Some of our young people are half way through their degrees (2019/20 intake): lockdowns on repeat, light at the end of the tunnel with vaccinations (?) and the legacy of COVID-19

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose is all I can say!

When we bought our current house 3 years ago it had storage heaters. With no heating in the upstairs bathrooms. Ours en suite is tiled floor and ceiling, plus faces north. It must've been cold. So we had underfloor heating put in downstairs and radiators upstairs. With 2 big towel rails in our bathroom. Downstairs is set to 18 degrees in most rooms, so it just maintains that temperature. But upstairs we usually have 1 hour heat in the morn and 2 hours at night (if it's below 18 degrees) so no heating during the night. The 2 boys are doing online lessons all day in their bedrooms, so I added an hour midday to the heating if it's cold. Ds2 was moaning he was cold.

We moved out of London in Feb 2013 to a doer upper wreck which had limited heating, there was lots of snow then, in fact that’s when I changed my username to what it currently is as we were freezing cold.

Our DC were horrified and moaned all the time about being cold.
We went on holiday over Easter so our builders could do a full rewire, new boiler and radiators.
I’m glad lots of you have got some snow, it’s so magical isn’t it.

It looks like I might have to collect DD and bring her home. Her CFS is out of control, and I'm going to have to reregister with our local GP and get her referred - privately if I have to. She is really struggling, and it is impacting her mental health as well.

She has a week off to rest and recuperate after tomorrow's exam, and if she doesn't pick up I will bring her home. Everything is online anyway.

Ironically lockdown will work in her favour university-wise.

@Ginfordinner I hope your DD is ok, such a difficult time, sounds like bringing her home is for the best.

I am so glad that she is near enough for a there and back in the same day.

@Ginfordinner

I am so glad that she is near enough for a there and back in the same day.

When our DC were selecting unis to apply to we had a five-hour rule. We had to be able to drive there in less than five hours for exactly this reason. Being in New England we are spoiled for choice so this wasn't a challenge.

This actually became essential for us in December. Normally when we pick up DS we drive up, take him out to dinner and stay over in a nice hotel, then drive back the next day. Massachusetts was requiring anyone staying overnight to quarantine for two weeks. So we left early, got there around noon to pick him up and drove straight home. It was a long day in the car but great to have him home the same day.

Gin sorry to hear that. I know stress is hitting a lot of students now so with CFS that must be awful. Bizarrely the lockdown helped our poorly Dd too - she ‘got’ GCSEs at grades slightly lower than she was predicted but as she was asleep for most of her GCSE exam period it was very helpful! It is helping her not going into class now as she doesn’t have the very real possibility of catching covid (5 of her classmates and one of her teachers had it). Uni Dd is now really getting fed up of being at home though. We can just do Newcastle and back in a day but it’s much easier letting the train take the strain.
I am still of the belief that many Uni choices follow train routes!
Talking of cold houses, Dh’s childhood home had no central heating just an open fire in the living room which had a back boiler to heat the water. They also had no phone line nor gas. The worse thing was in summer they had to have a fire to get hot water for a bath. They did have an indoor toilet though! At one point as a teenager, I lived in a place that didn’t. In winter. I didn’t drink much!

I was just reminiscing this morning about -8 when I was at university - the toilets on our staircase froze. It was a magical time though - huge snowball fights in the quads and being pushed into a snowdrift by my then bf. I lost my room key out of my pocket without realising, had to pay for a new one and then found it again when the snow melted - which in my memory was weeks and weeks (1981)

I had no central heating in my childhood home either - just gas fires and one open fire. We used to drag all our blankets off the beds in the mornings and wrap ourselves in them to come downstairs.

Gin was right - competitive suffering abounds! Its like that 'we lived in a paper bag' sketch - Monty Python??

@LaBelleSauvage123

Hope your DD is OK @Ginfordinner - it’s very worrying when they are struggling.

@LaBelleSauvage123 an open fire would have been lovely. We just had one electric fire with stupid pretend light up coal. But I don't remember complaining about the cold. I would now. We have our heating set at 20 in my kitchen...I'm wearing a thick winter fleece.

At least you'll be able to keep a close eye on your DD at home @Ginfordinner - sorry to hear she's struggling.

How is your DD2 @Zandathepanda?

I think it's sensible not to have DC too many hours/miles away university-wise. Just simpler in so many ways to know that they're close enough to collect easily if need be. One reason DS ultimately not keen on going to Exeter (Penryn campus).

Definitely and will try to encourage DD2 to be a little closer.
Sorry to hear about your DD @Ginfordinner. I hope she feels better soon.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 sent you a pm. Dd2 is on new meds and is currently only having an average of a seizure a week which is so much better.
Uni Dd traipsed across the countryside for a while. Feels a bit better, especially as the mud had frozen so her clothes were in the same state as when she left. It’s so muddy round here.

