Girlfriends and Uni

[Sovienonblanc]

DS is due to go to a Uni in 2020. He has had a girlfriend for the last 2.5 years who is lovely and they are both v happy, she 1 academic year below. I’m angry with my DH for trying to persuade DS to end the relationship by Xmas this year so that he may “ enjoy” Uni. How have others handled this???

I think you husband should stop meddling in his son's relationship. They may drift apart, they may stay together, but it's totally their choice and I see no need to end the relationship. It sounds like they are both working hard on exams etc so absolutely no need to interfere.
DS and his long term girlfriend went to different universities and split up during the first term - came to a natural end and their decision. I didn't think a long distance relationship would work for them, but did not offer my opinion as none of my business.

Stay out of it (and his dad) it may well fizzle out, but they could attend different universities, have a break even, get back together and have 3 kids - my good friends met at 16 and are still together at nearly 50!

I agree, leave them to it. If he's gets distracted by having a GF at this stage and this bears any connection with not getting into Oxbridge (which is no easy task), then he's likely to be the same in the future at any uni, so better he ends up somewhere with less pressure. Longterm, they're likely to have distance, finances, uni commitment issues and they're relationship will either stand the pressure of time or fizzle out.

The

Ooops!

Agree it's absolutely none of your business or your DH's. Of course you will have your opinions, but if DS wants to do something different, so be it.

The DD of a friend had a place at Oxford. She got a summer job at a local shop, fell in love with the boss, and announced that she was going to marry him, stay in London and go to uni in London instead.

Friend was in despair, but said he felt that the most important thing was to keep lines of communication open, so that she would always feel she could come back to him for help and advice if it all went wrong.

Sorry haven’t been active for a while but really appreciate everyone’s comments! DH has backed off since receiving DS’s predicted grades, plus Ds winning an academic award really helped to show the relationship was not negatively affecting DS in any way.
They are both volunteering together overseas in the summer which DS has supported so hopefully he will stop being so vocal and just let them be. I totally agree as parents we need to take a step back which is what I’ve done as i genuinely like his GF very much , but for some reason DS being in a relationship has really irritated DH.