Deferred Nursing and now have regrets, any advice please?

[bingsulaflop]

Hello,

I'm just wanting another person's perspective and advice on this please.

I started an Adult Nursing course September 2020 and did my first placement for a couple of weeks and felt totally out of my depth. As to not drip feed I was a SAHM before this (DS is now nearly 3) and he was in nursery 4 days a week.

The mix of being away from DS for sometimes 3-4 days at a time took its toll and caused me to be upset and want to leave. Now thinking about it there was other reasons - I loved the course and could see myself doing that and felt like I was really achieving so much for mine and my little ones future. But soon I got really hung up on confidence issues (I have major anxiety and general confidence issues in anyways) so I know this contributed. I didn't meet my mentor like I was hoping and usually you're meant to (they're your support and shadow on the placement) and I just felt totally lost.

I have only deferred my place and I'm currently working for a care home doing administration until I figure out what to do, but the thoughts of wanting to return to university are something that's on my mind every day. I know hindsight can teach you so much and I regret leaving. My problem is thinking what if it gets too much again?
I feel if I went back (I would just be returning to do the course all over again) then what if it's too much again.

I was only in year 1 of the course just for reference.

Any advice or outside views would be wonderful!

Nursing is full on. Student nursing more so as you are completely at the whim of the placement schedule etc. When I first returned from mat leave I had deferred a year as my choice was either 6 weeks off or 52, and so I picked a year. My first placement back, I used to have to do 2 long days in a row, which meant not seeing my DC awake for a 60 hour stretch, then a day off and then another long day. It was hard at first but I got used to it because the alternative was giving up nursing, which I didn’t want to do.

As far as I see it, your options are
Return to study and finish degree, managing childcare to complete placements and then either working in a community setting or reduced hours hospital employment if you need to, although obviously if by that point you are ready for full time then crack on!

Continue working for care home until you have more experience of basic care and your DC are older so you feel more prepared mentally for study, and then return to study ... a delay of one to however many years

Don’t return to study.

With regards the mentor, people put a lot of stock in what they can do for students but you do need to find your own confidence, resilience and motivation because you will have good and bad PAs and your own capacity to get through some placements will be most important.

I loved being a student nurse... remember a lot of confidence comes with time and I certainly was not as confident or competent in my first year as my third year, and you do need to manage your expectations of youreelf too!

Awareswolf puts it better than I can. Fully agree with the post above.

Nursing hours and work are gruelling with a young child, let alone being a student nurse. The job itself is incredibly stressful. Of course don’t give it up without thinking long and hard about it but I would never advise nursing as a family friendly profession. It’s not as if the hours become any better once you qualify, unless you can find a job where the hours work for you (rare). Some people do prefer the shifts and the hours but many are trying to escape!

That said, you have your place and if you really want to go back you could see how it goes. There has been a rise in applicants since Covid so I would hang onto your place rather than give up if you think you might go back. Of course there are also a huge number of nurses trying to leave the profession so make of that what you will.

(I’m a HCP who got out due to the stress and the hours into a slightly different job as I found the hours completely incompatible with kids).

Nursing is a really tough course, even more so with young children.

I did it before I had my children many years ago and it has been an amazing career although I’m desperate to leave now🤯

I trained with people who had young children and have met plenty along the way and mentored student nurses with young dc’s. It makes it more challenging so I guess it’s how much you want it.

Confidence comes with time. It can be difficult to find your feet at first and assert yourself when you first start but as a student nurse you really do have to be in charge of your own learning and take the initiative in accessing learning opportunities. I have students a lot and am also a charge nurse on an incredibly busy ward with other managerial responsibilities so lots of stuff on my plate. I’m in mental health so it’s different but I do expect students to spend time directly with patients, developing communication and assessment skills as well as working alongside me or another nurse for things like medication rounds, ward reviews etc.

The previous target for students to spend 40% of their time with their mentor isn’t there anymore so you may not spend much time at all with them. We have now been renamed Practice assessors as well. You will also have practice supervisors who can be anyone on the ward who has done the course.

Having mulled it over, as you have a deferred place I would go back and give it all I’ve got as it’s a competitive course and you may regret it if you don’t.

Thank you both so much!

@Awarsewolf @TooStressyTooMessy

I was hoping for others that may have experienced the student nursing with children juggle!

I keep thinking that I'm so lucky to have my place, why not complete the degree and see what doors open up afterwards.
I luckily have good and strong experience in administration so I have that as a fall back but I'd like to explore what career opportunities there are with a nursing degree. I actually like the idea of community and know the hours are long but my DS will be in school by next year and I don't want to get to mid 30's wandering what if (I'm 26 just for reference) so could be finished the degree before I'm 30

Thank you also @CosmicComfort

You have exactly hit the nail on the head, I know it opens opportunities and is something that can be a worthwhile career.

I have so much social anxiety that the thought of pushing myself out of my comfort zone fills me with dread but is the only way to learn (if that makes sense)

I’m not sure how much traffic this board gets OP, might be worth posting / moving this in chat or AIBU to get some more responses. I only saw it as it came onto active threads. Unless as you say, you want student nurses in particular.