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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

University life for our soon to be Year 2 undergrads (2019 intake): social bubbles (bursting?), the new normal and hopefully no second wave

975 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 04/06/2020 11:39

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OP posts:
Zandathepanda · 11/09/2020 16:40

Dd is up in Newcastle now so at least she’s got there!

Decorhate · 11/09/2020 17:10

Ds has gone back today (though the semester doesn’t start for a few more weeks). His older sister goes back tomorrow. Am looking forward to a hallway free of piles of footwear!

bigTillyMint · 12/09/2020 07:49

My DD and DS suffered the same as @Benjispruce2 s DD. It has left a VERY bad taste. Plus schools reopening v unis saying everything online.... Hmm - it should be debated I feel.

Also cannot see how they will police bf/gf staying over and small student gatherings in general. Obvs loud parties will be noticed!
I think overall it’s probably safer for them to be infecting each other rather than the wider community, but obvs v worrying for vulnerable students/uni staff.

Ginfordinner · 12/09/2020 08:06

We are in the north east at the moment, and the potential lockdown was the main topic on Radio Newcastle yesterday evening. I took DD and one of her friends supermarket shopping yesterday and they are now well stocked up with stuff they can't buy from the little Tesco near their house.

I made sure that DD had loads of loo rolls and san pro, just in cse these things run short during a lockdown.

DD is having a great time in her house share with her friends. A lot of them have brought musical instruments and they are planning on having musical evenings together.

minesawine · 12/09/2020 08:51

I'm starting to wobble again. It was the same last year when I was beside myself about my only son leaving. But I got over it and he was having a great time till Covid. Now with just over a week before he heads back to NTU I am getting that familiar knot in my stomach and tears pricking when I think about him going. This time I am stressing about him staying safe and healthy and actually getting some learning done. And about how much I will miss having him around being noisy and messy.

Alicatz66 · 12/09/2020 10:04

I live in Birmingham.. this lockdown thing is v odd... I'm now going into my office 3 days a week .. the gyms and pubs are open.. shops all open .. the rules are so confusing and change so often no one knows what we can and can't do !

Witchend · 12/09/2020 18:30

@minesawine

I'm stressing too, and trying not to show it.
I know hospitals have been told to prepared for end of September, and dd goes at the beginning of October. Durham is hugely up on us-tbf we're very low. But that's an extra worry.

Dd took time to settle in her first year, and now I think will have to resettle-it won't be like just going back for the next term.

I was fine her going at the start, but the second term coincided with me feeling very depressed due to a situation at work, and I'm beginning to feel it again, and I'm not sure whether it's related. I haven't told her this and have focused on that she'll be okay once she's back, and that she really does need to go back (if possible) because it'll get harder, which she knows.
But with her not really wanting to go, it's not helping me. I think if she was excited about going back (which everyone else on here seems to have dc excited (!) and I was always thrilled to go back when I was at uni) then it would be different.

Ginfordinner · 12/09/2020 19:11

I'm sorry your DD isn't looking forward to going back Witchend. Is it anything you can pinpoint why? Can the reason be dealt with?

DD was desperate to see her university friends as life at home was so boring. She only had a very small friendship group at home, and three of her fhome friends spend most of their time with their boyfriends. Her social life at university is so much better than her home social life.

justasking111 · 12/09/2020 19:34

DS went back to Leeds today.. 2nd year girlfriend waiting which has removed a lot of worry for me. He has around five hours a week of lecture time, she absolutely nothing, six weeks online and they will not look ahead further than that on her course.

Leeds was quite busy not like last year, the Merrion Centre pretty empty, but Morrisons busy. Not everyone was wearing masks even now which surprised me. We were panicking this morning making sure we had them in our bags.

I think we just have to suck it and see. I did ask them to be kind to the first years in their flat whose parents must be worried.

icanbewhatiwant · 12/09/2020 19:43

Ds moved to his new house today in Norwich. His little Corsa was packed full. His gf lives a 10 min walk away, she was cooking for him this eve. They've only seen each other a few times since mid March.
It's strange him not being here already. But it's good for him to be back with friends. He is coming back home Friday as the car is booked in for a service (he's only 45 min drive away) We need to discuss whether he actually needs his car too. 2 more weeks until the next trimester starts. He hasn't had any timetable yet.

Benjispruce2 · 12/09/2020 20:41

@Witchend I’ve been watching Durham Covid cases. Up until this weekend they’ve had hardly any cases for weeks. Today it’s up to 3 so not huge.
www.arcgis.com/apps/webappviewer/index.html?id=47574f7a6e454dc6a42c5f6912ed7076

Witchend · 12/09/2020 21:06

@Ginfordinner
I don't think there's anything specific. She's never done change especially well-always took her a term to get used to anything new, and she likes being at home because it's comfortable. I used to want to get away because I had far more freedom (issue of living in a rural village with poor public transport and parents who wouldn't let us drive the car), but that's not the case for her as she has probably more freedom as she can take the car.
She has friends at uni but not major can't wait to see you friends, her social life here is as good.

