Oxbridge 2020 (thread 10) - the path to the first term (just one slight hurdle to clear first)

[DadDadDad]

For better or worse, there is a bit of a bond of mutual experience between parents whose DC go through the Oxbridge application process. Thank you for your companionship so far - and thank you to others who started the earlier threads in this series.

This thread should take us to the start of the first term (whatever form that takes). All welcome here, but for many of us hopefully this will be the place for practical support as we help prepare these peculiar* young adults to spread their wings.

But the first item on the agenda appears to be the small matter of judgement...

*or for those who chose Oxford, very peculiar.

@Coleoptera, apologies for anything misleading; I think we’re allowed to help unload and take things to rooms but encouraged not to hang around arranging pot-plants and making beds etc.
I see the post from C about inviting volunteers for deferrals from across the cohort but also saying that anyone offered and confirmed before 17th is guaranteed their place. Phew. But also, heck, what this Government is putting universities through , before they even start teaching.
In other news, DT2 has two interviews for , total curveball, nursing degrees tomorrow. Clever RCN email drop via UCAS a couple of days ago and she had a lightbulb moment. I find something really touching about the NHS maybe getting some good recruits out of this mess, silver linings etc. Mustnt get ahead of ourselves though, fingers crossed.

D1 has sent off her contract and application for Bod card etc with passport photo, and emailed the office to ask if she can arrive on the Sat (They'd said probable start date would be Mon with a 30min slot) as it's 600 mile round trip for us and I've got some hospital appts on Monday morning. Am hoping it will be OK. She's got to know a few people on one of her joint subjects in her college, and nearly all the people on her course at other colleges (there's only one person per college) so I'm sure she will be absolutely fine - but I still want to help her unpack, and take her for a food shop. So I'm hoping that will be allowable!

@DadDadDad - I think that's good advice. I'm assuming a very quick kiss and drop for DS1. DH and I (he insists he is coming as well) will have a nice meal on our own and head home. Luckily we're on the 'right' side of London for Oxford so it's an easy trip. I can imagine DS1 wanting his own space and we need to respect that. But other DC will be different.

Hopefully we will hear soon Coleoptera - difficult for you having to drop off in both O and C, fingers crossed you can do both. I doubt somehow that gap year students like ours will be asked to defer but who knows what might happen next!

That’s great news hobbema for DT2, hope both interviews go well and fingers crossed for a successful outcome. What a timely email drop!

We’re hoping to spend a couple of days in Cambridge once we’ve dropped off DS. We’ve postponed a holiday and 2 long w/e breaks so looking forward to a couple of days break (whilst avoiding DS unless he wants to see us).

Good luck to your DT with her nursing interviews @hobbema . Would be very exciting if she feels she has found her calling.

Unlike many DC on here, my DS has been avoiding social media. He finally dipped a toe in the water today .. and it took all of 15 mins for him to be "discovered" by his college rugby club. Cue furious weights session in the garden..

Waiting for confirmation of DS’s arrival date in Cambridge. Oxford are insisting DD arrives Oct 4th.

Hadn’t heard anything specific about “drop and run” but I doubt DS will want us to hang around after unpacking. It’s a long drive home and I suspect we’ll be doing Ox and Cambridge back to back anyway.

We didn’t look around DD’s college on drop off day but had a tour at a parents lunch a few weeks later. Obviously, everything this year is Covid dependant.

This is a really helpful conversation about moving in...I am getting waaay too clucky and protective, I guess because this is the first DC to leave home. Will try and brace myself for a drop and run, rather than sitting around drinking tea like a spare part.

We too, haven't seen around DS's college. I'm embarrassed to say I emailed them to see if there was any chance of having a look around. They came back with a really nice note to say they can do something early in September, which is lovely of them.

Other than that, no communication from DS's college, but I guess they have a lot on their plate right now so I don't blame them!

Another one who has never seen DS's college. His grandfather kindly dropped him off for both the open day and the interviews, and then collected him when he was done. At least DS has been there; the next round of applicants may not have that opportunity.

Waiting for a formal offer and to hear whether DC's arrival date will be October 2020 or October 2021! Expecting a totally unplanned for gap year during Covid / no deal Brexit!

I haven’t seen DD’s college (or Oxford at all) either! We didn’t attend open days because she didn’t have time and then interviews were weekdays so she had to get the train down. She’s also avoided all the Oxbridge social media - she doesn’t like meeting people online and has always been private with her personal accounts. She has just today registered her interest for OUWBC through an online form, but she’s got very into running over lockdown and hasn’t been able to row that frequently (and mainly single or double sculling) so isn’t sure if she should go for athletics/cross country instead. She’s also played high level netball for the past few years but thinks she’ll just do that rarely and casually.

