Accommodation issues

[Queenie24]

Its been a few weeks now since they all started at University, my daughter opted for quiet living accommodation which is part catered so only actually has a kitchen no living area. The problem is a group keep meeting in the room next to her and making noise until early hours. She is also opposite the kitchen which again is being used until early hours. She is getting so tired as is being kept awake. She has asked them to keep the noise now but is being ignored and this has not caused issues within her flat and he being ignored. She is coming home now for.the weekend but I'm worried she will end up dropping out as she cant cope with this long term and I dont know what to suggest.

[Queenie24]

Sorry it should say this has caused issues within her flat

[RoomShareHell]

I can sympathise Queenie24 as my DD is also having issues albeit with a roommate so it is even harder to avoid. It is hard to see them struggle because of a lack of consideration by others at a time of such adjustment.

Is there a surplus of accommodation at your DD’s uni and could your she request a transfer? That may be easiest if the rest of her flat mates appear happy with the current arrangements and it is now affecting relationships with them.

It is unfortunate but a move may be best for your DD in the long run if you feel she’s reached the end of her tether.

So often accommodation is little short of a lottery for first years.

[MarchingFrogs]

She has asked them to keep the noise now but is being ignored

Presumably she is (repeatedly) following the procedure for reporting the issue? Even 'not quiet' accommodation usually has regulations about not creating noise nuisance between e.g. 11pm and 8 am and a process for dealing with it.

And yes, she may be the one complying with the rules and so shouldn't be the one to be inconvenienced further, but has she asked for a transfer to alternative accommodation?

[lookingforahappyplace]

Ear plug, noise cancelling headphones, put on some relaxing music on timer when it's time to sleep. I think you need to help her cope rather than moving her, as unfortunately could be the same issue.

[Queenie24]

She has not asked to move accommodation. I have explained it could be worse where she is moved to. I have suggested she trys ear plugs. She is not keen on that idea as she says its quiet living but will give it ago.

[Bluntness100]

She's going to have to be pragmatic op. The fact she's being ignored would indicate she's alienated her flat mates.

She likely has right on her side (none of us can hear the noise levels) but not wishing to move, and not really wishing to use ear plugs, and insisting they need to be quiet, is just going to give her long term warfare.

I wonder if she's looking for a reason to drop out, or focusing heavily on this as she's not settled, as clearly there are solutions available, she's just not keen to take them and has preferred to take the difficult route.

[Serin]

You say it could be worse where she is moved too. How exactly?
If everyone in her flat is ignoring her then I'd say that must be quite a shitty way to live.
I'd be encouraging mine to move but to try to lower their expectations re noise levels. It is quiet living, not silent living and sometimes for the sake of friendship, it is easier to compromise (ear plugs) than to fall out with everyone.

[Piggywaspushed]

What exactly are the rules re quietness?

Has she reported the noise? I wouldn't put up with people making noise and just get earplugs and passively accept it all : and I am a terrible sleeper. If she has a certain type of accommodation and people aren't complying then she must report it. It would be the same if it was an alcohol free flat and people were drinking.

As an interim measure while things are hopefully sorted she could try earplugs. I sleep better with them in.

[Marmie4]

My DS had a problem with his flat in first year, the flat was a constant party place, things were stolen, noise, meeting after meeting to try and resolve things. He put in for a transfer after a month of misery, he was moved within a week to a flat where he felt more at home, still parties but respectful of each other. Obviously moving is different from uni to uni but was quick and easy for DS and he was so glad he didnt put up with it for the whole year.

[user1487194234]

Hi that sounds like a rough start for her
I do think you have to let do what she thinks is best,she's a grown up now
She may find things settle down after the first few weeks

[ifonly4]

I'd suggest she discusses it with accommodation. They might be able to gently spell the rules out or have a room available somewhere else in quiet accommodation.

[Witchend]

Has she actually ended up in quiet accommodation?

My dd put that as a choice, but didn't get given it as too many people put it. However they do seem to be generally very respectful of each other and fairly quiet, as do the flats next to her, so it hasn't mattered.

[Queenie24]

Yes she is in quiet accommodation. She has spoken to the boys again today. It's not the whole flat being noisy just a few. Hopefully all will calm down. It's not caused issues with everyone and actually the boys making the noise are fine with her they are all out together as we speak. Its 1 boy that seems to be being quite selfish with noise making and it's not just my daughter complaining about him