‘Autism is worth a grade’

[Extracurricularfatigue]

Sorry, this is a bit long.

DS is year 12 and has late diagnosed ASD (15) and ADHD (17). He is very bright to talk to and in his freestyle written ideas but wasn’t able to cope very well with the GCSE structures or revision so has a mixed bag of grades. He has continued to struggle at A level. He’s currently predicted 3Bs and we’re waiting to find out what his AS grades will be with no great optimism for much higher.

He has refused to engage at all with university courses until the last week or so, however hard we’ve tried, but has now finally got interested. He has decided he wants to study physics, with maybe computer science. This is a turnaround as until now he’s only ever wanted to do computing. He got a 7 for Physics GCSE.

Obviously none of these grades is bad in themselves, but he is refusing to accept reality. He wants to apply for universities like Durham and Imperial, which are looking for A*s and As. He won’t engage with the reality of things, and says a friend has told him ‘Autism is worth a grade’ in offers.

I understand that a good interview and reference together with his diagnosis might lead to a contextual offer which may be slighter lower than standard. But I really doubt he can bridge the gap to the extent required, and I’m so concerned he will end up putting enormous pressure on himself and failing to get in anywhere.

In my day back in the last century, physics courses went into clearing even at Russell Group because they were so undersubscribed. I don’t know if that’s still the case but I assume he would be fine in clearing regardless if it came to it - particularly if he did end up with 3 Bs. But it would be so much better for his mental health to apply for places he has a realistic chance of getting into, wouldn’t it?

Can you agree to lose the 'Durham/Imperial' battle and concentrate on the remaining three choices? Ensuring he picks sensible ones? QM and Cardiff are two off the top of my head that are both RG and likely to take 3 x Bs for Physics.

Am I right in thinking that if a student significantly exceeds their predictions, they can also look at clearing, even with a firm offer?

I believe so. Research UCAS Adjustment.

titchy I probably wasn’t clear in my opening essay. He is talking about applying for 4 or 5 ‘aspirational’ unis. If it were just one or even two I would totally not have the fight as frankly we lose almost all fights with him!

Yes, ironoaks, this is another issue he won’t engage with properly. He will agree that he would be far better off on a campus or small city university - zero sense of direction, sensory overload etc - but that is coming second place to academic glory when actually making choices.

Don,t know if it,s helpful to give lower offers to people with additional needs as they still have to have the capabilities to do the course. I am not sure if positive discrimination is really that positive. I would try to discuss with teachers what you can do together to help him get the best grade and find a course suitable, Durham is aiming high.

Surely you have to go with his choices . No harm in applying. If you dont apply you will never know. And have a plan B .
"Ok apply to the ones you want. Of course you can have a plan B so clearing if you dont get the grades" "it would be good to include one uni which takes lower grades as an insurance"

UCAS adjustment... Check.

I will get myself totally up to date with uni application processes I promise. Just thought I’d ask while I had expertise at my fingertips!

If he insists on five top grade choices go with it
Why argue?
and just let him know there will be options like clearing if they dont work out

Southampton is Russell Group and was taking BBB in Clearing last summer. Lovely campus and a friendly Physics department. Good opportunities for placements.

Yes, ironoaks, this is another issue he won’t engage with properly. He will agree that he would be far better off on a campus or small city university - zero sense of direction, sensory overload etc - but that is coming second place to academic glory when actually making choices.

We had this issue. Fortunately we were able to visit them (might not be possible this year) and DS realised that he felt most comfortable at campus universities like Warwick. He can use the tube and trains but finds buses harder. He can't cycle (difficulties with coordination, motor skills and spatial awareness) so of course he decided to firm the offer from Cambridge.

Of course he’ll go with his choices. Ultimately it’s his life and his decision. It’s just not an informed decision at this point.

We will be here for him whatever happens and I’m sure he’ll end up OK eventually. But he’s had a lot of mental health challenges in his life, and the past few months haven’t helped him (or anyone) so I’m trying to see how much we can limit how hard the next year and beyond is for him.

Realistic university applications would make a huge difference to the pressure he’ll be facing, and into his university life.

We are very much hoping that contextual offers for SLD are made to fit the candidate rather than as a blanket policy, in that they are made if the admissions team judges that a person’s ability to learn outstrips their ability to meet exam requirements. So if he does end actually up with one, it’s because they think he is right for their course. As parents we totally don’t want him going to the wrong university by hook or by crook, but unhelpfully he seems to have decided that his diagnosis is a bit of a magic bullet to these high offer unis.

My suggestion as the mother of an autistic 18 year old:
Many autistics have much less well developed skills if independence than their peers. This includes practical skills like cooking and travelling alone, self care skills like keeping oneself clean, washing clothes etc, but also the core skills of managing, organising and prioritising workloads in an environment where the onus is upon oneself to structure one's learning. Unless your DS has no lags in these areas (rare for autism) then he may find aspects of living away from home really hard even without the coursework. So I would suggest that he plan to take a year out between school and University. This means he gets 15 months to work on independent lifeskills without academic pressures. He also learns the responsibility of doing some work (even if it's voluntary), managing money etc. He then applies for University as a mature student with his A level grades that he will, by then, have achieved. This means he makes realistic choices and gets firm offers, no "what ifs".

