2017 seems so long ago, now they're fledgling graduates.

[latedecember1963]

4 years since A Levels and the wait for August and confirmation of where our chicks were about to fly the nest to.
It's been 4 years that has sprung a few surprises along the way, not least this lovely series of threads.

That sounds like a good plan. Once they get started they'll be hurtling towards Christmas before they can draw breath.

Sorry. I have missed a lot, and then tried looking back over previous pages, then realised I might lose my post. I hope weddings, holidays, Australia, jobs etc all went well.

DD has 10 days to go before term starts. She is coaching it up and down (£6.80 and leaves just by her flat and arrives 20 minutes walk from home!) as she tries to optimise her newly recharged social life. (Lots of Bristol friends who she had not seen for 18 months, went home as soon as travel restrictions were lifted.) Her flat is now furnished, partly by items the previous tenants left behind, partly from British Heart Foundation and a desk, chair, mattress, rug and beanbag from home. Approx cost so far (sofa and table, three chairs and two bedside units) is £180, so she may treat herself to a small chest freezer from Argos. We are now waiting for our invite, which may take a while as she is so relieved to escape our small bubble.

I hope she spots the man next door who I met when I picked up keys and whose friendly dog needs walking.

She is so looking forward to life being back to "normal", so was disappointed that the 4 hours of induction on the first day will be on-line and continuous. It makes sense in that they probably don't want the whole year group in a room at the same time, with the potential for a super spreader event, and group isolation, but even so, it would have been the chance to see people before they headed off for their different placements.

There is also a bit of nervousness about returning: will it be the same; will she still enjoy it, and so on.

Her Imperial graduation is in October, and seems to be going ahead, though they have not confirmed whether guests will be allowed. It does not matter in that we at least have the chance to make it a special occasion and have booked a table at Monica Galetti's restaurant to celebrate. DD had specifically requested something run by a woman, as suitable for a newly graduated female engineer. It will be the first time she will meet the others on her course. Weird.

It is such fun isn't it, to have things to look forward to. I so hope it does not all close down again.

Sounds like your DD is well organised Errol. She'll have to keep an eye out for Jeffrey Archer, think he lives in Grantchester (or did!).

DS has 2 weeks until his dissertation has to be submitted. He seems ok, not stressed, which is good.

No news on last year's graduation. Am keeping fingers crossed his Masters one will go ahead...
@Needmoresleep - graduation meal at Monica Galetti's restaurant sounds fab.

We are in DS's uni city next month, so he may have a lift with us & catch up with some friends still there.

Sounds like good progress for everyone above. My twins could download some course materials to prepare for their first law sessions but one is still working full time in his paralegal job until Friday and the other far too busy with his friends. I do need them to check their timetable but that may not be out yet. Some students seem to have been sent already all the physical course materials but my 2 may not have had theirs as only one has so far clicked on a link to provide home address so that might be the reason and I seem to be the only person concerned by it!

Like Horsemad's son my son has a lot of friends completing dissertations at present although it does not seem to stop the stream of their friends who visit. One boy was over yesterday although they were mostly out - in fact my son drove for his second covid jab and never came back so I had to text asking if it had killed him off - in stead he had driven on to collect his friend from the tube and they were in a cafe somewhere for lots of hours. That boy had only just left when their school friend came over, all went to the gym after the other got back from work and that friend was still here when I went to sleep. You can hardly see white on next week's kitchen calendar for all the various friends that one has coming or going but at least they like it here and these days they go out to do things rather than just stuck inside due to covid 19. So I am very glad for them.

I think I have pinned the non working one down to seeing me at lunch time (if he is up by then) to look up the law course timetable if yet available. It is just that if there is a mistake about their days or course or we need to chase missing materials then I want them to do it now before the course starts not at the last minute. I think their school friend who did the same course as they did last year is definitely not doing this next one with them at the same institution not that that matters.

Anyway all is well and it is the last academic year I have children studying ever unless one fails. Every year the council's council tax people are on my back - despite all the letters, evidence etc they never seem to believe I am a single person living with students. I did a response this week which will hopefully satisfy them but we shall see.

It's such a relief to hear that our DCs are beginning to get back to seeing their friends again. It's been such an isolating 18 months.
DH and I were at a wedding in Newcastle at the weekend so DS2 took himself off to Birmingham to play in an Ultimate Frisbee tournament with his old uni team mates.

