

Do people actually do that or do you just say yes or no, as it's an honour to be offered one in the first place?

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 26/04/2021 23:47

DH sounds like a bit of a tit. No offence. They're not going to up it because these things are finite. They don't have the funds to respond to cheeky requests like that. You don't barter...you say thank you or no thank you.

Seafog · 26/04/2021 23:51

Top it up for what reason? Just because?!

GreyhoundG1rl · 26/04/2021 23:55

Your dh sounds like a right dick.

ErrolTheDragon · 26/04/2021 23:59

I've only ever heard of them being fixed sums.Confused

Where on earth did you DH get this idea from?

Susannahmoody · 27/04/2021 00:04

Does your DH actually know what he's talking about?

Sparklfairy · 27/04/2021 00:05

Oh dear. There's no point DH being greedy, there are plenty of other people they can offer the scholarship to!

MilduraS · 27/04/2021 00:12

I work at a uni and all of our scholarships are fixed sums from particular sources (mostly industry funded or privately funded from alumni). You'll either get someone's back up if they're having a bad day or it will give the office a good laugh but I can't imagine it will result in a higher offer.

TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 27/04/2021 00:14

Why does your DH think it's negotiable?

Wavypurple · 27/04/2021 00:21

I’m really not trying to be rude so I’m sorry if it comes across as such, but that’s not really how scholarships work.

Sounds as if your child is extremely bright to be offered this and extremely fortunate. No point in trying to negotiate whatsoever.

saraclara · 27/04/2021 00:32

Oh dear. What does your DH do for a living? Because he clearly doesn't have the first clue about education settings. Is he a used car salesman? Grin

TheGlassBlowersDaughter · 27/04/2021 00:56

@saraclara

Oh dear. What does your DH do for a living? Because he clearly doesn't have the first clue about education settings. Is he a used car salesman? Grin
Of course, because there are no corporate negotiators Hmm Mocking isn't attractive. He may be misguided. You're definitely a snob.
saraclara · 27/04/2021 01:05

Either I got my tone wrong, or you misread it, @TheGlassBlowersDaughter. I'm not remotely snobby since my relatives are mainly in manual jobs and I totally respect them for what they do and their work ethic. It just made me laugh that OP's DH thought the educational world worked like sales (or business or whatever field that negotiating monetary terms works for).

user1494050295 · 27/04/2021 03:10

Is it a scholarship based on academic ability or financial need? The uni o work for scholarships are based on the latter (the applicant has to have met the conditions of their offer). And no they won’t up it. It sounds like they are offering no your child a sweetener to get him to come

timeisnotaline · 27/04/2021 03:12

They don’t do that.

sergeilavrov · 27/04/2021 04:19

It’s possible your DH looked it up. In the US, you can negotiate. I did this for my undergrad and PhD, playing other scholarships and fellowships off against one another so I could identify the highest bidder. UK-based academic posters have indicated not so there. Squeaky wheels get the grease, so if there is a certain amount he needs to make it viable for him - tell them, he has nothing to lose.

KihoBebiluPute · 27/04/2021 04:25

Scholarships are not negotiable. There is a fixed sum of money available. The people who administer the scholarship aren't that fussed who gets the scholarship. Their chief duty is managing the relationship between the donor (either a wealthy individual, or a company which has allocated a budget towards supporting students in a relevant field as part of the corporate social responsibility programme) and all they want is an annual photo opportunity/paragraph in the donor magazine/maybe participation in a donor "thank yoi" event (if no pandemic happening) and tbh one scholarship recipient is very much interchangeable with the next most eligible candidate if your DS chooses to accept a place at another uni instead. They don't honestly mind if he turns it down, there will always be another candidate if the amount offered isn't enough of an inducement and they can't magic up more dosh.

Original poster
MiddleOfThePack · 27/04/2021 08:41

TheGlassBlowersDaughter: "Is he a used car salesman?"
you made me laugh! He should be! He's an "agile coach", (look it up as even I don't really understand what he does and I'm in IT too) so part of his role is to challenge everything.

Trouble is that this approach applies well in the IT industry but he insists on doing it in 'real life' too. Can be either really aggravating or really useful, as he will never just accept things for what they are. He just doesn't know when to just say "well done, son" and leave it at that.

All your comments just reinforced what I understood. Thanks all. It's an honour for DS and you just have to say yes or no.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 27/04/2021 08:43

Lol, what’s wrong with him then. 😂

No as others said it’s accept or decline, well done to your son though. And what a twat your husband is.

Xenia · 27/04/2021 09:57

No, people don't. The more important issue in my view is if a 5th choice is trying to tempt you in - firm and you have a definite place etc I would say reject it on principle. It is probably a poisoned chalice enticing you in to somewhere it will not help your CV to have.

KihoBebiluPute · 27/04/2021 10:19

@Xenia's point is certainly valid, and how relevant it is depends on the university and why it is your DS's 5th choice - mediocre universities are investing in offering these kinds of scholarships to tempt top-rate students who have a good chance at a place in a prestigious university, as that will boost their own prestiege in the end. That said, the prestigious universities can also offer scholarships - it's an emerging market in bidding for the brightest and best students (but not a market that welcomes haggling!)

Xenia · 27/04/2021 12:40

yes, depends if it is the traditional Oxbridge 7th term EE offer - we want you whatever and you will go to the best place in the land or it is the modern ex poly we know you don't want London Met on your CV rather than Durham or LSE but firm us as we could not care what grades you get.

So if 5th choice but is a top 5 university and it will not mean you slack off from A level work then fine, if not may be not fine. (Although all that is subject to 2021 and 2020 being special years with no normal exams)

People slacking off because they have a confirmed place should also remember some law firms and other employers do look at A level grades not just at whether you got a good degree.

Ninkanink · 27/04/2021 12:43

Oh god what a numpty.

murasaki · 27/04/2021 12:46

Hahaha, this is the best laugh I have had all day (as an HE person).

themalamander · 27/04/2021 12:47

Oh god. Your husband sounds like the knobhead men I get trying to negotiate down the price of everything I make. I work in the arts, I'm very popular and my stuff sells very well, but I still get (almost always) men playing the big man and doing the idiotic "I'm walking away; this is your last chance for a sale" nonsense. There are 10 people waiting to pay full price behind every one of those twits which expect me to chase after them and sell at a massive discount.

He wants your son to negotiate a larger scholarship? Why? There will be a hundred kids just as good as your son who are happy to take the money and if you piss about with the uni, they'll just withdraw it. What an idiot.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/04/2021 12:48

yes, depends if it is the traditional Oxbridge 7th term EE offer - we want you whatever and you will go to the best place in the land

I'm not sure much like that exists now. The applicant to offer ratio at 'top unis' is high, they really don't need to offer inducements.

The scholarships most worth having are perhaps of the type they actively apply for, which may give useful links to the sponsoring organisation eg more likely to get internships, the cash is almost of secondary importance. They're nothing to do with uni offers.