University Costs

[Cambridgegirl90]

Can I ask if other parents are reducing the amount of allowance they are giving to their children at university if they are coming home to study for extended periods due to Covid.
I understand they will still have accommodation costs so that still needs to be paid but I am considering this on the basis that food costs will go up at home and my daughters costs will go down.
Please do not flame me for asking this. I am genuinely interested if other parents are doing this or not.

Personally, no - I will not do this.
We budgeted for university costs and so We’ve decided to carry on the same, but then we are lucky that our income hasn’t changed.

I’m paying the accommodation, she lives off the money she gets.

OP you're right that your costs will rise and your student child's will drop if they're at home longer than they normally would be.

Do whatever works best for your household that you can afford; it's irrelevant what other parents do.

Yes we are reducing what we send if she is at home, why would we pay twice to feed her?
Only if home for more than 2 weeks - currently she is home for the lockdown and possibly until after Christmas.

Hadn't occurred to me but mine hasn't come home. Didn't make any changes between March and October!

Don't have DC at uni yet but I would.

The replies you receive on here may be skewed because MN seems to be dominated by those who have the resources to pay for their DC's accommodation costs, plus a generous allowance, plus treats. I don't say that in a sneery way but it doesn't necessarily reflect RL.

We didn't alter anything, but it's perfectly reasonable for parents who are on a tighter budget to do so. And some will unfortunately be much tighter than usual at the moment. I guess you could either reduce the allowance or work out your extra costs and charge them. Apart from food, we noticed when DD and her BF were here for a couple of months in the summer term, our water and gas bills went up - double the showers, more laundry and dishwashing.
Students are young adults, hopefully with the intelligence to understand domestic budgeting and costs if you show them the figures.

Thanks for the replies.
Our finances have been hit quite considerably by Covid so we will probably need to reduce the allowance to compensate for the increased costs whilst she's at home.
I am anticipating our daughter being upset and stating that "none of her friends parents are doing that" (!) so I appreciate the balances inputs.

Yes, I did when dd came home for 3 weeks. We were providing 3 meals a day for her whilst she was at home. I deducted £35 per week from what we give her.

Do the sums, get her to engage as an adult ( "none of her friends parents are doing that" would get a sceptical "are you twelve?" from me) and discuss if she would rather you made a deduction from her allowance or charged her food and her share of extra water and power costs. If your means are reduced then those are her options, aren't they?

I don't view my DD's as having "left home" until such time as they are in full time work, and have their own salary to support themselves. I always find MN surprising in that parents don't feel they have to support their children beyond 18. For me, and this is very personal, I would continue to support my children until they are fully independent. Maybe it's my Italian roots coming back to haunt me, most of my cousins children still living with them and being supported by them until they get married!

@Baaaahhhhh

I don't view my DD's as having "left home" until such time as they are in full time work, and have their own salary to support themselves. I always find MN surprising in that parents don't feel they have to support their children beyond 18. For me, and this is very personal, I would continue to support my children until they are fully independent. Maybe it's my Italian roots coming back to haunt me, most of my cousins children still living with them and being supported by them until they get married!

I am supporting my 19 year old student daughter to the tune of £900 per month (she can't get a loan for the course she's on so I give her the equivalent of what she'd get if she could). Having to pay out more on food whilst she's home instead of in halls of residence is not, not supporting them, it;s living according to your means especially as I have 16 year old ds at home as well.

We didn't alter anything, but it's perfectly reasonable for parents who are on a tighter budget to do so

It's perfectly reasonable if you're not on a tighter budget. So if DC are back home they don't need the (picks random figure) £200 you send them per month for food and sundries as, presumably, they're being added to the supermarket shop.

I always find MN surprising in that parents don't feel they have to support their children beyond 18

I don't see that on MN - quite the opposite. OP is happily housing and feeding her DC back in the family home. Nowt to do with Italian roots

I would reduce the allowance if DD had to come home.
Technically she could be home, there's no need for her to have gone at all.
I wish I knew that before, irk.

DS only gets his allowance which is extra to his accommodation costs when he's physically at uni. He doesn't need cash during long summers and lockdowns when he's eating us out of house and home and can get a job.

Oh well, horses for courses. I still give them the same allowance, if they aren't using it, they can save it for next term.

My one who is at home gets the same monthly allowance as when they were in catered halls to account for them not needing to buy food.

I do the same as FippertyGibbett , I pay the rent and they live off the loan.

.. I am wondering though for the one in halls if I will get a refund when they go home early as I have paid rent to the 18th Dec... I'm not holding out hope for that though.

I always find MN surprising in that parents don't feel they have to support their children beyond 18

No one is saying that on this thread. There's no need for anyone to pay twice for their DCs' food etc though, that's all. It's unreasonable for DC to expect double support - if some of us are have sufficient excess income or savings and can do that, then that's nice for them but it's a bonus not an entitlement.

We pay for DDs uni accommodation by direct debit so will continue to do so as she will be charged for it whether unis close or not. I suppose i could ask her to contribute food shop when she is here but i havent.
I think it depends on the maintenance loan they get and how you top them.up, but if you send her money for food and shes at home then I dont think its unreasonable to adjust what you give her

I know parents whose kids are working but live at home. Some of them contribute to the bills etc. some do not. It’s very much a family choice. Mine aren’t yet at university but I think I’d reduce the amount I gave them. I do think that’s fairest.

I pay rent, they live off their loans. In March, I had three undergraduates, and they all came home. I got them each to give me £200 - told them it was for food etc, but it was mostly so they didn't spend every last penny they had, and I gave it back to them in September when they went back/started doing new things. They were very grateful!