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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

2017 seems so long ago, now they're fledgling graduates.

997 replies

latedecember1963 · 06/03/2021 17:31

4 years since A Levels and the wait for August and confirmation of where our chicks were about to fly the nest to.
It's been 4 years that has sprung a few surprises along the way, not least this lovely series of threads.

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bigTillyMint · 14/11/2021 13:30

Congratulations to your DS @Stopyourhavering64 - sounds like an ideal sitch to be able to go travelling too!

latedecember1963 · 16/11/2021 10:10

That's such a shame, Errol. 😞

Well done to your son, Stopyourhavouring!🥂 It's great that he can plan ahead.

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Eve · 21/11/2021 08:45

Congratulations to all those able to get to graduations, such a good excuse to dress up and well done on the job offers coming in.

DS is still on his year away & loving it, he’s finished his project in Italy measuring crabs & tracking wolves by hunting for wolf poo, did a few weeks on an Island in Croatia picking olives & being taught how to press them and is now in Slovenia helping redecorate a youth hostel. He’s loving Slovenia says it’s a country he would live in. Best bit is the travel , accommodation etc are all funded so he’s having quite a cheap time & meeting lots of others from all round the EU.

He burnt himself out getting his degree so good to see photos of him now putting weight on and looking relaxed and happy.

bigTillyMint · 21/11/2021 16:38

That sounds fab Eve!

ErrolTheDragon · 21/11/2021 16:59

That does sound brilliant, Eve!

Xenia · 21/11/2021 17:44

Sounds lovely. My older daughter had her only gap year after 32 year degree and 2 years of law school (and with her law job to come back to) and said having it at that older age was really nice as you are bit more mature. She went to Thailand, then worked a ski season in Whistler - we went out skiing there at the Xmas to see her, then ended up in Central American where she ended it and we met her in Panama for a holiday there too. Seems a long time ago now.

Meanwhile here on the home front the twins continue their law studies with nothing much to report and term ends around 20 Dec so another month to go by which time unless it is 2 weeks late my next grandchild will be with us "opening" the advent calendar with its mother......

latedecember1963 · 21/11/2021 18:04

That sounds great, Eve. I know what you mean about being relieved to see them enjoying life after a hard slog.
The baby anticipation must be getting exciting now, Xenia. Have you been making any handknits?

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Carriemac · 22/11/2021 08:19

Ooh new babies and gap year travels - lovely optimistic news at last .
Had a few days in London with DH at a conference and got upgraded to a suite in a fancy hotel- I treated it like a mini break and had such a lovely time walking around festive London and doing some indulgent Christmas shopping . I really appreciate travel now that we can again.

Xenia · 22/11/2021 09:15

Also my older son who has not been able to find an NHS dentist in Oxfordshire was here over night for an appointment first thing with our NHS one. Apparently unlike GPs NHS dentists are not based on where you live and once you are registered (which he has been here for 20 years) they are not allowed to take you off the list so at least he is safe, although his journey is 35 minute bus to Oxford (now he has no car), Oxford into a bit of outer London then 10 min tube to us and I collect him from tube station so about 3 hours rather than 1.5 driving. he also poor thing despite being an essential worker delivery food in the company van got 2 speeding tickets - £200 (about 20 hours' work) - because you have to drive 10 MPH under the speed limit on a some kinds of roads and he did not realise for that particular road. I am not paying that but I will pay his NHS charges which were £250 last time so probably about the same this time as it is two crowns over the next month.

latedecember1963 · 22/11/2021 09:55

The 10 MPH under the speed limit rule must be a nice money spinner. There are a few places near us that have decided certain lanes are for buses only, but only at certain times. Sometimes a camera car is parked nearby and has caught lots of people who were unaware. DH and I avoid those lanes at all times to be on the safe side.
I've got a dental checkup later today. The 1st in almost 2 years. We're NHS too and the practice only started seeing non emergencies in September and this is the 1st appointment I could get due to the backlog. We did consider switching to one of the private practises in order to be seen sooner but we have been with our dentist for nearly 30 years. DH's family have worked in the NHS since it's inception so we feel a loyalty to it which is probably a generational thing. I don't think our sons feel the same way.

Your London jaunt sounds lovely, Carriemac. DH used to work in London a lot and during the school holidays I would occasionally join him for a few days. Nothing like a bit of mooching round a museum, window shopping and a show in the evening.

