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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

How to decide between Bristol, Durham and York

137 replies

PortTable · 20/01/2021 15:12

DD is very lucky to hold offers for the Unis above. The courses are different, but she pretty much likes them equally. She hasn't been to visit any of the Unis or the cities, though obviously has viewed their virtual open days. She's also posted on TSR for opinions.

I was hoping that parents on here could offer me their views on either what they think of these cities as places to live, and/or pass on the views of their DC who have recently attended.

DD is state school, bit quiet, sporty, not into party stuff that much but really wanting to spread her wings. Her bf will also be going to Uni this year but (I think luckily) hasn't got similar Unis on his list so that isn't a factor. We are in Kent, so all of them seem a long way away!

What insights can you pass my way?

OP posts:
Original poster
PortTable · 21/01/2021 14:49

@hoxt

This looks really interesting if she wants to do clinical psych *@PortTable*.

www.hull.ac.uk/faculties/fhs/psychology/clinical-psychology-doctorate

Bristol has a really big party reputation. Might be her scene or might not be, but worth knowing.

Thanks @hoxt - DD already has had her eye on that programme!
OP posts:
JunoTurner · 21/01/2021 14:55

That link from @hoxt is interesting.

I do think it sounds like York would be the best fit for your DD, particularly with its reputation for psychology. Leeds is very nearby and easily accessible by train for placements. I’d go to Leeds from York regularly. A very quick train journey.

@Frodont you may well have anecdotes about state school pupils’ behaviour but sharing them wouldn’t be comparable. As a demographic as a whole, they don’t have the privilege of private school children.

BasiliskStare · 21/01/2021 15:07

Ah @PortTable I would just say - if it were me - I would not choose a university based on the schools people came from - if you are a congenial and happy person - you will make friends - DS ( Oxford ) has friends from so many different schools & backgrounds and they all get on - & indeed now he has graduated they still do ) There may be a clique of those who can't go beyond their schools ( of whatever type ) - but most are not like this. ( Well enough you can make friends - no-one needs to be friends with every single person in the university. ) & I agree with @goodbyestranger 's implied point above - once you get to the university - the bar is reset - you are all worthy of your place so - in your own time - bray all you like - the rest of us will just get on with it. Grin (have I missed the point here ? Grin

PresentingPercy · 21/01/2021 17:08

Well comedians make lots of stuff up. That’s what the Overheard in Waitrose was about. Being creative and funny! Not resolutely serious all the time! However each to their own level of seriousness.

Bristol is no more party scene than Manchester or Newcastle. You don’t have to go to parties - they are not obligatory and quiet corridors should be quiet.

Frodont · 21/01/2021 17:35

Ok, goodbyestranger, it doesn't sound in the slightest bit "hilarious", just a bit gauche and boring - like many young adults away from home for the first time!

Anyway, the point stands, that I can understand why private school kids might want to stick together reading some of the parental opinions on Mumsnet. I can only hope their children are more open-minded.

JunoTurner · 21/01/2021 17:49

Anyway, the point stands, that I can understand why private school kids might want to stick together reading some of the parental opinions on Mumsnet. I can only hope their children are more open-minded.

What a knee-jerk response. The opinions are about a few students based on their exhibited level of self-entitlement. I don’t know enough DC from Westminster or Eton to know whether those two students represent a general attitude, so I assume they don’t. A lot of it will come down to parental views and whether the parent is somehow encouraging the DC to always be aware of people’s backgrounds and how the DC are performing in their degree relative to others. Most parents and DC won’t and aren’t interested in comparing and making judgments.

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:14

Frodont I never in any post said that I thought the account of the silly public school was remotely hilarious. You should read with a little more care. There's nothing hilarious about it. I put it down to immaturity and a misplaced sense of entitlement bred by the parent or parents in question who clearly, but wrongly, think that their school choice for their not very bright DC will bestow superiority. Percy has already censured me for not finding people making things up to mock stereotypical Waitrose shoppers funny. That's completely fair, since I don't find it in the least funny. But I'm not going to have you impute to me things which I not only never said but also don't believe.

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:15

Missed out the word spat (as in public school spat).

Frodont · 21/01/2021 18:26

Thanks for the long justifications! It's just a bit rude and thoughtless. Lots of really nice, kind, intelligent kids come out of private school. They aren't all entitled wankers. As long as we can agree on that then it's all good.

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:27

Frodont I'm the product of a private school myself (albeit a London day school), went to Durham in the days when it was awash with privately educated kids, worked in the City in the 80s which again was awash with privately educated people (mostly male), then spent my married life in the army which again again was awash with privately educated people (both the officers and the wives). For some reason I can't work out I live in a village where more people seem to have attended Eton than the nearest school. I'm not short on experience of the privately educated!

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:29

It wasn't long Frodont, it was to the point: I didn't write that the spat was hilarious, you made a mistake on that.

JunoTurner · 21/01/2021 18:31

Yes I wondered about you being told off for using the word “hilarious” @goodbyestranger I know I used that word but can’t see that you did, so assumed it was in the post you had withdrawn.

