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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Anyone studied at university whilst having a newborn baby in tow?

24 replies

Singsoul91 · 09/06/2020 14:08

Hi!

Just wondered if anyone studied a university course with having a baby under 1?

I'm due on 5th Aug and wanting to go back to university in September to progress onto my masters.

I understand it will be hard work but I plan on doing a distance learning course part time so it is easier for me.

Any advice would be great

OP posts:

TinySleepThief · 09/06/2020 14:13

There is absolutely no way I could have done my undergraduate degree with a newborn let alone a masters! I'm bot saying uts impossible but I couldn't have even imagined how tired I would be. DS had colic and a suspected milk allergy he would only sleep on me for the first 2 months and even now at 6 months hes a very high needs baby. That's not even taking into account your recovery from the birth or the fact baby might be late. You might get lucky with a more biddable baby but I wouldn't underestimate just how hard it might be.

CleverQuacks · 09/06/2020 14:15

I gave birth to my son during my second year of uni. I continued on to my third year and completed the course with a first so it’s definitely possible. It was exhausting though!

HGC2 · 09/06/2020 14:19

I did my masters while pregnant and after giving birth. I did it only because my husband did everything in the house and all I had to do was baby or studying. It was hard going though

EmperorCovidula · 09/06/2020 14:24

I had my second child while doing an undergrad. It was fine but I was on a humanities course so I only did max 6 hours of work per week with the occasional cram session but also sone weeks where I did nothing at all. I would imagine that it would be far more difficult on a lab based course for example,

CuriousPixie · 09/06/2020 14:24

I was two thirds of the way through my Masters when I became pregnant again. I went to night school to complete it. Then prepped my dissertation to fit in with his birth. Fortunately my DD who was a toddler at the time was a very good sleeper and would have enormous naps during the day.

After he was born I had about three months of no Uni work then I just gritted my teeth and got on with writing up dissertation whenever I could. Unfortunately he was a shit sleeper in comparison to DD and I just had to grab time when I could. DH was supportive and helped out as much as possible.

For my own situation I couldn't have physically gone to Uni with a toddler, a baby and a DH who worked away a lot. Looking back I still don't know how I managed it but I got there in the end.

Doing it distance learning like you say, is probably the best option. Be prepared to be flexible in your approach and let other stuff slide so you can use slack time for Uni rather than a pristine house.

Good luck, you can do it!

thejoysofboys · 09/06/2020 14:29

There would have been no chance with my DC1. Cried non-stop for 4 months and only settled if i held him.
Once he got to 6 months and napped properly i would have had a chance to study a couple of hours a day provided i wasn't catching up on chores.
what help do you have available OP? Do you have the option to study around a partner's work shifts for example?

Lunasunrise · 09/06/2020 14:31

I started my masters when my DC were 10 months, 2 and 4. I've been doing it part time, so over two years and also distance learning. I'm writing my dissertation at the moment. It has been hard, but I am managing. I usually have one day a week child free to work and it's surprising how productive I can be in that time! Around assignment deadline times DH takes them out for a few hours over the weekends and I work a few evenings too if I need to. I am really enjoying it and has made me feel so much more like myself again, especially after DC. You do need to be organised and self disciplined but to be honest I've found that much easier since having DC compared to 18 year old me at uni the first time. Good luck!

Lunasunrise · 09/06/2020 14:33

I also agree with making your peace with letting stuff slide in the house when you have a deadline. I did get stressed trying to do everything at home at the same time but it's impossible so definitely have to prioritise at that moment what is the most important

glisteninginkcap · 09/06/2020 14:50

Not a newborn but I'm doing a masters with a 2 year old who was 1 when I started. I'm a single mum - no contact with the father due to abuse - and I'm doing it full-time, at a university about 60 miles away and not distance learning (but only an hour by train). It's a struggle and I wouldn't have been able to do it without my parents and my childminder but I've got through the taught part and now working on my dissertation.

It's possible and if my experience is anything to go by, universities are extremely supportive of parents of young children.

Good luck!

senden84 · 09/06/2020 15:57

I had my first DC during my 3rd year. It was pretty hard but I had been working full-time during the first 2 years so I didn't find it too awful - I was used to getting no sleep as I used to write my essays overnight then go into work. I think going part-time is a great idea.

MittensTheSerpent · 11/06/2020 18:24

Madness to even consider it! I'm suspending my PhD for at least 6 months when my baby arrives.

AdvicePlease09 · 12/06/2020 22:34

I started university with an 8 month old and will be going into my 3rd year in October.

One of the top 5 uni's in the UK, moved 300 miles away, no family and lone parent, also standing on a strong first. I can't speak for a masters, but I would say it is definately doable, so long as you are very motivated and organised.

