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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Students and finances / parents helping out??

125 replies

Monica53 · 20/11/2020 20:09

Hi there
Just wondering how everyone’s student kids manage with finances and surviving. Our Dd is stressing as has by sounds overspent and gets max maintenance loan(this year her second yr anyway). Looking for rental for next year again and stressing as in her OD ! I’ve explained she isn’t alone. Just interested as how everyone else manages or not as case maybe . Thank you 😊

OP posts:
MrsKeats · 23/11/2020 08:12

It is not daft. Retiring on just a state pension. That's what's daft.
I work bloody hard in my fifties to help out my kids and stepkids. I would love to retire.

Ploughingthrough · 23/11/2020 08:25

Hi op. When I went to uni my mum was a low paid single parent so I had the max loans and paid for my accommodation through that. I didn't work during time time as I was on a practical course but I did have a job in my home town where I was able to work in the holidays. I have a great friend who is a doctor, she was from a very poor background and had zero family support. She worked as a bank healthcare assistant in the holidays and occasional weekends which brought in quite a bit - she always had work when she wanted it. Could your DD do this in your town when shes home?
Really weird how rich posters come on and say how they paid for everything and gave them an allowance. Doesn't really help.

catspyjamas123 · 23/11/2020 08:28

I pay my DS’s accommodation - halls this year so it includes food. Spending money is cash he has earned in hols. He has a loan for the fees. He doesn’t take the maintenance loan as he’d only get the min and I’d rather he didn’t build even more debt. My ex pays nothing - a sore point. In law he doesn’t have to but we did both agree to pay living costs before DS went to uni. Then things changed and his dad was keen to stress he isn’t legally obliged.

PresentingPercy · 23/11/2020 08:38

So what is the point of the above post catspyjamas123. Your DS doesn’t have the maintenance loan and you have lots of money to pay for him!

Also MrsKeats: you have no idea why the OP’s DH is retired. He could be 70 for all you know! Who said he’s in his 50s? We don’t know if he could find work or not. I agree financial planning is great if you can. But not everyone can. The question is really about what DD can do to improve her situation.

MrsKeats · 23/11/2020 08:46

financial planning is great if you can
To work and not contribute to a pension is insane.
And no example to your children/stepchildren who you are now accusing of not being able to manage money!!!

catspyjamas123 · 23/11/2020 09:04

Don’t assume I am “rich” because I am paying. I am just stating what I’ve chosen to do. A lot of people were stating that. I am a single parent and I work very hard to support my DS. In fact, I don’t have to - I could enjoy that money myself and save for my old age - but I want to help him. As I am supporting him singlehandedly I’m not rich at all.

In the present system the less parents earn the more students get. OP’s point is she got a pay rise and so the bursary was cut. That’s the madness of the system.

I’ve always found the best route out of an overdraft or cash shortage is to get more work. Tricky though, for a medical student.

PresentingPercy · 23/11/2020 09:19

If you have enough money to pay all maintenance for a dc at university you have spare money. It’s that simple. Millions of people are not able to do this however hard they work. They are simply not in jobs that pay enough to do that or they have high outgoings. Look around a bit more to understand how the majority live!

We know, in this country, that millions of people don’t have private pensions. I don’t think it’s great planning (and not a route I’ve taken) but again people living hand to mouth and not in the public sector often don’t have pensions. It’s a fact!

rsababe · 23/11/2020 09:24

Yet more rather daft posts about parents paying everything. The DD is on the full maintenance loan - not the minimum!

@PresentingPercy just because our DCs get the full maintenance loan doesn't mean we can't help them. I invested £25 a month for ten years until I couldn't afford it any more and that was enough to pay her rent.

catspyjamas123 · 23/11/2020 09:31

@PresentingPercy that’s right. Many parents chose to stay home for their kids and don’t earn. I chose to work and paid a lot of taxes on those years so I can now support my student kids. I worked my way up, I don’t have a goldmine. You make your choices in life.....

MrsKeats · 23/11/2020 10:21

catspyjamas123 quite.

