Girlfriends/Boyfriends staying over when they are home from Uni

[WaxOnFeckOff]

What are people's thoughts?

DS is 18 living away in halls and now has a girlfriend who is either 18 or I think maybe not quite.

They met at Uni and they are both home for the holidays but she lives maybe about a 30 minute drive away, pretty awkward by public transport though. he drives and she doesn't.

I've taken the view that when they are away, i've no doubt that they will be spending the night together but haven't asked outright as it's not really my business. He knows about proper consent and safe sex.

I don't have a problem with her staying the night here if she wants to but so far DS has driven her home even in the early hours.

He is staying at her parents house after visiting for a meal and he mentioned they've cleared out the spare room for him. Fair enough, it's up to them what they allow in their home and I've told him to respect that.

So, am I being too lenient - even though technically it's not come to that yet?

I guess I really can't face clearing out the spare room at this point...

I'd ask if I needed to clear enough space in the spare room for one of them to get to the bed, it's just to sleep there so the whole room doesnt need to be cleared out, especially if the girl has your son's room and he gets the spare room. They then have a choice over using it or not.

Dd lives at home rather than being away at uni. She’s 18yo.

She had her bf stay in her room when she was in 6th form. He’s not on the scene anymore but she came back from clubbing the other weekend with some boy she’d met in a club. Can’t say I was overly impressed but just told myself if she was away at uni I wouldn’t have a clue who she was bringing back.

Can’t say I was overly impressed but just told myself if she was away at uni I wouldn’t have a clue who she was bringing back.
Well, quite. I might have flung the old If you can't be good, be careful at them, though.

Believe me she's had the safe sex talk drummed into her.

They are adults. No issue on my mind.

My DM insisted on my bf staying in the spare room. I'm a lot more easy-going with both DDs. DD1 is on her 2nd serious relationship. She is 20. She has always asked if I mind if her bf stays in her room and I have told her that I don't mind but I'd rather not hear it. I'm just glad she asks first. The safe sex message has been drummed into her.

She's away at the moment staying at current bf's parents' house. I asked where she sleeps and the answer was his room in his bed. Apparently his mum is "equally laid back". I'm happy with the compliment!

As a mother of DDs it probably is different. My DD (19 at uni) doesn’t have a bf so thankfully this issue hasn’t arisen but I can’t imagine being ok with it unless it was quite a long term relationship.

I’d also like to think that you or a parent in this situation would look out for the young woman in this situation and give her a safe out.

I let mine share a room, in fact I leave/left it up to her, the spare room is opposite and I allow(ed) my daughter to decide, she's an adult, now 22 but when she first brought her partner home when she was 20 I didn't get involved.

I don't think about sex, i dont wish to, and in fact I'm assuming they don't, simply Becayse not many people actually want to in their parents house, but for me it was important to respect her decisions and treat her like the adult she is and be non judgemental.

The whole seperate rooms and assuming sex otherwise I find distinctly odd behaviour of parents.

lilgreen I'm the mother of boys and I feel the same way as you.

I have one of each (boy / girl /martian) ~ I was part of a big family.
My parents got it wrong ~ Friends' parents got it right
I aim to put the least amount of pressure anywhere and make breakfasts relaxed