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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Has your DC met anyone on their course yet?

49 replies

Mumfordsson · 13/03/2021 10:54

My DD is back in halls now but still having remote lectures/seminars. She has a great set of flatmates and they all plan to live together next year, but none of them are on her course.
When she has small seminars, no one turns their cameras on, so she has no idea what anyone looks like!
Spoke to her yesterday and she has a couple of hard essays to do over Easter, but no one to talk to about them!
Surely they should be put into small groups by tutors to allow some interaction? She feels completely alone on her course and is half way through the year! I feel so sad for her!
Are your DCs interacting with people on their courses?

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 13/03/2021 11:13

I think you should ask about this in AIBU because it seems so obvious that the tutors need to encourage cameras on at least SOME of the time!

DingoWings · 13/03/2021 23:25

Not really. She's quite sociable and kept in touch with one girl who she met at an open day; has met up with her for a walk a couple of times. But she hasn't met any others on the course yet.
They only had perhaps five hours of in-person teaching at the start of the autumn term, since then it's all been online and as you say, with cameras off.
It's really not good, having no one to bounce ideas off. University is supposed to be learning through discourse, and they're not getting that at all.
I also think she'd have made better friends with those on her course as they're more likely to have similar interests and values.
Really hoping for some more normality in September but not holding my breath (from what I'm hearing from friends who work in universities).

Stirmecrazy · 13/03/2021 23:33

My DD has a more practical degree involving hands on experience so has been allocated into a bubble so has met at least some of her course members. I find it incredible that students might still not have met any of their course members two terms on . It’s crazy as PP have said a lot of benefit from doing the course is about sharing ideas and supporting each other, to not be able to fully access this is really disheartening

ShaunaTheSheep · 14/03/2021 07:41

DS met one person at a social event early on. He’s has two seminars f2f. They have group projects so coursemates have had to interact online. One flatmate is on a similar course that shares first year lectures so they study together sometimes. And he’s in a society which, I assume, may have other coursemates in, but this is also online at present.

So to answer your question, no, not really. But labs and practicals start very soon, so hopefully that will change soon. Outdoor sport should start up soon, and he has a great bunch of flatmates that are sharing houses from July. So not too bad considering the circumstances.

TheDrsDocMartens · 14/03/2021 07:55

Dd2 has met people online from one half of her course (dual honours) but the other half is cameras off and much harder to interact.

Xenia · 14/03/2021 09:37

No. Not so bad for my twins who are law post grad and have friends but appalling for freshers. The sooner there are lots of specific face to face course events put on the better.

My twins have not met a single person on their courses all year (other than the other twin and a friend from school they already know doing the same course and the course ends after the mid April exams so that is 100% of the year - might as well have signed up for the online version of the course - the one doing the London version (same course) has paid (or rather I have paid) about £4000 more for being in London for exactly the same course people are taking online in Leeds by the same instititution)

uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 14/03/2021 09:48

I'm at uni and I haven't met any of my fellow course students. I am older and have my own home but non of the others have met each other either. We do very very occasionally need to turn our cameras on but usually in small "breakout" groups or when we've had to do role play exercises. So I have seen some of my year group but only maybe 6/7 out of 40. I can probably only name around 12 out of the 40 too and that's only due to a WhatsApp group we are in.

It's shit and very isolating. I'm so glad I've got my own life and am living at home. I really really feel for the younger ones, living away from home in halls/apartments.

GCAcademic · 14/03/2021 10:36

@FortunesFave

I think you should ask about this in AIBU because it seems so obvious that the tutors need to encourage cameras on at least SOME of the time!
Believe me, we try. Some students simply will not turn their cameras on. Others will disappear when you send them to breakout rooms.

My students have met each other, though, as we did face-to-face teaching all through the autumn term, until the lockdown.

SidLowe · 14/03/2021 10:39

My ds has had no face to face at all.

He has been in break out rooms and 'met' people in them. A couple of these he's actually met for a walk.

MarchingFrogs · 14/03/2021 11:30

@SidLowe, do you get the impression from your DS that that is the normal? It would strike me as a really obvious thing to do, but the general impression I am getting is that it is almost unheard of.