MrsKeats · 23/11/2020 10:22

presentingpercy good for you. People need to plan more.

Monica53 · 23/11/2020 10:49

@MrsKeats unfortunately my OH was working for a very small business and didn’t have option for private pension and sadly was made redundant as business went bust. It is not daft to retire in state pension as so many people don’t have funds to have private pensions. That is why they brought in auto enrolment to pension.

As a family we. Budgeted throughout our life, paid of mortgage early and now looking to help Dd at Uni where we can. There are lots of suggestions/ideas on here and thank everyone. For one we certainly won’t be paying all her tuition fees when she finishes her course and graduates.

OP posts:
PresentingPercy · 23/11/2020 11:03

Dont worry about that. She can earn top money if she keeps going as a Dr.

HostessTrolley · 23/11/2020 11:23

It’s useful to watch the martin Lewis videos on student finance if you haven’t already. When they graduate they pay 9% of whatever they earn over a certain threshold - I can’t remember what it is but it’s around £28k. So if they earn £30k they pay back 9% of £2k which is £180/year - and if they borrow more (or less) the repayment is still the same. We know people who’ve chosen for their kids to only take the fees loan and not the maintenance, but the repayments are still the same - 9% of everything over the threshold. It’s more like a graduate tax than a loan per se...

Monica53 · 23/11/2020 12:05

Hi May I add sometimes people are unable to save any additional £ and this is sad state in the U.K. and possibly elsewhere- I’d love to be able to pay all her rent/etc.....however we are not in that position....yes it’s sad my oh doesn’t have private pension however there are quite a few people in the world who have worked for min wage ....I’m sad to say some of the comments did upset me and I’m free to say that as are people who have posted. I’d added this thread for advice and not to be berated for my oh just having state pension. We’ve managed to pay off our mortgage due to small redundancy payments received and budget every month. Not everyone has surplus £££..... our Dd is aware that we will help out as and when we can. Don’t be judgemental on individuals .. when seeking simple advice.

OP posts:
Monica53 · 23/11/2020 12:15

@MrsKeats my oh didn’t have option to pay into private pension! as is company was very small and very low wage!! Our dd did manage to work prior to Uni and did have small savings! .... she is not a big spender however due to lockdown. Spent more than usual. She has excel and uses that! Do not assume that we have not taught our Dd not to budget ! It’s difficult/different for everyone

OP posts:
HostessTrolley · 23/11/2020 12:23

I agree that some of the comments have been harsh - many families can afford to help for a normal three year course but 5/6 years is quite overwhelming x

It’s hard for med students to work in term time due to the high course workload - my d has 36-38 contact hours a week with additional work on top and I’m sure your d is similar x The tutoring is good because it takes an hour or two on a couple of evenings rather than a full night or weekend - they also need a life outside of their course!

If I had more money I think I’d buy student property! My daughters flat for six is £1000/week plus bills between six Shock

rsababe · 23/11/2020 12:31

My daughters flat for six is £1000/week plus bills between six

Where is that? It's more than my DS paid in Bristol last year, his was £450 a month for a room in a lovely Victorian house in Clifton.

Monica53 · 23/11/2020 12:36

@HostessTrolley thank you - I have found some of the comments rather harsh and very judgemental which to me isn’t helpful at all.. when seeking simple advice.

Yes it is difficult for med students to work due to course demands and 5/6 year courses. - luckily at end of it - her income will be good - so light at end of tunnel.
Rentals are expensive however she is finding others to share and hopefully reduce expenses.

Judgemental is not helpful and offensive. Thank you @HostessTrolley

OP posts:
HostessTrolley · 23/11/2020 12:47

@rsababe it’s in London - Hammersmith - she’s at imperial. And compared to many of their course mates they’ve got a good deal, the flat is well maintained, no damp yet found, and has been newly painted this summer. The landlord is friendly and communicative, he even helped the first one to move in as there are lots of stairs!

Needmoresleep · 23/11/2020 12:53

OP, another medic parent here.