Much better all round.

ironoaks I can’t cycle and I survived Cambridge so it’s entirely doable! Which college? I’m not sure Girton without a bike would be enormous fun but the majority are walkable and you keep an eye on halls choices.

Ihearyou, I hear you! And absolutely all of that applies to him. Unfortunately his iron will is currently set entirely against a gap year. It would not be the worst thing in the world if it ended up happening by chance, although my husband is slightly despairing at the prospect as he refuses to do any sort of paid or voluntary work because of intense social anxiety, so he worries that a ‘gap year’ would simply be a gaming year.

Embracelife it is the mental health aspect that worries me.

extracurricular - a gaming year that includes learning to cook, wash clothes, maybe visit a friend in another town by train, and developing confidence and skills of self management wouldn't be wasted.
If he can't handle doing any type of paid or voluntary work because of social anxiety - serious question - what's the purpose of his degree?

My DS is going into a supported internship for two reasons: 1. His huge mental health crash means that he had to drop 1 A level and has probably failed a second (started with 3 As predicted). So uni isn't really realistic for him now

1. He would never get a job with his current social skills - wouldn't be able to speak at interview.

We have chosen the supported internship route rather than have him spend the next 5 years in his bedroom....

I've just had another thought for your DS @Extracurricularfatigue

Many universities will accept slightly lower grades for the three year BSc course, and on results day some may offer this to people who applied for the four year course but narrowly miss the grades. If by the end of second year, it looks as though he's on track for a 2:1 or higher, there's often an option to transfer to the four year course (with integrated masters).

Those suggesting a year out, this is a good idea for many young people, but to access an undergraduate physics course, their A-level maths has to be secure and confident. They can't just do no maths for 15 months and expect to hit the ground running. They'd need to be quite self-motivated to continue practising maths independently.

@Extracurricularfatigue it's a central college, I'll PM you but would rather not name the college on here because the number of male PhysNatSci students starting at the college is in single figures. It's about 1.5 miles to the physics labs. Luckily he likes walking.

Ihearyou his degree is because he wants to do it. He is capable of conversation and social interaction in a context that he is happy to be in, and his work experience was very successful, and his boss asked him to do some app development work afterwards. If a uni interview is entirely about an academic subject he will be absolutely fine, and he can busk adult conversation about other things to.

He’s complicated - he doesn’t WANT to get any sort of job so he comes up with reasons why he won’t do it. He wants to sit in his room gaming and interacting virtually because that is totally his comfort zone and moving him out of it is like trying to shift Stonehenge. He can travel - he has taken planes and trains independently (with us on the end of a phone), he can stick a pizza in the oven. and he does his own washing, so I probably shouldn’t have said he totally met your description.

His issues are problem solving, initiative and motivation. And yes, social anxiety with peers and strangers - he worries about asking where something is in a shop. He will be able to live independently, he will live on Pot Noodle, his clothes will smell, he will probably not leave his room often. He is though very young for his year and very immature in his outlook so a gap year for those reasons, and consolidating life skills like cooking and proactively coping with using transport, finding his way, making decisions, would be good for him. I do take the maths point entirely though, and a year in which he remained at home could go either way in terms of building maturity - sink or swim may actually be the better approach although I do think a year of working at a suitable job might do wonders for him.

The four year thing is definitely worth thinking about. He is keen to do a Masters as he thinks they’re essential for a PhD (running before he walk here obviously) but I have already told him, as you might imagine, that he can develop things as he goes along.

I'm an autistic 33 year old woman who is bright enough to have gotten a good education and didn't, ending up becoming a chef. I was diagnosed at 29 when carrying my first child. I have three autistic adult nieces and nephews. None achieved a degree yet.
I have two sons 2 and 4 and my eldest is diagnosed moderate repetitive behavior and severe language delays on the spectrum and my youngest son SPD and language delay and is on the asdat pathway. Of course I'm hoping for better for them.

Realistically imo an autistic child is more like a neurotypical 18 year old at the age of 25. So I also would recommend that your son absolutely should aim at the degree he wants, at the uni he wants, but waiting for the absolute last possible moment before he's too old for proper funding. Patience from you during this next 7 years absolutely will pay off. Your son likely will go on to do incredible things.

Hi. Thanks so much for your post. I think my son is broadly ready academically for university and is very keen to go, and although an extra year could work well, I don’t think much longer than that would be right for him. I do though totally agree that he’s likely to ‘grow up’ a lot more in the coming years and we will be entirely supportive of whatever winding road he ends up on while that happens.

That's quite some drop out rate- where did you go Tish? If you don't mind saying

Two issues really, aiming perhaps too high for all his choices is one but more important is becoming fixated on a subject course when another might best fit him. Rather than argue yet about what is too aspirational choice, suggest to him to do more detailed research into different courses with a physics or computing element at his preferred universities by select img the modules he best likes the sound of (including modules on gaming software!). He will then at least be more informed about what he likes now. He should definitely IMO go through an application this year to provide set goals.

I would just reinforce to him that it is ok and common to change degree preferences and that most have another rethink in the summer after A levels.

Op: very few universities interview. Oxbridge yes, but others not routinely so. Not sure if send students would be interviewed but I doubt it. So for physics he will stand or fall by his attainment.

What are the other three aspirational choices besides Durham and Imperial?