He's not had any offers of job interviews yet. Our local paper mentioned a careers fair in our nearest town in mid September aimed at under 25s. He said he wasn't sure if it was aimed at graduates to which my response was that it appears to be aimed at people who need employment.
His older brother's first couple of jobs were for minimum and apprentice wages and certainly helped to focus his mind.

It’s very tough job-wise for them this year - seems to be added graduates from last year as well as Covid making it even harder. Whilst DD has got a job lined up, DS (going into final year) is worrying about which way to turn job-wise.

My DD is applying for an extension for her MSc diss - just hope she can submit with a bit of time before her job starts.

Glad to hear everyone is getting on well with their lives.
DH’s sister and her family left yesterday to fly back home to the US. It’s been lovely having them - the house feels too empty today although they are coming over again for Christmas. DS and my nephews seem to have visited every London pub. It’s a good job DS finished his dissertation early!
We fly to visit my family next week. It’s only a couple of hours drive for my family from the different areas of Belgium they live in to get to the hotel in Luxembourg so hopefully an easy journey for them.

After the holiday DS has a week at home before starting his job in the Netherlands. We’re going to drive him over. The company have put in him in a local hotel for the first month so it takes away the immediate pressure of finding a flat.

am glad people are managing to meet others. My poor son (second jab yesterday_) could not sleep all night apparently. Went to sleep after tossing and turning all night at 11am (!!) and is now trying to go back to sleep (I went up to to check he was still alive as it's 2.30pm and even by his standards that is a late morning). It sounds like he had a bad reaction to the jab and his arm is in agony too over 24 hours on. Hopefully he will fine again soon.

I am always very supportive of them when they have the vaccination,. even though I and half my family have chosen not to have the vaccine so far and the rest have had it - as I want everyone to take their own decisions.

DD is at Reading Festival and says they are offering COVID vaccines there. It's a funny old world. She is renting a flat in London with 2 friends and moving in after the festival. I haven't seen it yet, which feels strange.

@SMaCM - DS is at Reading festival - small world!

I didn't see DDs rented house last year at all, despite being a guarantor. I guess it's not unusual but it's nice to be able to visualise where they are. Hopefully I'll be able to visit her new place in due course. DH says it's nice, clean with decent appliances and they've put a lot of thought into the stuff they're buying - everything fitting per the 3D model afaik.

Son has recovered from post-vaccine effects so that's all good. He also got a massive box of law materials today for his course (his twins' has not come yet) and there is another book to come too but at least we have the one box and he contacted the law school to chase them about his timetable which does not seem to be out yet (and regarding his resit fee as he already paid it well before the Aug exam (I did) ages ago and yet got a chaser. We suspect they just chased everyone even if they had already paid but best to be sure.

Meanwhile his twin has his last day after 3 months as a para legal tomorrow and by big coincidence it is the firm's summer party that evening so that will be a nice send off.

Like Errol I did not see my other son's rented Bristol flat once last year although I saw photos.
Daughter called from holiday/ belated honeymoon in Majorca and is having a lovely time at her husband's family flat there, with very big rooms 3 balconies at the apartment and parking - it is quite old style but lovely and big compared to modern places, near the beach in a nice part. She is enjoying the good weather and lovely sunshine and no work.

I didn't see her student houses before she moved in, but this is her first 'proper' house and it just brought it home to me that she's an adult making her own choices now.

Yes... neither DH nor I had 'empty nest' syndrome when DD went off to uni, but we're both feeling it a bit now. It's properly the end of an era and we've not quite figured out what the new one should look like - covid has knocked back our plans for travelling a lot more. (Also, the happy but unexpected longevity of the dog limits spontaneous local getaways!)

Just catching up again. I'm glad things are moving positively for the majority of the DC. We have had one of DD1's college friends staying for 2 weeks whilst she does a vet practice. Apparently Bristol have changed some of their provision due to Covid, so all their vet students have been spread across local/semi-local practices. DD's friend is from S Wales and has been impacted so DD asked our vet neighbour and managed to find something here. Sod's law dictates that the friend arrived in the same timespan as our holiday cottage was already booked by some old friends so the friend has been staying in my dad's spare room in his cottage as he's currently up-country. Old friends left on Tuesday, vet left today & I'm taking DD to her new house inn Cambridge tomorrow.

