Oxbridge 2020 (thread 10) - the path to the first term (just one slight hurdle to clear first)

[DadDadDad]

For better or worse, there is a bit of a bond of mutual experience between parents whose DC go through the Oxbridge application process. Thank you for your companionship so far - and thank you to others who started the earlier threads in this series.

This thread should take us to the start of the first term (whatever form that takes). All welcome here, but for many of us hopefully this will be the place for practical support as we help prepare these peculiar* young adults to spread their wings.

But the first item on the agenda appears to be the small matter of judgement...

*or for those who chose Oxford, very peculiar.

I'm afraid this might out my DS if anyone goes to his college, but he's planning on spending much of his time wearing the attached. It's quite snuggly.

No idea why he thinks he needs it, because he's coming from a much colder place, but still.

DS's college has also put up a marquee in a quad to enable everyone to eat together in "bubbles". The picture posted suggests that it is heated - can't imagine the cost of doing that for a term!!
DS is choosing to take stuff mostly from home but DD went for the matching vibe. Clashed terribly in first year with a red and gold room but came up trumps in a tasteful mint green room last year .

Ha @SnapSnapDragon, looks like that will cope with most scenarios! The Cambridge climate will come as a shock to my DS!

@SnapSnapDragon - I love it. That dog looks very like our dog. If our DS cross paths my DS will definitely gravitate towards him.

I think Trinity's "you must bring only the minimum amount of belongings you require, primarily for academic purposes and basic living standards" is particularly ridiculous, considering the fact that (a) on average they will be spending far more time in their room than in previous years and (b) they're at increased risk of feeling lonely and isolated compared to previous years, and a few home comforts might mitigate this.

Horrible statement from Trinity (reported assets £1.5bn), I thought.

D1 has managed to book an arrival slot for the Saturday afternoon and has been given her room number, so that's a bit of a relief. Also that they will be in bubbles of about 8, and the self catering kitchens will be open (microwaves only though) - also a relief, she won't have to cook rice in her kettle

Agreed, the Trinity message sounded really unwelcoming. The number of times it stressed "at your own cost" seemed particularly unfriendly .. or maybe it was the Guardian repeating that phrase a number of times? I am glad that DS Oxford college has taken a very different tone with its welcome note / welcome video.

As of this evening it would seem that pre-season rugby is still on and I am keeping my fingers crossed that this remains the case, although I suppose it is looking increasingly unlikely. But all being well I'll be embarking on the long drive with DS a week from today.

I've name changed to say that DC is heading to Trinity Cambridge, and that I'm worried about the contents and tone of that accommodation agreement.
According to DC, the college has said that they will be testing students for Covid every week.
Are we looking at students being removed from College and left to fend for themselves if they get Covid? And if someone in their accommodation family gets Covid?
What are they supposed to do? They probably won't have any spare money (will have paid Trinity for college accommodation out of their student grant), plus they will be required to self-isolate. It may well at that stage be illegal for them to be out and about looking for accommodation, and illegal for them to take public transport home. Any parent who comes to pick them up (in our case we're hours away) is likely to catch Covid on the drive home.
Plus the whole tone is so unwelcoming. As if having students at the college is something the college doesn't actually want.
What do other people think?

I'm really surprised at how different the Trinity tone is from the communications DD has been getting from her own college (Oxford). Those have been unfailingly positive, practical and supportive. What is it that makes Trinity's situation so different?

My DD has a place at Cambridge and her college has been so supportive, friendly and welcoming. Their tone has been the opposite of Trinity.

What a shame - like other posters experience, DS Oxford college have been very reassuring and practical.

I have no data to offer but I have to say I'm afraid that is largely my experience with Trinity's public messaging. They unfailing hit the 'we're Trinity and far more important than you are' note.

Luckily they are not representative of the university at large.

If the Trinity stance was meant to fit in with the advice that in a household with an infected member, anyone who is particularly vulnerable to infection may move out temporarily, for their own protection, then it would make some sort of sense. But the likelihood of multiple members of each student group being in this situation seems unlikely and the statement about the priority being 'to protect the College community' does seem to imply that they really do mean, If you test positive, you're out, which is totally baffling - the college is the student's place of residence as well as study during term time; it's not a day school - and particularly so, given the previous occupation of its Master?

Strange and unhelpful from Trinity.

I’m only just reading Thursday’s paper. One line rang alarm bells: Oxford is on amber alert amid concerns over the return of students. No idea what that means.

I think it refers to the Oxford Mail getting very cross with partying Oxford Brookes students who are already there PantTwizzler.

Ah. Yes, DS has a friend who’s just gone to Exeter university who said he went to three parties on his first night 🧐

I'm delurking to add a little bit more information and thoughts about what Trinity have said to students. I'm a parent of an existing Trinity student.

The agreement they've had to sign does seem draconian and unwelcoming and for a fresher it must seem alarming. A follow up email was sent to students and I don't think their intention is to send students who have tested positive home. I think they are covering themselves in the event that the government require universities to close to students.

It would have been nice if they had managed to created an agreement that didn't seem to cover armageddon though.

My dc will be taking their usual amount of stuff on the understanding that they will have to be able to carry it too and from the car themselves.

Pictures are an extract from the email.

TrinityParent - can I ask whether your DC's experience of Trinity has been a good one? I'm feeling nervous about it now.

I've sent you a pm so we can chat fortyducks.

I suspect the lack of family is due to administrative delays rather than more sinister reasons (I hope so anyway!). I noticed on Twitter that DS Oxford college had a student Q&A session on Youtube (for the Open Day I think). I listened to a random 15 minutes and they were talking about college parents. All seemed to agree it was a lovely tradition and a couple of them said they were hoping to hear about children soon and hoped that "the letters would go out" in the next couple of days. It's possible DS has received the letter by now; however, he's not talking to me at the moment because I had some good-natured banter with his friends as they were all heading on a night out and "tried to be a cool Mum". I may have had a couple of drinks at a friend's house first...

Assuming I am still green lighted to take him down next week, and assuming training is still on, I plan to spend the night in a hotel/inn, but not in Oxford itself. I figured it was easier and cheaper to find something in, say, Northamptonshire. Also I'd be happier to leave his stuff in the car overnight in a village rather than centre of Oxford. So maybe you could consider that @Coleoptera

Just a thought @Coleoptera, maybe the freshers rep would be better placed for those domestic Q’s? Seems to be the case for DD’s college. Her parents have been lovely and helpful too but more so in a “ My friend did that paper, I’ll get them to contact you” sort of way , we’ll take you out for dinner etc

I’m feeling more relaxed about DS starting than I was about DD last year. I’m sure my various worries will soon be proved as irrelevant as those for DD last year. DS does have parents but hasn’t been accepted in any of the various FB groups so there’s no option of asking things there even if he wanted to. I’m stoically refusing to contemplate either O or C sending students home en masse.

Hoping DD will also have moved in 2 weeks today. She has simply been asked to select Manor PM and to arrive after 10 or before 3.30 when their first activities are scheduled. She hasn't received an email telling her that she has either a quirky size bed or shared bathroom, so we're assuming she has a single ensuite in college. Her PPE mum has been in regular contact and suggested a meet up (which was lovely, but impractical), but hasn't found her chemistry Dad yet.

Struggling to think of a college which has en-suite as norm for first years - does one exist?!

I'm with you PantTwizzler, on that particular stoical front!