DD is currently a second year, so did have the luxury of a normal first and most of second term last academic year. She also kept / keeps in regular contact with home friends at other universities. DS2 will be going to university this September and although a bit of a recluse, physically, at home, chats happily with irl friends and people he has 'met' on Instagram etc through displaying his artwork online - and says that the occasions during remote learning when the teacher has insisted on cameras being on 'really weren't that bad'. I find it odd that people wouldn't want to make more effort to interact, in whatever way they can.

SidLowe · 14/03/2021 11:54

I'm not sure! He's asked three people and they've all said yes and met more than once, maybe he's just been lucky?

chopc · 14/03/2021 12:08

@DingoWings why would your friends who work in Universities think that things won't be better in Sept? All adults will be vaccinated by then, we will know a whole lot more about any ongoing schedules, have access to regular testing etc........

DingoWings · 14/03/2021 12:52

[quote chopc]@DingoWings why would your friends who work in Universities think that things won't be better in Sept? All adults will be vaccinated by then, we will know a whole lot more about any ongoing schedules, have access to regular testing etc........ [/quote]
No, all adults will have been offered a vaccine by then; that's quite a different thing to all adults being vaccinated. In some communities, vaccination rates are not much more than 50%.
Will staff and other students be happy to work in a university running at full capacity when they know that many colleagues and fellow students aren't vaccinated?
What happens if there's an outbreak?
And if everyone were vaccinated, it's not 100% effective, and we certainly don't know what we'll be facing in the winter in terms of different variants which may not respond in the same way to the jabs. Universities are still having to plan for all eventualities.

mumsneedwine · 14/03/2021 14:02

@DingoWings but schools are already operating at full capacity and that's over 2,000 people at mine. Kids get freshers flu every year and meningitis is another danger but we don't keep things closed because of these.
At some point Unis will need to return to normal or students won't go there. And those Unis will close. Already first years are telling year 13s their experiences and I know several who have turned down a certain Uni because of the way it's treated students this year.
Covid is never going away so we do need to learn to live with a certain level of risk - I say that as a teacher standing about 50cm away from 180 students every day. Unless I hover on the ceiling that's all I can do.

Hoghgyni · 14/03/2021 14:06

Boris gave a Twitter briefing yesterday in which he said that the Government will decide after Easter if students can go back to university in May or September. He has spectacularly moved the goal posts again.

EduCated · 14/03/2021 15:58

Universities are preparing Plan A for a full return, which I’m sure everyone hopes is the case. They’re also planning scenarios B to Z for whatever the hell September might look like by the time we get there.

Just because they’re planning for things to still be limited, doesn’t mean that’s what they want. But students won’t be impressed if universities aren’t prepared for these eventualities.

We saw how quickly restrictions could be imposed last year, it would be madness not to plan for the possibility of that happening again.

DingoWings · 14/03/2021 16:15

[quote mumsneedwine]@DingoWings but schools are already operating at full capacity and that's over 2,000 people at mine. Kids get freshers flu every year and meningitis is another danger but we don't keep things closed because of these.
At some point Unis will need to return to normal or students won't go there. And those Unis will close. Already first years are telling year 13s their experiences and I know several who have turned down a certain Uni because of the way it's treated students this year.
Covid is never going away so we do need to learn to live with a certain level of risk - I say that as a teacher standing about 50cm away from 180 students every day. Unless I hover on the ceiling that's all I can do. [/quote]
I didn't say they shouldn't open @mumsneedwine . I'm desperate for them to open and for DD to feel part of the place she has chosen to go, to meet her tutors and coursemates.

But they have to plan for them not being open, or for outbreaks of Covid when they do. As @EduCated says, all of these scenarios are possible / likely all through next year.

BackforGood · 14/03/2021 17:01

Like SidLowe, my dd met with some course mates for a coffee and for a walk in Sept and October.
She used a bit of initiative and asked other students on the course who wanted to, to message her their phone numbers and she made a WhatsApp group, then took it from there.
She said it's been really helpful as they've had assignments , projects etc.
But she has understood that they are adults and need to step out of their comfort zone a bit to be able to meet new people, and to take the initiative.