Catastrofuck · 12/06/2020 22:37

I have had lots of students who have had babies whilst studying the undergraduate course I work on. I don’t know how they manage childcare etc (I’m not in a pastoral role so don’t know those details). I have had two children whilst studying with the OU but that is different as it is distance learning and I can reduce the number of modules I study if required.

Catastrofuck · 12/06/2020 22:38

(I haven’t actually had to defer any modules and have done assignments and exams with a newborn, but I at least had the choice to defer more easily)

DurhamDurham · 12/06/2020 22:40

Our daughter went back to finish her nursing degree when her baby was 6 months old. She got a lot of support from family or I think it would have been a struggle. She got through it but it was hard work and stressful, luckily she was two thirds of the way through her degree so it didn't last long.

Catastrofuck · 12/06/2020 22:40

“ usually have one day a week child free to work and it's surprising how productive I can be in that time”

It certainly focuses the mind and I procrastinate very little since having children because the study time is so precious

grey12 · 13/06/2020 03:52

@thejoysofboys same here!!!! DC1 was a super needy baby. With her I never understood how mothers could ever accomplish anything!! I basically put her down on her playgym so I could have breakfast and that's it. On my arms the rest of the day. Couldn't put her down for her nap...

OP you could be unlucky like us... but with huge effort I'm pretty sure you could do your studies. Do you have help at home? For babysitting and housework?

Also, talk to students who done that masters for tips and tricks

Good luck!!

Sunshine0620 · 13/06/2020 05:59

I did one module for my PGDip whilst on mat leave when DS was 4 months, blended learning (mostly online, couple of on campus sessions). I found the staff really accommodating and they worked around me when setting deadlines etc (although I was only one of a handful of students on said programme). I’d recommend speaking to the tutors to see how they might be able to accommodate you 🙂 good luck!

Fink · 13/06/2020 06:12

I started my part-time Masters when DD was young, but not a baby. I can't remember how old exactly, probably preschooler. I'm now doing my PhD, which is way harder to manage with dc. The Masters had very definite peaks and troughs with set deadlines, and I could farm dc out to relatives (I'm a single parent) for a day during really busy times. The PhD is a constant slog and I just have to force myself to make time for it when dc don't need me (asleep etc.). Masters was definitely manageable, in hindsight.

Understanding tutors make all the difference.

TwittleBee · 13/06/2020 06:18

You could do a part time course?

I done a part time masters whilst working and had a baby.

It wasnt too bad really. I used my lunch breaks to complete assignments and completed reading whilst breastfeeding in the evenings.

Authenticcelestialmusic · 13/06/2020 06:29

I had my dd before starting my third year. I wrote my essays (handwritten back then) whilst feeding her. Luckily she fed for hours and hours a day! I had plenty of time to read. To be honest it was fine.

HoldMyLobster · 13/06/2020 15:08

I did a part time course - one day a week at uni, one day a week on placement, plus homework. I was pregnant for most of the first year, and went back for the second year when my baby was 2 months old. I took her with me for the first month then a childminder took her from 3 months old.

I didn't miss any university days - I was still trekking in at 41.5 weeks pregnant. I did miss some placement days (I think I had about 4 months off), and I handed all my work in on time.

I wrote essays at the weekends while DH looked after both children.

It helped that I didn't experience major pregnancy sickness, although I was struggling to walk due to SPD towards the end. It was my second baby, which I think also made it easier because I had more idea what to expect.

I did actually plan to have her right in the middle of my course, and I did know that if necessary I could take a year off but hoped not to.

Ginfordinner · 16/06/2020 17:28

A mixed bag of responses. It depends entirely on what your baby is like and how much support you have. A clingy baby and no support - no way.

A placid baby and loads of support then, it is possible.

Pygmyseahorse · 17/06/2020 12:39

My dd wasn't newborn but was around 9 months when I returned for 2nd year as I took the year out after first, I had pnd after her and really really struggled but I also have an uncontrolled health condition, not much support nearby from family or friends, was having therapy during class time for pnd and she also had a couple of health concerns
Shes now 3, I have just finished my finals and I'm pregnant again. I had HG with both and my exams have really suffered along with covid, no classes, no childcare, v poor health and on top have high risk from screening tests so it's all been a lot to handle.

I know I would have performed better at uni without having a child or being pregnant, but I made it work too. I sat feeding her and reading books, I got several firsts over the past years and I'm doing law so.. Its very heavy going

If you have the drive, have support, a willing partner or someone who will definitely help you and look after your child when you need to work I'm sure you will manage but if I'm honest, seeing how I missed out on her early couple of years or how it's affected my health or grades I'm not sure I would have returned. I bit off more than I could chew but my situation is probably different to many.

When do you have to make a decision by? I'd be tempted to defer a year and see how you feel
It's also really important to be very happy with childcare before starting and understand that you'll likely miss classes or clash exams with teething or illness as they pick up every bug going in the first year particularly

All the best, I admire and appreciate mature or parents who are students so much more having been through it myself

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