There is obviously a huge disparity over how much parents can afford. However there is an equal disparity amongst how much students spend. And the correlation is not always as you might expect/hope.

The source of the money does not matter. Not spending more than you have is. And if you don't have enough, you need to budget carefully (put early effort into finding a cheap flat, cooking not takeaways, researching utility suppliers, taking the coach not the train, charity shops rather than high street, thermos for coffee and a packed lunch etc) or find ways to earn. Standard ways for medics to earn include working as an HCA, online tutoring, or perhaps babysitting. DD lived in a nice residential street with lots of young families. She was too shy but I think leaflets through doors explaining that a medic neighbour was available to babysit would have given her an easy way of making money whilst studying.

There are plenty of students who don't have a lot of money. They may be less visible as clubbing is then a once or twice a term special event, but they still have a good time. DD was shocked how much some spent, just on things like takeaways and taxis (and drugs) and that often the parents were scrimping themselves in order to help student DC out. The least well off tent to be graduate medics, especially those who have family responsibilities. They seem to manage, just...mainly it seems through juggling studies with HCA shifts.

Monica53 · 23/11/2020 13:21

@Needmoresleep Thank you for your comment - our Dd does cook from scratch, that is one thing she can cook as she spent so much time with me in kitchen baking and cooking - so see takes food with her when needed and as thermos flasks.
She is aware of others spending £s and does realise. She has it seems met similar minded students which is a positive and taking up running and runs on downs often. Which is free 😊

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 23/11/2020 13:28

My daughter gets the exact amount of money from us that she would get if she was eligible for the full maintenance loan. Out of that she pays her accommodation, petrol (her grandparents pay her car insurance, food, clothes and course equipment. She lost her part time job back in March where the place she worked closed but now earns a small amount each week doing age compliance audits (average £10-30 which is less than the £50 she used to earn so she has to budget accordingly). I think her grandparents occasionally give her a bit extra.

She's had to learn to budget.

Wester · 23/11/2020 13:40

She just needs to learn to budget.

Went to uni in 2013, parents did not contribute and I remember living off £11 a week for the first term.

Started working nights in McDonalds after that to pay living costs.

Needmoresleep · 23/11/2020 13:49

I have just read all your posts and DD is on the same course, though intercalating (another expense!) at the moment.

When flat hunting she might say that she is willing to take the smallest room in return for a lower rent. There are cheaper properties, and medical students are popular. It is worth keeping a close eye on properties advertised on the med student network, which are passed down from one generation to the next.

You should also note that the first term is long and tends to be more expensive. The kit costs and membership fees for University sports were quite shocking. Second and third terms are cheaper.

I am a landlord, and used to helping new tenants (often expats) set up utilities. I went down with DD when she rented her second year flat and we scrubbed the place from top to bottom (it was very cheap...for a reason), made careful annotations on the inventory, and looked at price comparison sites for utilities and broadband, and getting a referral for the latter which gave additional discounts. They reckoned their bills were half what others were paying, and they got their full deposit back.

Having friends who are careful with their money is good. Whether you are a student or not, trying to keep up with those who are better off is a recipe for disaster. Once the second year is over they will spend six month at a time on placement often in hospital accommodation. The routine was to head for Morisons and look for yellow sticky labels and then cook together. Other than go to the gym there was not much else to do, especially as they had early starts and long days. .

I hear, though can't be sure how accurate this is, that if a student is really short of money the medical school will give them priority for two fourth year placements outside Bristol which means that they can live in free hospital accommodation and don't need to rent at all. DD also says that many students wait till summer when they know what their placements will be until deciding on third/fourth/fifth year accommodation and counting on the fact that rooms do become free.

One problem with Bristol, that does not seem to happen elsewhere, is that they have quite a lot of teaching in the summer after exams or before the September term starts. (Indeed poor DD found this year that the summer school for her intercalation and the post exam Bristol stuff overlapped and she was technically in two places at once, albeit in her bedroom.) I would not count on earning much during the summer.