Kazzyhoward · 14/03/2021 17:12

[quote chopc]@DingoWings why would your friends who work in Universities think that things won't be better in Sept? All adults will be vaccinated by then, we will know a whole lot more about any ongoing schedules, have access to regular testing etc........ [/quote]
I agree. Can't think of any justification at all for Unis not being back to close to normal on their return in September. Any Unis that are not close to normal by then will face a lot of criticism. No justification at all, as like you say, all adults will have been invited for both their vaccinations by then if current rates continue. Yes, I can foresee some issues with foreign students having difficulties coming to the UK, but there's no justification for that causing UK students to have another crap year. Unis will have to find ways of supporting students unable to come to the UK.

Kazzyhoward · 14/03/2021 17:17

No, all adults will have been offered a vaccine by then; that's quite a different thing to all adults being vaccinated. In some communities, vaccination rates are not much more than 50%. Will staff and other students be happy to work in a university running at full capacity when they know that many colleagues and fellow students aren't vaccinated?

We can't stay hiding behind our sofas forever. People who've been vaccinated will be pretty safe regardless if it turns out estimated protection levels come to fruition - nothing is 100% safe! Those who refuse vaccinations need to piss or get off the pot - either return as normal or leave & do something else and let others take your job/place. There has to come a time when life returns to normal.

DingoWings · 14/03/2021 17:27

We can't stay hiding behind our sofas forever. People who've been vaccinated will be pretty safe regardless if it turns out estimated protection levels come to fruition - nothing is 100% safe! Those who refuse vaccinations need to piss or get off the pot - either return as normal or leave & do something else and let others take your job/place. There has to come a time when life returns to normal

I agree with you, but civil liberties and British law will not and cannot force people to get vaccinated.
The caveat is that if we end up with another "variant" dominant here, on which the vaccines we have given most of our population do not work. There HAS to be planning amongst Uni staff for ALL scenarios.

Needmoresleep · 14/03/2021 18:26

DD is taking a year out from her medicine course and is spending a year in London taking a BSc degree in a year. Its a lab subject but has has been entirely on line. Indeed some in her groups are not even in the country.

There are relatively few medics taking her options. Its mainly third year and Masters students, the former know each other, the latter don't. The only time she has had any contact has been when stuff is delivered. The University postroom mislaid something important so it is now sent to our house, and she takes it round to whoever is doing that bit of the lab work in their bedroom.

It is totally bizarre. The course is great and on the whole the others are bright, helpful and hardworking. But there is a huge missed opportunity in terms of networking. If she maintains her interest into her career she could well be working in a mixed team of medics and scientists. They could even be people from her course. But she won't know them.

In one tutorial the person leading it mentioned something about 'friends'. (It might have been in the context of some testing and not asking friends.) She was the only medic and pointed out she had no friends. The academic thought about it and then agreed. He had not realised that current rules preclude her from seeing anyone her own age, apart from an occasional walk.

The friend thing is difficult. At one point a group of three had to do a presentation,. One boy was lazy but popular. They essentially carried him through the group work. But his friends then lobbed them soft questions following the presentation. Tough for those who have yet to meet anyone.

Our wifi was down on Friday, and DD is facing a bunch of end of term deadlines. But when she checked the University library was closed. She ended up attending one tutorial sitting in her car parked outside a neighbours house, using the neighbour's wifi password.

Their teaching ends at Easter. She is resigned to getting a degree without having met a single person on her course.

LIZS · 14/03/2021 18:30

Dd met a few on one of her options early on when they had live tutorials but that was only for a couple of weeks before she had covid then it went virtual. She had also met a few on her course on a group chat and in rl once or twice but not recently. She's in Scotland so can now meet up to four outside.

Xenia · 14/03/2021 18:32

Yes, for freshers they are losing what I would put at about 60%+ of why you leave home for university and pay so very much money - the social, networking, clubs, growing up side. Older students like my twins are making zero connections. My daughter was saying how many good friends she made on her law conversion course about 10 years ago whoa re still friends today. Her friends chat to her still, some hire each other, they know each other etc. My twins know not a single person on their course. I suppose if they are in a live work shop from time to time they might take note of the other person's name but it is nothing like the same. So I hope in September their next law course is 100% face to face. Even the twin who does not contribute much in class whether at school or university was saying he hoped it would be face to face and that saying a lot from him as he is a master of doing as little as possible to get very high marks.

fiveoldteddies · 14/03/2021 19:46

dc1 (London) uni has already said lectures during first term will be online. Hoping turorlias will still be in small F2F groups asin September/October last year