Oxbridge Jealously

[eginma]

I’m not sure if I just meet a fair amount of bat shit parents, or if it’s a wider problem..

DS is a 2nd year at Oxford, his choice, we didn’t force him into taking the offer.

Anyhow, ever since he got in, we’ve had snide comments such as
“They’re bending over backwards to let state schoolers in”
“What’s the point studying that? Why doesn’t he study Law/STEM?”

The best of all, my son got a call from Oxford on results day asking if he wanted a place for Economics, as he got AAA in his a levels, but he turned it down for Birmingham. My ds assures me from working as an admissions helper this is a load of tosh.

Why is it that other parents feel the need to be arsey about the whole thing? DS works in a public facing role and he’s now ashamed to say which uni he goes to if people ask ! He’ll skirt around the topic unless directly asked.

[BubblesBuddy]

Many grads find they do stay in the box after doing their degree. They don’t get grad employment. They end up with limited opportunities. The UK govt is liable for the loan write off. There has to some debate about this. It’s not unreasonable.

[BigFatGiant]

Inverse snobbery

[TacoLover]

Plus was only kid out of 52 in year 13 to get an unconditional offer.

I'm not trying to discredit your son's achievements at all, he did very well considering his school treated him terribly. Just wanted to say that getting an unconditional offer kind of means jack shit reallyit's not an indicator of academic ability in the vast majority of cases, it's a way for unis to get bums on seats because they want guaranteed money.

[pallisers]

Tacolover, if you aren't trying to discredit her son's achievements, why did you go right ahead and do that?

[goodbyestranger]

The original post is about jealousy not about snobbery nor about the DS of 2BoysandaCairn (again), but I have to say that inverted snobbery is equally distasteful. Plenty of applicants get into Oxbridge against enormous odds and I don't simply mean educational.

2BoysandaCairn it's just absurd to conflate grammar school students and Etonians, both in terms of general background (on the whole) and educational experience in terms of resources etc. They're light years apart.

I haven't encountered anything but pleasantness re my own DC and Oxford in real life but MN posters can be vile, both those who have or had Oxbridge lined up as a possible destination for their own DC and those whose DC aren't in the frame. Thankfully they're the minority but their sourness is thinly disguised, if at all.

We need medics and lawyers and PPEists too.

[Fazackerley]

Just wanted to say that getting an unconditional offer kind of means jack shit really

Aaaand here we go.

Bubbles I know some very successful people from Oxbridge but I also know quite a few fuck ups. Not everyone that went there has an amazing high powered job.

Fwiw Swansea Sports Science graduates have a 100% graduate employment rate

Only on mumsnet are people this obsessed with Oxbridge and Durham. The Oxbridge reject thread was genuinely alarming because of the desperation from some of the rejected teens and their parents.

[goodbyestranger]

What's it got to do with graduate employment either Fazackerley?

[goodbyestranger]

Or Durham? The OP said Oxbridge, not Doxbridge.

[Fazackerley]

What's what got do with it?

I was replying to bubbles point about people who do degrees at non rg unis (I presume that's what she meant) not paying back their loans as they don't get jobs.

Same old people on this thread its like crack to some posters

[2BoysandaCairn]

Last post.
My kids will never go to Oxbridge etc.
But in real life and I mean living in a semi rural coastal area, next to a city with the highest rate of umemployed under 25's with no qualifications, as in 79%
Our regions employment went up by 15000 and stands at 5.6%.

I never hear people say oh dont go to Oxford or Cambridge. But I heard 100 of comments like I described and worse.

But the people who matter, his brilliant pe teacher, maths and biology teacher. His rugby coaches, his cadet leaders and staff and every one we know have encouraged him.
The only ones who haven't arent friends or worth listening too.

Surely the last sentence is most important.

The only child who my son cried for was the girl in his history class, who was from a similar background was turned down by Oxford. All his year group hoped with 1 A* and 3 A's she might be the schools 1st true Oxford entrant.
Thats true support. She was the 1st to hug my son on results day and tell him to love his uni days, she is off to Newcastle. They all met at Christmas.

[goodbyestranger]

Fazackerley posters might as well contribute to threads concerning subjects they know something about rather than subjects they know fuck all about. As far as I'm concerned - and being some kind of dubious record holder on the Oxbridge mother front - it really is that simple.

[BubblesBuddy]

I am not currently researching which degree holders don’t pay back loans and are not likely to. Others have done that. I didn’t say they didn’t get jobs. I said grad jobs. For all I know they are the fuck ups from Oxbridge you know Faz!

You cannot really change your friends and their views. You have to put up with it. If it’s difficult to listen to their views, slowly distance yourself or agree to disagree.

Unfortunately A level results are not the only requirement for getting into Oxbridge. There are tests, written work submissions, interviews, and the personal statement showing aptitude for the subject. Some schools just don’t understand the breadth of what is required so are unable to advise appropriately. Teachers are not at all well versed in what is needed and therefore some DC miss out. Perhaps this leads to jealousy? There seems to be such hatred of people with money or things that others don’t have, such as a place at Oxbridge, we are increasingly unable to celebrate success.