She's also scared the work will get too much for her I think.
Mentally she has seemed a little depressed at times, but getting her to talk/see a doctor is worse than getting dd2 to have a blood test, which is like the proverbial blood out of a stone.
I don't want to push her for that, but I do worry because she tends to give the aura of someone who always breezes through without a worry, but isn't like that, so doesn't get support when she needs it.

@Benjispruce2 yes, but the surrounds are growing quite rapidly-I think it's to the north of the city. My parents are up north and they've been low for weeks, but surrounded by high ones (Preston and the like) and have just jumped up 170% this week, so I suspect it will come.
Also I know locally, even though we are currently very low, the hospitals have been told to expect current growth until at least the end of September. So we could be looking at April figures then-and that's when she'll have to make a decision whether to go or not.
I don't want her so far away if lockdown is happening, especially if she looks like she might be depressed, but it would be really bad for her mentally not to go, I suspect then getting back would be much harder, if she did it at all, so I won't really know what to say if it's bad at that point.

I was hoping the growth for the second wave would hold off until end of October and then she'd at least get the beginning of the term without it being too bad.

Benjispruce2 · 12/09/2020 21:11

It’s all such a mess. I was saying to DH this morning how I think this new rise in cases will be harder to take as we know what’s in store and we won’t have the free, simple pleasures of being outside in the summer. We coped because there was light at the end of the tunnel. I’m pleased however that the Oxford vaccine is back on track.

Ginfordinner · 12/09/2020 21:25

That sounds difficult for you both Witchend. I hope your DD can find it in her to seek help if she needs it. I wish both of you, and everyone else on here and their DC the best of luck.

Piggywaspushed · 12/09/2020 21:43

Dropped DS off today (and then exhaust fell off car...)

House is a bit of a shithole. If the rental firm cleaned it after last occupation, I'm your Auntie Nora.

Piggywaspushed · 12/09/2020 21:44

Also, each room has a lock .He was asked if he wanted 3 or 4. Instead of asking which was the bigger room, he took 3 and 4 is huge!! Silly boy.

Witchend · 12/09/2020 23:08

Piggy
Dd has chosen the smallest room I think for her flat. She says it will be warmer and easier to keep tidy.

(hope the car gets fixed!)

MarchingFrogs · 12/09/2020 23:46

the rules are so confusing and change so often no one knows what we can and can't do !

I took DD back to her house in Birmingham this week (just under 5 hours actual driving going - thank you, M25 - and just under 4 coming back - thank you, M1Hmm, normally about 3 hours each way actually behind the wheel. Still, I did get a falafel wrap from that nice place opposite the Bristol Road Aldi for the journey home. Every cloud, as they say).

Looking at my 'feed' from Birmingham Live, whatever it is you officially won't be allowed to do from Tuesday, the rather hysterical message is that you should actually not contain yourselves and wait until then, but stop doing it now. DD is not impressed.

HoldMyLobster · 13/09/2020 01:22

I really hope all goes well for all your returning students. Everything crossed that infection rates stay low, and things start returning to normal soon.

minesawine · 13/09/2020 07:50

Its my DS's 20th birthday on his first weekend back, and he is already planning a get together in his studio for 5 friends, which is considered to be a separate accommodation as he does not share any facilities and has his own kitchen. But I am worried that his small party will turn into a big party as he is so desperate to see his uni friends. Its so frustrating, this year was going to be easier than last year, but in some ways its much harder.

Benjispruce2 · 13/09/2020 08:21

My DD’s birthday this month too. Party for 6 I guess!

Chillywhippet · 13/09/2020 08:57

Long time no post. Good luck to everyone moving DC back.

DD went back last weekend. She is in a house of 5 people and they were so happy to see each other.

During the lockdown DD said she hoped she’d be in her uni house if there was another lockdown in the winter but sim sure she didn’t expect to go straight back to restrictions Shock

They were trying to work out what the Welsh guidelines will mean. Can they have one visitor? What is an extended household? Can they meet another household in a pub on different tables? Only outside?

So having longed to be with her friends, it may be that’s all she is going to do.

Strange times indeed. Although probably easier going into second year than starting as a first year at the moment?

Piggywaspushed · 13/09/2020 09:06

Car got fixed by a nice Kwik Fit man in Lincoln who didn't charge me thankfully!

The chances of DS keeping anywhere today are slim. The big rooms are genuinely nice, too. Silly boy.

VanCleefArpels · 13/09/2020 09:14

DD moved in to her house yesterday - v happy to see her housemates, and I think just to have something “happen” after so many months of stasis

One thing that occurred - at one point there were 9 people in the house what with students, parents and siblings helping to move things in and get things stuck on walls etc (!). Come Monday strictly speaking we would have been breaking the law. Depending on your attitude to risk maybe something to consider when facilitating moving in after Monday!

MrKlaw · 13/09/2020 09:16

Heading to Bath today. Apparantly the M4 eastbound is closed so we should be good to drop him off, but no idea how long it’ll take to get back.

Way more relaxed packing - helps not having a limited drop off window with a private house, so we aren’t too fussed about cramming things in a small number of boxes/bags.

I still think its a mistake not to take any crockery and relying on finding the stored ones left over from last year - but its his mistake to make and nothing a quick trip to argos won’t solve. He has a couple of weeks before lessons start to sort himself out.