I stand by my use of hilarious. It’s obviously also disgusting and I said that was the response of everyone who witnessed it. But in the retelling, it’s hilarious because it’s such ridiculous and immature behaviour.

Anyway, it’s the DD’s prerogative to go where she feels is the best fit, whatever her criteria is. My gut reaction based on all the limited info we have is to suggest York, then Bristol, then lastly Durham. Chances are of course they will all work for her. They are all brilliant choices to have and she’s fine well in getting them!

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:32

I'm certainly happy to agree that not each and every privately educated kid is an entitled wanker. No problem. I do however think it's arguable that certain schools have historically produced more with a tendency that way than others :)

Frodont · 21/01/2021 18:34

Yes, apologies goodbyestranger, it was junoturner who said hilarious. I don't think my dds would even think to mention a spat between two state school pupils - or even two private school pupils, let alone find it hilarious, but I guess we all have a different sense of humour! I'm sure all our kids have said twattish things occasionally.

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:35

No Juno, never said hilarious. I asked for that message to be withdrawn simply because the person I referenced was identifiable to anyone local, and I wasn't overly flattering.

goodbyestranger · 21/01/2021 18:44

These two were seriously loud at dinner the night of the interview Frodont, so hard to miss since no-one else could get a word in edgeways apparently - but it seems that the brilliance of their wit was lost on the interviewers, as neither made an appearance the following October :(

JunoTurner · 21/01/2021 18:45

My DS found it mortifying, and then funny, because he is private school educated and didn’t want to be judged by the entitlement and boasting of others, even though he knows there’s huge discrepancy between various private & public schools. All the students of whatever background found it hilarious. Not going to apologise for that.

As for mentioning it, DS mentioned it at home months after the event as an anecdote when Eton was mentioned on the radio (possibly in connection to Boris). Again, there’s nothing for me or him to be ashamed or apologise about there.

MarchingFrogs · 23/01/2021 01:12

A drone's-eye (I assume) view of York:

I have to say that the aerial views don't do the East campus any favours, but it is still young and hopefully will soften a bit with age (and a little more in the way of garden design, perhaps).

CherryMaple · 23/01/2021 04:05

I went to a state grammar school, and would describe myself as a quiet, more academic person. I went to Bristol, to one of the best-rated departments for research in my subject in the country. I did well in my degree and have gone on to an academic career, but I wouldn’t go to Bristol if I had my time over again. A lot of people from private/public/boarding school who did not mix well with people from state schools. My DSis went to York and loved it.

Zandathepanda · 27/01/2021 12:33

OP
Another vote for York.
She won’t like Durham from your description.
The LNER line is very fast London to York, if Kings Cross/St Pancras is easy to get to.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 27/01/2021 12:39

Another vote for York. We live in Kent too. Easy journey into London Bridge, to King's Cross and straight to York. I don't drive so apart from assistance from family getting there initially, and coming back in 2019, DD relied on trains. She's grammar school educated, read Psychology and really loved it.

OnlyTeaForMe · 27/01/2021 13:53

Yes, I agree, it sounds as if York would suit her. York does very well in the league tables for Research Quality and also employment statistics.

Muchtootall · 28/01/2021 20:29

If you want good hockey looking at the England hockey league then I would suggest Durham. They are the highest placed of all these universities with a university team in the first division women’s hockey. My friend’s DD was very quiet and went to Durham. She liked it but was ready to leave after 3 years as there is not much happening there.

My DD is at Bristol and loves the city and how much it can offer but she is really outgoing and confident so that may have helped. She is home now due to COVID but is really missing the vibrant student life with parties every weekend which seems to be a feature of Bristol student life. They certainly seem to work hard and play hard there.

Original poster
PortTable · 31/01/2021 19:09

Just coming back to this thread. I have got DD to read it and she has found it very interesting, though I am not sure she is any further forward!

For me, I think it has cemented that wherever she goes there will be aspects of Uni life that will suit her, so it is win-win really.

I really hope things ease so we can do some visits though - and see how long it takes to get for Durham and York for example!

OP posts:
Frodont · 02/02/2021 14:21

@JunoTurner

My DS at Bristol told me once of an absolutely cringeworthy overheard conversation where a couple of students from Eton and Westminster were boasting about where they went and which school outdid the other. Through their fog of entitlement, they mistakenly thought the other students overhearing were impressed and stunned to silence by awe when in fact they were stunned to silence by disgust Grin

The students that overheard later cracked up about it and told everyone and it became an in-joke. DS went to private school for some of his time and has a couple of friends at Bristol who did for their entire education, and they were so embarrassed for the the boasting pair. But that was a one-off incident involving a couple of self-important prats. DS’s friendship group has been wide and everyone takes each other as they find them. University can be a leveller in many ways, including academically.

Just came across this in an old thread from a year or so ago...Shock

"DD and her friends came across a bragging Old Etonian during her University freshers week. She quietly mentioned she had been at Westminster, and he shut up. Her friends, who had never heard of Westminster, were impressed. In the game of public school top trumps, assuming this is a game you want to play, Westminster often wins. Cooler, more urban, cleverer."