[oneteen]

unconditional offer kind of means jack shit really

Certainly not true by niece graduated from Bham last year with a first after receiving and accepting an unconditional offer. She had a scholarship for her Masters (which she is shortly to finish) and had been working part-time in her chosen field (helped by Bham Uni who were brilliant) she has just been offered a full-time position with the company - so straight into employment. She was both a straight A* student in GCSE's and A levels - attended a state school (albeit a grammar school which was 10 mins walk down the road from where she lives). She's had a ball at Uni (partied very hard in the first year) and made some amazing friends.

[TacoLover]

Tacolover, if you aren't trying to discredit her son's achievements, why did you go right ahead and do that?

The PP used examples of her son's achievements to justify why comments about people going to non RG unis are so much worse than comments the other way around. I find the messages in her posts to basically be encouraging or excusing inverted snobbery because she thinks she has it so much worseBecause of that I don't really feel bad pointing out that most unconditionals given out from non RG universities are to get bums on seats🤷🏾‍♀️see below:

iea.org.uk/the-meteoric-rise-of-the-unconditional-offer-spells-trouble-for-students/

[TacoLover]

Oneteen your post has nothing to do with what I said. I said that many unconditional offers are given out by universities who want to secure places,and aren't an indicator that a student is well above average or better than other applicants. I didn't say that people who receive unconditional offers won't do well in life.

[oneteen]

aren't an indicator that a student is well above average or better than other applicants

So straight A's and GCSE/A level's are not well above average @tacolover*. My niece could have applied to Oxbridge - she was encouraged to do so - but she accepted one of those unconditional offers that are worth "jack shit" apparently!

[goodbyestranger]

oneteen unconditionals don't correlate to an applicant's academic prowess but to supply and demand. The fact that your niece has good grades and made friends at uni has no relevance really; it vertainly doesn't disprove TacoLover's point.

My niece could have applied to Oxbridge As far as that statement goes can I just say that Donald Duck could have applied too. The point is rather whether he'd have got an offer.

[goodbyestranger]

Certainly not vertainly!

[Fazackerley]

oneteen don't bother, it's not worth it.

[TacoLover]

oneteen unconditionals don't correlate to an applicant's academic prowess but to supply and demand. The fact that your niece has good grades and made friends at uni has no relevance really; it vertainly doesn't disprove TacoLover's point.

Exactly my point.

So straight A's and GCSE/A level's are not well above average @tacolover.*

That's not what I said. Can you read

I said that getting an unconditional does not make you above average or above any other student just because you have an unconditional. My point about it meaning jack shit is to say that an unconditional offer means nothing when trying to compare students, because most unconditional offers are made to fill spaces and not because of academic ability or that student being 'special'.

[ProfessorLayton1]

You must have some weird friends.
Agree with what goodbyestranger said in pp- you can't change their views and attitude... slowly distance yourself from them or don't talk about kids etc.,

Not everyone are like your friends in real life.. the only boy who has Cambridge offer from Dds school most certainly deserves to go to Cambridge this September.. he applied to a different subject to Dd but if they both have applied for the same subject, I would still think he deserves to be there more than my Dd. When they all had their decision in Jan- even before I knew that he got in - I did say that I will loose faith in Cambridge admissions if he does not get it! Cambridge quite rightly rejected Dd and I think that the best decision for her..

[ZandathePanda]

Fazackerley

[goodbyestranger]

Not again Zanda.

[oneteen]

@ goodbyestranger. Why do you cut and paste clips and exclude the relevant part of the post? she was encouraged to do so I didn't say that unconditional offers related to academic prowess either - those are your words - I just stated that my nieces unconditional was worth more than jack shit!

She attended one of the top 30 schools - not sure how it compares with your DD4 and I assume where you are a governor from your posts.(but its a highly sought after grammar school ).

My niece chose to attend a fairly local UNI because her mum was in recovery from breast cancer - so her A level results were amazing considering she passed all her exams whilst her mum was having chemo...and it has obviously been the right choice.

Taco - your words and aren't an indicator that a student is well above average or better than other applicants. Some may not be an indicator but some may!

My other niece also A*'s GCSE/A levels including A^ in maths chose to go to Leeds to MFL - again she was encouraged to consider Oxbridge (and YES that doesn't mean to say she would have been offered a place either).

I think it's great that we have world-class Uni's that DC have the opportunity to attend no matter where they are educated - I have a DD who attends an Indie - but I am a massive supporter of wider participation given that my DD attended a bog standard CRAP state school until mid yr 8 and I know how much a poorly performing school can have such a negative effect on a bright child.

[goodbyestranger]

I don't see that second part as especially relevant oneteen. I'm struggling a bit to see why your niece's entire history incl is in any way relevant to this thread actually. You're welcome to make any assumptions you like but I'm not convinced they're relevant either, whether correct or not (Not, as it happens :)).