Accomodation nightmare

[Acacia123]

After the disaster that was results day, DD secured a place through clearing. It was the most stressful week I have ever had, and we were so relieved when it seemed to all fall into place.

Went on to the uni website to look at accomodation options, made a shortlist and phoned the accomodation office to book something only to be told there were no halls left.

So we had to go on a Facebook group for other freshers also looking for accomodation, and simply in the basis of a name and picture form a group of 5 and then rent a house through a letting agent. This was the second most stressful week of my life, but were again relieved to pay a holding fee and naively start planning moving day (time off work, car rental, packing etc).

Completed our paperwork, got references in order, signed guarantor forms - due to pay deposit and first months rent tomorrow (nearly £900 in total, massive but no surprise as we knew this from the start).

So in the group chat it has become apparent this evening that one of the girls cant pay tomorrow, she wont have the money till student finance comes through. I am hugely sympathetic as it is a massive amount of money, but she has known the deadline since.the beginning.

So the agent is threatening to put the house back on the market tomorrow and we loose our holding fee. And we have no accomodation.

This just sucks, we have to become hugely financially dependent on 4 other 18 year old girls that we know nothing about, no nothing about their ability or reliability to pay, complete strangers. And of course even though we are only the guarantors for DDs portion of the rent, the rental agreement says that each tenant is jointly and severely responsible for the rent, so in effect we could end up paying if any of the other girls dint meet their rent. We chose the cheapest reasonable house we could find but it is still over £2k per month for all 5 of them. It is terrifying.

It has just been such a massive roller coaster since results day and DD was finally starting to look forward to things again, and is now shattered.

Just want to get DD settled at Uni and for all the uncertainty to be over.

Just praying the other girl manages to get the money together in the meantime. I am not going to sleep tonight.

So glad it all sorted out. What a stressful time you have had. I can't believe some of the posts on here. As others have said sorting out private rental and all it entails is stressful particularly when you have no idea who the other people are.

Im glad it's sorted now OP. What a worry!

I feel so bad for kids who dint have decent support and backup.

Me too. It's commonplace on Mumsnet though. Not only do people not give their kids the right support but they try to belittle anyone who does so much as wash a pair of jeans for their child after they turn 12!

MN is a strange place. Some may be surprised to learn that even when your DC get their first job, and have to rent a place, parents may need to guarantor them in order for them to move in. Are you going to say, no, sorry, you are an adult now, jog on, live on the streets if need be .

Your DC didn't go to uni, did they?

My DC isn't old enough yet, but my brother and sister are 19 and 22, respectively, and they both went to University and managed to sort out their own accommodation.

@primabloodydonna

Your DC didn't go to uni, did they?

My DC isn't old enough yet, but my brother and sister are 19 and 22, respectively, and they both went to University and managed to sort out their own accommodation.

As far as you know.... it's very rare for students not to have to pay a deposit before they get their loan, and very rare that parents are guarantors. Maybe your siblings didn't tell you your parents did in fact lend them a deposit and sign the guarantor forms because they knew you'd be judgemental? 🤷‍♀️

*Rare that parents AREN'T guarantors

@primabloodydona Well good for them. Just so you know, my daughter and these girls managed to form a group (finding each other simply through a name and photo on Facebook), decide they could live together, find a rental property, navigate mountains of legal paperwork to secure the property with strict deadlines, deal with the rental agent (not easy), provide certified copies of documents, provide guarantors, provide referees, they have worked out a household budget, worked together to find the best deal with utility companies, arranged wifi for moving in day, got forms ready for council tax.

I'm actually incredibly proud of what they have all achieved. My daugher only turned 18 a fortnight ago. It's a big achievment.

I've always said to DD and DS, have a go at dealing with it but dont worry about running it by me if a second pair of eyes helps. Why is that so bad? I just dont get it?

This is NOT the same as simply moving in to halls. This makes moving into halls look like a walk in the park. I've done the whole halls thing with DS. You just sign the forms and turn up at halls on the day.

The girl who didnt think she could pay today (because her student loan doesnt come through for another couple of weeks) was literally worrying herself sick because she didnt want to ask her father. HOW SAD IS THAT? Her actual last resort was asking her father.

This makes me so mad. The fact that she didnt want to ask him for help (whether or not he could afford to give it is another matter).

We need to give our kids the tools to do these things themselves - most of us manage this admirably - but we also need to give them support if they need it.

And yes, most kids are perfectly capable of slicing an onion.

I'm quite concerned about people who think the ability to slice an onion is in any way connected to the need for parental involvement in securing housing where a guarantor is required.

I understand, op. I rented my first flat aged 24 and didn't know what the flip I was doing. And I was not at the same time; leaving home for the first time; barely 18; embarking on a rigorous course of study; dealing with bloody Covid 19.

OP I'm with you.

Renting a property is a chance to mentor a young person who is unfamiliar with contracts, utility bills etc.

I am a landlord, and DD was the one who was able to pick up the keys for their second year flat. We went through the inventory carefully, tested all the appliances and sent the agent a list: a few items that were h&s that needed to be addressed immediately (no temperature control on the shower, no carbon monoxide alarm), some items which would be nice to have (one cupboard was missing any shelves) and then notes on existing damage and defects.