Sorry to hear that your DD struggling @ginfordinner. It is really hard as a parent when they are not coping.

My 4th year DD is now doing her final year over 2 years due to pressure and mh problems.

2nd year DS will return next weekend. He needs to be back really, though with everything online it shouldn't make so much difference.

No frost or snow in his room - yes, I had that as well - doesn't know he's born!

Thank you for the support folks. I hope your DD is OK simbobs.
Zanda I hope your DD improves soon.

DS didn't have a year out, he's young in his year group too as a late August born, and is maybe a little slow in getting into things socially - so freshers week wasn't a big rave up for him. So he's gone straight into just living away from home with a small group of people after one semester and not much campus time. Looks like rest of the year maybe like that - although they're starting up normal tutorial groups via zoom (they were trying once a week massive 3 hour tutorials face to face before Christmas whichisn't really practical when you need more regular interactive sessions).

I'm worried he'll basically just have 'boring' extension of his A-Levels without almost any of the life-building parts of Uni. I'm sure a lot of us are in the same boat. And if things pick up, next year is still the finals year where you need to put your head down anyway!

I'll encourage him to expand his horizons and if he wants a year out after uni I'll totally back him on that - especially being so young and on a 3 year course he has time for that I think.

lucky to have had time to get a basic group together for the first private rental I guess, something this year's intake hasn't had)

Hope you don't mind me posting, I've been following this thread on and off for a while as I have a second year DD at Durham. She is still at home in the south east but most of the reading for her course is in the library so is starting to get very worried about her work. DH is absolutely opposed to her going on the basis it's illegal and the uni has told them not to. Can anyone point me to anywhere that says it's not illegal to return (as I know many of your DCs have). No mental health issues, study space and WiFi here fine, just no library!

Welcome @Motherhubbardscupboard!

My DS is also 2nd year at Durham wfh, but seems to be able to access all the texts he needs for History online. Is she doing English lit? I know a friends DD needed to go back to Oxford to access the texts she needed.

Thanks for the welcome. It is actually History. Last term was fine and she didn't actually visit the library at all even though she was in Durham. The modules this term have a lot of the required reading and the additional as in person reading. Some of the online reading is Google preview so you only get a few pages. She knows others are there and visiting the library so feels disadvantaged. But I need something in black and white to persuade DH she can go!

Mother, it is not illegal to go back. The reason it is not is that the law is in the statutory instruments not the guidance. About page 6 on these www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1611/pdfs/uksi_20201611_en.pdf which the January amending regulations did not materially change as to restrictions. You can only go out if you have "a reasonable excuse". There is a non exhaustive list after that of examples but there could be loads more not on the list as the way it is drafted is that the list is including those listed.

There is no express ban on going back to university in the law. If the state wants to pretend there is or prefer people not and say don't in guidance that is up to the state but that does not change the law.
This above all relates to England.

The big caveat on all the above is university rules. As well as complying with the law students have a contract with their univesrity so those in year 1 halls and those in colleges living in are highly likely to be subject to some kind of contractual restriction eg at Oxbridge traditionally you were not allowed to go home for weekends in the short terms without permission and/or had to live a certain distance only from college so these rules are nothing new. If your daughter is second year in Durham she is probably in a private rental. In that case I can see not reason not to go. My son is back in Bristol in a private rental (by tube and train). He had his lawful explanation ready for the police in case stopped en route but he had problems on the fairly empty trains.

The other issue for students if is they will be happy in the university town with nothing much open. My son has his flatmate who but for him would have been alone - only 2 share the flat and he is doing a law post grad course which is all online this year and is obviously older than freshers and even for him it was difficult to decide whether to be at home where his twin is and he can distance walk every day with a school friend in woods opposite the house, has a very large warm house to work in silently compared to small student house.

Xenia (sorry don't know how to tag) thanks so much for replying, and for the helpful info which is exactly what I've been trying to piece together - trying to distinguish what is illegal and what is guidance is not easy. Yes it's a private rental, and yes the university have asked them not to return. But in other communications have said they will support them whatever they do, and as the library is open I can't see them taking any action. There's also the issue of complying with the spirit of the law, whoxb I support, but I don't think that should have to be at whatever the personal cost. Thanks again

@Motherhubbardscupboard, eeek - maybe DS isn’t accessing all/the right texts
Though maybe different modules need different readings? And maybe she is more dedicated than him!

@bigTillyMint it's my understanding that the modules have different requirements, and some of the 'earlier' ones have less available online. She has a housemate on the same module and he is in Durham so she has a good idea of what she can't currently access.