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Horsemad · 22/11/2021 11:02

I'm sat in the dentist's waiting room right this minute! 😆

Xenia · 22/11/2021 11:26

Our NHS dentist saw the twins and me at the beginning of 2020 and then in December 2020, so not too big a covid gap although last summer they could not do root canal work for my older son for 6 months due to covid and gave antibiotics until I think it was late in 2020 they did the work. My doctor father worked fro the NHS almost since its inception as did his doctor brother so I certainly stick to that where I can (and we all pay vast amounts of tax into it anyway so good to get something back even if my son is being charged £250 per NHS crown/root canal work).

Good luck to everyone at the dentist today.

latedecember1963 · 22/11/2021 17:55

Hope it went ok, Horsemad, and for your son's treatment, Xenia. I've had a clean bill of health but she did recommend swapping to an electric toothbrush. I've got loads of points on my Boots Advantage card so they can go towards it.

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Horsemad · 22/11/2021 18:33

Mine recommended the same @latedecember1963! I need a filling replaced but have to go on a cancellation list as they are swamped with a backlog at the moment...

latedecember1963 · 22/11/2021 18:46

We must be twins separated at birth! 😁

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Horsemad · 22/11/2021 18:56

😆

Parker231 · 23/11/2021 08:26

Lovely to read of the graduations(very jealous) and gap year trips. I tried to persuade DT’s to take one before starting work.
We’ve now had DH’s party for leaving his GP practice. All the family flew in and lots of friends and his colleagues came. DFil and DT’s did a lovely speech- I cried !
DH’s have stayed on after the party for a couple of weeks. As we hadn’t seen them since the Christmas before lockdown it has been lovely to see them. I had to go to Paris for work but it’s done DH good to have long lie ins and taking his parents out for day trips.
DT’s are still enjoying their lives in Brussels and Amsterdam. They are busy at work and their ongoing studying. Looking forward to having a house full again at Christmas.

Needmoresleep · 23/11/2021 09:57

That sounds lovely Parker.

Are you sure he won't be tempted back into some p/t locum work? Both my cousin and his wife have as local practices are so short staffed, though they say it is easier without all the paperwork involved in running a practice. Do you have any grand plans?

I have been wondering how @Haffdonga DS is getting on. I think I saw on another thread that she has a second DS applying for medicine. I would not like to do that again.

My mother could be quite stubborn, and refused to take me to the dentist when I was a teenager as I was at boarding school and she felt it was the school's responsibility. At the same time I was avoiding school food and eating mainly sugar, so my teeth are awful. Central London NHS dentistry started to fail early (endless cancelled appointments and hopeless locums) and so we started commuting to a friends husband's practice. He was forced to go private but going outside London was cheaper than London and I was keen that DC grew up with good dentistry. This proved useful as DD has problems resulting from the fact she was a very sick and underweight baby and this affected her tooth development.

Weirdly, though on most levels she is not better off than other students, largely because as home-owning Londoners we were asset rich but cash poor, the marker of middle-classness that her friends seized upon was the fact that she has appointments with a private hygienist.

DD is glad she had a gap year, even though with an intercalation year she is two years behind some of her peers, and now wants to one of the longer specialist trainings. She even talks of taking a year out and working as a clinical training fellow. I am starting to wonder which will come first, her qualification or her retirement, and at what point she will tire of exams (though CPD will continue to be a fact of life.)

Speed limits round us are now universally 20mph, easy to forget when you have had a lifetime of driving at 30. I guess Sadiq needs the money. I calculated that with new, bureaucratic, trader parking permits as well as congestion charge and ULEZ it is costing my builder £250 a week before he even starts work. Add in VAT and income tax, and the state is getting a huge chunk of every £I pay him. Whilst the existing problem of finding reliable workmen has become far far worse.

Haffdonga · 23/11/2021 20:54

Thank you for nudging me @Needmoresleep . I thought you'd all gone quiet! I've just spent a lovely half hour catching up on all your dcs exciting doings. It's just great to hear about graduations, grad jobs , internships and more studying.

@latedecember1963 you wondered if your ds had left job applications late while he was focusing on his degree. I felt the same about DS1 whose only plans on finishing his degree were to join his gf in Australia and be a drifter (his words). However 2.5 years and a pandemic later he's managed to get himself a good grad level job in the UK. The employers didn't seem put off by his lost years. I'm sure your ds won't be disadvantaged.
Talking of lost years (and broken appliances), ds1 also avoided learning to drive during his degree. He failed his test before leaving for Oz and of course when he got back to UK there were no driving tests available for months due to the backlog. He finally got a test last week which he took in our old manual car. 2 minutes in, the engine failure light came on so the test had to be abandoned! Of course the light has now gone off and the car is fine according to the garage Confused
As @Needmoresleep spotted, ds1 is now also applying for medicine and I'm reliving the joys of lurking on the medicine application threads with all the stressed medic mothers comparing notes on what to wear for interviews. DH was an eternal student too. Must run in the family.