We cleaned the flat, because it was filthy, and then sat down and looked at comparison websites for broadband (worth organising that one asap especially if they are on-line as it can take time, and be warned that anyone with a bad credit record can struggle to get an account) and utilities. Don't forget to apply for Council tax exemption. This can usually be done online, and easiest if one has the names and dates of birth for the others and does it for all of them. Make a decision on TV licence. If they decide not to get one, they need to be careful about the rules on streaming.

It worked well and their total bills were about half what some of their friends were paying. DD already knew the others so decided to put the bills in her name to build up a credit record, and then charged the others a monthly amount, though there are various share my bill schemes. The landlord was happy as the flat was cleaner and he managed to charge the next year tenants 30% more. Because the check in inventory was so heavily annotated, they got their deposit back promptly and in full. (The landlord would have known that had he tried deductions, he would have lost in any dispute.) A bit of initial help really paid off.

DD was a bit sneaky in that she suggested they had a list of each other's parents contact numbers. (It is a very good thing to do anyway, as well as in an emergency, it is not unknown for students to suffer, say with serious depression, to an extent that flatmates want to inform parents.) If rent/contract problems had emerged, we as guarantors would have had a way of contacting the others.

Third year and I did not need to be involved. And having gone through this first learning curve she has been pretty good at keeping on top of other University admin.

Good luck and I hope she enjoys it.

Thank you Needmoresleep for sharing your tips I am anxious as although he is 3rd year he is renting a flat on his own so good to know what we should be looking out for. The amount of paperwork I have had to provide as a guarantor is eye watering now playing waiting game to see if I am suitable 🙄

I suspect it is almost inevitable that one tenant turns out to be the lead, and goes on to be the one the landlord liaises with over repairs etc. DD became this, partly because I was there to advise. It was good learning, including reading a contract, building a constructive relationship with the landlord and gaining other softer skills that young adults may not have had a chance to develop. One issue, which I suspect happens often was that one of the flatmates was slow to pay DD for the bills (even though she had set up annual contracts with fixed monthly payments so they could do it by direct debit). The solution was to use one of the other flatmates as debt collector. Being "flat mum" did not mean she could not delegate.

It is perfectly possible that his mother is telling others that she left everything to her son because he was "an adult" and so did not need her help or experience. And that people like me are doing it wrong. However the fact is that her son sat back and left it all to his flatmates, and so was no more of an adult than they were. (Though he was very nice - admin and organisation just weren't his thing.)

@primabloodydonna

Your DC didn't go to uni, did they?

My DC isn't old enough yet, but my brother and sister are 19 and 22, respectively, and they both went to University and managed to sort out their own accommodation.

How did they secure a rental flat at 18 with no credit rating or guarantor?

@Baaaahhhhh

MN is a strange place. Some may be surprised to learn that even when your DC get their first job, and have to rent a place, parents may need to guarantor them in order for them to move in. Are you going to say, no, sorry, you are an adult now, jog on, live on the streets if need be .

Unfortunately, the complete lack of support is possibly the reason that so many young people end up in abusive relationships.

@Medievalist

Did you miss the bit where the OP is guarantor and could end up liable for other girls' rents if they don't pay? The girls aren't independent as they need parental guarantees.

^^. This

They're not independent at all. And most (sensible) people when asked to be a guarantor, like to know what they're letting themselves in for.

Exactly this. I would be tempted to maybe pay it for her and then if she doesn't come up with the money in due course, get another tenant in.

Yes, thanks @needmoresleep , lots of good advice there.

needmoresleep, that was such useful info, thank you.

What do you mean @Spam88, they all had to camp out in the living room??!!

Yep @Dizzywizz There was a tv room and a common room, think it was boys in one girls in the other. As people dropped out in the first few weeks they slowly all got moved to rooms. Crazy isn't it 😂 think it was quite a bonding experience for them though.

@unmarkedbythat

I'm quite concerned about people who think the ability to slice an onion is in any way connected to the need for parental involvement in securing housing where a guarantor is required.

Indeed.

Good update op. I wish I'd had a supportive mum like you.

That is crazy @Spam88, thanks for responding

I'm glad you got it sorted OP.

The only thing I'd have done differently is I'd have suggested your daughter not put her name on all the bills. Especially as one of the girls has already shown herself to be a bit flakey. My kids generally took one or two bills each and then worked out who owed who every month or so.

It's different if they all know each other well.

I still help my kids with all sorts of thing and they are all proper adults. One is buying a house and actively wanted me to help. I'm way more knowledgable than them about some stuff so why wouldn't I help. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Of course they need a guarantor at this age. There is no other way to rent. People criticising have clearly not been through it. You and your DD have done well, OP.

Funding does come through late and that’s why uni halls don’t ask for the first payment until October. Incidentally at my son’s uni it’s pretty much expected that parents will be paying via credit card for hall fees - as students wouldn’t have that much of a credit facility. Parents are also invited to a drinks party in Freshers’ week (in normal circumstances) and are emailed a newsletter. There are a lot of Americans there and because of the cost of it all it’s expected parents are involved. The days of a full student grant and total independence at 18 are long gone.

Especially as one of the girls has already shown herself to be a bit flakey. My kids generally

How is waiting for Student Finance flakey?
FFS!