She’s also decided to hold off making a decision on attending because she thinks she’ll “just know” how she feels nearer the time - it doesn’t feel quite close enough/real for her to make a definitive decision. Hopefully it won’t be so late that it’s a case of turning the car around...

@flowerrful so happy to hear your DC has a place! Even if delayed it’ll be nice to have a very sorted plan for the end of the gap year.

I'll be doing both O and C this October @Coleoptera so also anxiously awaiting news about dates.

Last year we managed to squeeze in a nice pub lunch with DD1 in Oxford on the day we dropped her off. Went back to a pub we'd liked 30 years ago. (Everywhere is so much more posh in Oxford nowadays!). Hoping we will have the chance to do likewise with DS.

Yes, I did have a little cry in the car on the way home after dropping off DD1. But I have a feeling that it will all be much less intense with DS1. Just as weaning, potty training etc seemed so massive with the PFB, but much less so with the younger DC, I suspect it's similar with university.

And yes, we went and visited mid-term for a nice meal, catch-up and drop off of various forgotten items. That seemed to work well.

Apparently Oxbridge are expecting a big drop in applications from the EU next year, because that's when international fees kick in. So it gives them some leeway to defer people from this year to next year, without penalising next year's applicants too much (not sure what the numbers are though).

Finally feeling we can get excited now after the anxiety of the last few months and the shocks of last week. DS and I went shopping today to buy his kitchen essentials (though I drew the line at weighing scales and a whisk being 'essential - the boy does love to cook!) and the oft recommended mattress topper. I think we should be able to pack most things into 1 wheelie case and 1 box in case of quick exits being needed.

@gizmo also feeling a bit anxious about drop off as DS is my 'only' - so maybe we can hang around and drink tea together. DS is another who has heard nothing from his college yet although we do know there is a drop off window of between 3-5 October.

@flowerrful - I think I missed the post where your ds was taken from the pool - congrats!

Coleoptera DS plans to buy an old bike once he is in Oxford and then just leave it there over the holidays. He's not taking his instruments for the first term, also until he knows what the workload is. He is at a college which has self catering facilities so we have bought 1 fry pan, 1 saucepan, 2x plates, bowl, cup and cutlery set, sharp knife and chop board, tin and bottle openers, wooden spoon and sieve (he eats a lot of rice). He wants to self cater most of the time though I have made him promise to go and have a few meals (it's payg) just to be sociable

DD's college says to contact the accom officer after rooms have been allocated for bed size. There are a few doubles used for conference/ visitors in DD's college.

5 Oct arrival here. I had expected it to be over the weekend, but luckily I can squeeze in a day off.

DD's bike lock will probably be worth far more than any bike she buys on site!

Coleoptera you can order bedding for direct delivery to the college or click & collect on the day if space is at a premium.

DD's bike lock will probably be worth far more than any bike she buys on site!

Definitely! DD left uni with her lock and helmet. Bike was left for the next generation of students . She bought hers from the "pool" of left bikes for £40, and it lasted 3 years (just). Oxford go round and collect unwanted bikes and sell them off for charity the next year.

@HuaShan: yes, a quiet meet up and gibber session sounds like a good idea. Although I have a feeling that it's going to be difficult to dissuade his siblings from wanting to come along and 'help' so it might not be that quiet .

I'm not altogether clear how much storage there is at DS college so trying to resist too much purchasing! It looks like a pretty minimalist set up which will suit spartan DS fine.

At least he has pre-broken his bike so it is fairly theft proof: it's survived 5 years of the Cambridge bike thieves and I can't believe anyone would fancy it now.

DS is planning to check with the college closer to the time before packing formal wear. No point in taking it this term if they aren't going to be able to wear it.

His college has limited kitchen facilities and he doesn't enjoy cooking, so he'll be taking minimal cooking equipment (microwave sistema containers, knife & chopping board, and then one pan & wooden spoon if he'll have access to a hob).

DD travelling light ….. so far roller skates, art materials, make up, laptop and clothes. She is working on the assumption that her stair case will end up with duplicates of everything so she will borrow or buy what everyone has forgotten when she gets there. There is no point buying things here to drive it half way across the country to realise she doesn't need it.

I'll dig out the list I did for DD1 for all you newbies. DD2 is deferring and her College has been lovely about it- as they have been about everything. She's lost too much ground without NHS treatment. A year of physio and inpatient ahead and a year from now, she'll be off.
Big tip- get a laundry bag with backpack straps!