DD has been working in my dad's online for several weeks so will carry on working remotely next week but has the option to go into the office or to an outdoor social event, which she is keen to do. On Tuesday I'm heading north to my dad's to collect him and all his stuff for another extended stay. I'm back at work on 6th and then taking DD2 back to her uni on 14th as she's still not allowed into her year-abroad country so will be starting her year abroad remotely and hoping to go later in the term. Her UK uni has been really good about accommodating her on an uncertain basis so we are just hoping that she can go soon so she gets the maximum benefit.

@ErrolTheDragon we felt the empty nest thing back in autumn of 2019 but Covid soon changed things. This time feels a bit different as DD1 won't be back so often (although she's planning to come home for a break before matriculation) and if/when DD2 can go abroad, she will be a long way away. Fingers crossed that we can go and visit her next Easter - Japan sounds a lot more exciting than the E Midlands, with apologies to any E Midlanders but hopefully you know what I mean!

I’ve really struggled with the empty nest. It didn’t seem a problem when DT’s were at Uni. Now DD has been in Brussels for a year and DS moving to the Netherlands next month, it’s hit home that they won’t live with us again. We knew they both were unlikely to look for jobs in the U.K. and with our move to Canada (now should be early next year), my “babies” are going to be so far away.

@Parker231 That is hard especially when it’s not as easy to visit at the moment. Dd is closer to us now geographically but we know she is unlikely to live at home again now she is working (even if there was another lockdown she would be unable to stay with us and work remotely - many of my friends had their adult kids back for a while over the past 18 months)

Dh & I are starting to think about the long term & if we might move back to our home country. It would mean living the kids here most likely. So the reverse to what happened to us and our parents!

I’m feeling a bit jealous of empty nesters - we should have been during term time but DS has been mainly at home since Christmas (and both were during the first lockdown. Looks like we might get a week between DS going back (unless he goes early!) and DD coming back to start her grad job! Then DS will almost certainly come back once he graduates next summer.

Will we ever have an empty nest?! Might have to do like you @Decorhate and move away from them!

DD is arranging an extension and is hopeful she has a new plan for her MSc diss data analysis, but I’m not holding my breath!

We thought we'd gone through the empty nest thing once ds2 was established at uni and ds1 left home 'for good' and returned to Australia. I didn't enjoy it at all. Funnily enough, 2 and a bit years on ds1 is now living at home for the foreseeable and ds2 has only just returned to uni life after his remote masters. DH and I have just been away for a lovely sunny break in the lakes leaving ds1 at home in charge of feeding the cats. He complained bitterly that it's boring and lonely being the one left at home. Oh how the tables have turned!

DS2 started back this week too @Needmoresleep and is delighted to have his gang of friends back in town even though the 'welcome back' lectures are all online. This term is jam-packed trying to fit in all the placements missed as a result of you know what. He's currently doing GP, then has obs and gynae, then paeds plus the most important exams of the whole course this term. Lucky he has handed in his masters diss for better or worse.

Good luck to the job hunters and job starters. It only took ds1 3 years after graduating to find something

I have been waiting since child 1 came in 1984 for the empty nest phase..... although my elderly neighbour says I will miss the children when they do leave. I certainly am very likely to have the twins here at home for 3 more y ears at least as they will be studying and after that trainees.

One got his timetable tonight for this next academic year - 3 half days starting at 9am (s so leaving our house before 8am) in London and mornings only (although with lots of work for the course on other days - the course is a bit like a full time job). Hopefully his twin who is out has the same as they have requested to be in the same group to make travel easier etc. We should probably know tomorrow either way.

We haven't found the empty nest stage too bad so far, mainly because DS2 has been coming and going. I found the lockdown phases really hard because we live in an area where we had the strictest rules for months and months. Not so much DS2 as he was in Australia and then Birmingham but DS1 was only a few miles away and for ages we couldn't even meet in our gardens.
I do remember DS2 asking me, " Will you and dad be ok on your own?" a few days before he left for his 1st year. 😁
I am aware we are very lucky, we've been together 37 years and we still like each other.
DS1 is still a bit miffed that his old bedroom is going to be redecorated for DS2 to move into this Autumn even though he's now married and living in his own house!
Safe travelling, MalbecFan, and enjoy your family reunion, Parker.