I love the grad picture and both the dresses. Ds2's intercalation graduation is in January and I think I may treat myself to something similar Smile DS is currently on his obs and gynae placement and rang us buzzing yesterday as he'd just seen 2 babies being born. One was an emergency C section and he told us he waited outside the operating theatre with the expectant dad until they were both allowed in. Apparently the poor dad was so nervous he was in a total panic and he gave ds a big hug and burst into tears when the baby was safely out! Smile @Xenia - how exciting that your grandchild is due so soon. Buying new baby clothes must be scrumptious!

(Ds's placement today has been in an STD clinic so he's seeing the downsides too Wink ).

Needmoresleep, ds hasn't worked out his elective plans yet. He has major exams in 2 weeks so he says he'll think about it after that.

Xenia · 24/11/2021 08:50

Haff I was asking my daughter yesterday if her husband were primed to take babies once the baby comes (which as she is 38 weeks now could be any time) but she thinks he is more likely to be passed out on a chair as he is squeamish! That is rare in our family as my father and uncle and brothers were/are doctors and blood and gore never trouble us but I am sure the nurses will look after him...... (In answer to the knitting question - none here, I am really bad at it..... but I have had some newborn baby clothes sent to my daughter which are now in the hospital bag and she has in my request for ideas to the family about stocking fillers even given me ideas for the baby.....)

bigTillyMint · 26/11/2021 17:28

Oh god @Haffdonga, Im cringing for your DS at the STD clinic - imagine having to do a placement there!!!

latedecember1963 · 30/11/2021 18:44

Well, of all the weekends to go to put our caravan to bed for the winter! The early hours of Saturday morning were a bit lively but the only odd thing was my car, the caravan windows and the grassed areas were all covered in a layer of seasalt when I ventured outside on Saturday morning. By the time DH arrived on Saturday afternoon the sun was shining. He called by his mum to check she was ok before he set off for Anglesey but she'd taken out her hearing aids and slept through it all.
Hope everyone else has come through unscathed.

I'm sure you're right about the job applications, Haffdonga. He keeps finding things to apply for and has been getting further along the process as he becomes more savvy about what's being asked of him. We are in the fortunate position to be able to support him and he does appreciate that he's luckier than many.
Good luck to Needmoresleep's and Haffdonga's sons on the delivery suites. Imagine us being old enough to have children old enough to do that! How did that happen?!
Keep us posted on the baby news, Xenia. A thread grandchild.

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latedecember1963 · 30/11/2021 18:46

The relative calm after the storm in the bay below our caravan on Saturday.

2017 seems so long ago, now they're fledgling graduates.
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Xenia · 30/11/2021 21:00

Lovely photo above. We avoided most of the bad weather here in outer London. 39 weeks today but no sign of the baby yet. Twins have a good routine going of working in our local public library which is near the house and no one seems to go i the week in the upstairs study room and apparently it helps them get up at a set time and get on with work although tomorrow is their longest day in law school - out from 8am to 7pm.

Glad things are fine for everyone else. May twins finish for Christmas around 15 Dec although that then starts their exam revision period until 10 Jan final exams for what is probably the most important subjects of the year so will not be that relaxed a Christmas for them. I think we are having everyone on 26th Dec this year so I might even get a photo with all 3 grandchildren IF the baby is born by then and all is well. It is possible my daughter may not be well enough to visit of course- we shall see.

Haffdonga · 30/11/2021 22:29

Beautiful photo @latedecember1963 . Blue skies but I guess it felt fresh . I love that kind of weather.

@Xenia your family Boxing day plans sound lovely, I hope the grandbaby arrives in time.

Poor ds has a major Christmas dilemma now as a result of the new travel rules. He's booked on a uni ski trip due to arrive back on Christmas Eve - so there's no way he'll get the results of the compulsory PCR test back until after Christmas. We will be with 3 very elderly relatives all with health issues on Christmas and Boxing day so ds has to choose between isolating separately from the whole family through Christmas or not going skiing (and losing all his money). A bit of a test of his priorities - fun with friends vs pulling crackers with granny!