How much of summer break should DD not work for?

[Bloomburger]

Ok Dd is at uni doing 3 modern languages but dropping one st the end of this year. Had a job for 3 weeks but didn't like it 🙄 so just gave up so has just survived on a bit of money she'd saved before she went.

We pay phone bill, food (she's in catered accommodation) and rent. We expected her to get a little job to cover anything else.

Now she's coming home 2 weeks after her course ends so will have had 2 weeks of doing nothing before she comes back then she's off to Europe for a week in July and then South America for a couple of weeks in September then her course starts again in October.

She's super lazy at home and it's my fault because I'm a bit of a control freak so would rather do stuff myself than have to redo stuff after she's made minimum effort,

She has also put a deposit down on a house share which is more money exclusive of bills than her accommodations and food cost now. She picked it over a studio flat in a block with a gym cinema etc because she doesn't want to have to walk the 20 minutes each day to where she needs to be 🙄.

We've said she'll need to work through the summer and get a job next term to make up some of the short fall and because sitting on her arse June through September is not an option.

Are we out of touch? Is this mean? She seems to think that it is and says we are causing her unnecessary stress.

We don't want to cause her stress but equally don't want to let her loaf around for months.

Loafing around for months would be fine if she made housing, holiday and travel choices that didn't need you to fund them.

As a pp said, tell her the budget you have to support her. She can then decide how much she needs to work based on that to do the things she wants to do.

An honestly, how much "stress" can a languages student be under?

I do wonder why you didn’t have a conversation about the flat. Who put the deposit down? Where did that money come from? You seem to have control freakery over cleaning but not over what really matters and she just walks over you when she’s away from home. I would start taking a bit more control and if you pay for something, ensure you have input into the decision-making process. I knew exactly what flats my DC looked at and the associated costs because we had established a budget.

Some students find it difficult to get jobs in small uni towns. Larger cities offer more opportunities. You will have third year abroad coming up. I would take a great deal of interest in this! You never know what she might sign up for!

Find the thread about entitled teenagers who leave uni with no work experience and then wonder why they can't get a job. Mine did MFL at Exeter (indeed, not great) but he has worked throughout in vac and on his year abroad. Result, now has a real job.

My dd1 has just finished first year at Art School. She's worked in a bar/music venue 16 hours a week all year, full time over Christmas and has gone full time over the summer. Because she's been so reliable it's been possible to book time off over the summer - to come on family holiday for a week and to go away with her boyfriend for a week. We could have (just) supported her alongside her loan, but felt getting a job was good for her in many ways, and it's really helped her confidence.

if she's finished already it won't be Oxbridge

Oxbridge terms are shorter than most other universities, not longer. But I guess that doesn't fit the stereotypes.

if she's finished already it won't be Oxbridge

Oxbridge terms are shorter than most other universities, not longer. But I guess that doesn't fit the stereotypes.

In theory, not necessarily so much in practice. The short 'full terms' are the 8 weeks when lectures and labs occur; supervisions may be scheduled outside this within the longer 'whole term'. And mock exams. Many other unis seem not to do much teaching in the summer term nowadays, quite a lot have had exams and they're done already. DD had lectures in the first half of term and won't finish exams till next week. Then some partying, to be sure!

Last year DD went straight from Cambridge to a 12 week engineering internship (Not at home or her uni town - no home comforts). This year she's only doing 8 weeks, which I reckon is a better balance, and seems to be about the norm for engineering students. This may well be at the more extreme end of things (tough course, serious summer work) but it maybe gives perspective on kids who claim to need to laze around in the summer.

Is that easy to get jobs if you are at uni/college? I am about to enrol DS onto a lifeguard course which I hope will give him an easy route into part-time work, possibly as early as this summer. The tutor idea is a good one too, I earned some extra cash tutoring German when I was doing A level. But if you don't have those skills and you just need a job, are they actually that easy to come by? I didn't work that much as a student because the jobs just weren't there, although I got the odd paid placement.

Also a bit surprised to hear that Exeter isn't that good for MFL.

DD works 2 jobs with extra in the holidays

Supermarkets always want holiday cover as do the likes of M&S
Seaside towns want chamber maids and the like -

DD isn’t the only one of her friends working 2 jobs - her waitress one she was the only applicant - so if they want to work jobs are there

Unemployment levels were high when I was a student. They're not now, and also while the 'gig economy' and zero hours contracts may be crap for people needing proper jobs, I'd imagine those sorts of things may work for some students.

DD has just come home from uni, end of year2 and we support her with costs during term time and free board, day and are when at home. She has a 5 week paid job at an activity’s centre for the school summer holidays. A dissertation to write. And is looking for other work to fill the 3 months she will have off. She knows what she earns over the summer is what she will have for extras and going out next year.