We thought we'd be empty nesters by now but still have all 3 dcs at home, despite all having graduated! ( did manage 2 weeks alone in 2019 before eldest came home for an extended holiday from China)

Eldest Dd is still trying to get back to her job in China, where she'd been working for 3 years pre Covid ( on to her 4th visa application) ...her apartment is still waiting for her and all her money is in Chinese bank account which she can't access from U.K.! She has been able to do work online ,but come September the Chinese government will stop paying her so I hope she can eventually get back to her job in next couple of months
Younger dd has taken on new job which is based in Indonesia but can't actually travel there yet , but at least she's got all her belongings at home and is having a good clear out of her stuff before she leaves!
Ds just graduated and had been planning on MSc , but not happy to do another year online teaching as course is very practical, so is currently job hunting and just had interview which went very well, so is hopefully going to be gainfully employed by next week
It's first time in 9 years that we've had all 3 dcs at home , other than summer holidays from Uni, and now that dh works from home its longest time ever that we've spent so much time together since they were babies....I'm actually quite enjoying the time we're having and have spent time getting to know them as adults!
We've also had time to cultivate new hobbies...home brew, gardening/ horticulture , baking / cooking

We are about to lose DD after 18 months back at home. She is desperate to leave, but is currently commuting between home and Bristol to maximise her newly recovered social life. New graduate schoolfriends have started meeting up, whilst her Bristol friends are making the most of it, before they scatter all over the West Country on placement. Who knows if she will ever come back home permanently. She is unlikely to apply for foundation years in London as she will want to ensure she gets her first choice of specialism, and both London and Bristol are super competitive, but perhaps after that. It is pretty normal for London kids to live at home when they start working as rents are so expensive, and savings needed for a deposit are high.

Our son is still unable to return. He could come home and would be allowed back. The trouble is that he can only apply to return to the US once he is back in London, and there is no telling how long American bureaucracy might take. Not a risk he can take for a two week trip at Christmas. He was very keen to study overseas, not least because he had spent his whole life, from birth through to Masters, in London Zone 1. But now, after three years and 18 months of on-line, he seems to be missing home. He has another three years left for his PhD, and it is very very hard to get a foothold on an academic career-path, so he will almost certainly have to go where the work is. (Often, judging from where others have ended up, first jobs are with overseas campuses of British or American Universities.) We shall see. I would love either or both to settle in London, but it will be a while yet before we know.

Haffdonga, has yours been thinking out the time they are allowed in fifth year to go abroad or do something different in the UK. (I should remember what it is called but don't.) It is a big opportunity but needs some planning. Bristol have brought this forward to the first half of year five, and have decreed that this year's final year students must stay in the UK. A real pity for those who had made some interesting plans. Medicine seems to be so many hurdles/decisions from getting in, through intercalations, F1/F2 positions, core training etc. DD is aiming for a competitive area so probably needs to maximise what she does, but also has finals at the end of this year, and is currently worrying about whether she remembers any medicine, plus indeed whether she has kept her friends given she did not see anyone for 18 months. It will be fine. As a backstop she can pay and have, essentially, a working holiday somewhere, though the traditional favourite. Australia, might be out. Or offer herself as a volunteer to an NHS Trust. But as a mum I am already anticipating a post finals panic. Perhaps time to step back!

@Needmoresleep I think you mean the elective? DD’s medical school did it in the summer before final year. I don’t know what happened this summer but they were all cancelled last year for DD’s year. They did projects instead & caught up with placements over the summer. Many had arranged electives abroad which were cancelled (tbh Dd is a bit dubious about the learning achieved on some of those). She had an amazing one in the UK she had to forego.

She is now in London for her F1 year & getting great experience. Not seeing as much of her as we had hoped just yet but still more than when she was at uni.

She decided to rent straight away rather than attempt to commute from our home. It’s expensive but she can walk to work & lots of her friends have also moved to London

Thanks. Yes elective. For some reason hers takes place during the academic year, despite the potential for dubious learning outcomes. I have lived abroad a lot so am in a good position to ask about potentially interesting opportunities. But things take time. I am assuming that DD wants to get back and hear about what others are considering.

From what I hear London F1/F2 positions are really sought after, so congratulations to your DD. After 18 months living at home I doubt DD will try. We live very centrally so paying rent in order to commute makes no sense, and she really does not want to return home again for the foreseeable future. That said, I believe everyone should live in London at some point in their lives and I hope DD will decide to settle here.

I don't know what will happen to us. I took voluntary redundancy when my parents became ill, but DH still has a few years to go. We now have my parents flat in a nice part of the country, but I still love the city. We may also find ourselves having to spend time up north if DH's parents start needing help. Or we may be tempted to relocate somewhere near where DC eventually settle.

I had always claimed that I would retire to Borneo, perhaps on the north east coast, like some Joseph Conrad novel. I still like the idea, but, surprisingly, DH is not so keen.