DC struggling massively & wants to leave now in final year of Uni.

[salsamad]

DC is in the final few months of a three year degree and is suffering with mental health issues.
DC contacted student support after Xmas but was told they'd be leaving by the time an appointment came free.
Already on antidepressants and has just started seeing a counsellor through GP referral (after 12mth wait!) but is finding appointments hard going.
DC has hated the course for past year and wants to leave before failing - results from assignments have been mainly 2/1s in first 2 years but this last year has been 2/2s. DC is convinced they will fail (lastest result was fail but has been allowed to resubmit). There are no exams - just ongoing assignments. After talking at length it seems psychologically that DC is setting themselves up to fail (not intentionally) as they are so low.
Uni is not too far away so we have very regular contact and DC is in a house share with a partner whose also at same Uni (and not enjoying it either).
Me and DH are very supportive both emotionally and financially.
I feel truly stuck. I do not want to see DC make a decision and regret it in the long run if they leave (has regretted past choices afterwards) but i am very scared that encouraging them to stay may push them too far.
Is it better to leave Uni with only a few months left or to stay, try and fail or possibly pass? How will that look to future employers on a CV or at an interview?
I am so worried, any advice and support would be greatly appreciated.

Can they not just take a year out and repeat this year later? Hopefully a year to stabilise MH then return? What do they hate particularly about the course?

Can you defer this year due to ill health get them into a better state to take the final year? Presumably too far to commute in the future?

If they leave there is no way I can see them going back in the near future sadly. DC says they've lost their passion for the course and they definitely wouldn't look for a job in this area.

This was me when i was in uni. I don't drink, hate parties and never fitted in.

In the end I stopped, and moved back home and completed my final year in a different university.

My Dad was devastated when I quit, however I was the most depressed I had ever been and didn't even realise it. After few months off - where I got a job, and then living at home for my final year I got my degree.

Sorry your DC is struggling. How many pieces of work do they have left to complete/submit? Can they complete this from home? They must have nearly completed the course and marks from last year will probably count towards the degree. Can you go and see student services with them to discuss their options?

Whatever it is your dc are studying, they will have learnt a massive amount over the last 2 and a half years anyway, and a degree isn't always vital when getting a job . All knowledge is useful. There's no point them carrying on if it causes a breakdown. Let them leave, hopefully go back and finish at some time in the future when they're feeling stronger, and in the meantime find a job that they actually enjoy!?

Is your DC willing to speak to the appropriate people (eg., student support, tutor, disability resource centre if relevant, mental health team if relevant)?

There are at most universities various options for students in this situation, aside from deferring. One can sometimes be 'deemed to have deserved honours,' for example. This means you have a formal statement for your transcript, indicating you were not in a fit state to take exams but your work in general was considered of at least the lowest level of honours (ie., third class or up). You can also be 'deemed to have deserved a pass'.

I don't think employers always know what this means, and obviously it is an extreme last resort, but it's much better than dropping out and simply failing.

They can always leave now and apply to a different uni to complete their third year.

There is not long left though...just a few months. I would get him to find a way to complete it, with lots of support from his uni and tutors. He might not want to use it, but having it on his CV will help. Chucking away all that money for nothing as well...he may as well get "something" out of it.

My colleague’s son found his final year very difficult and although he completed it he knew he would be lucky to get a third. He decided to apply for jobs before results, being honest about struggling with his final year. He got an offer and hasn’t looked back. They liked him and said his result wasn’t that important. He’d had great results up till then.

They can always leave now and apply to a different uni to complete their third year.

Yes, but they can't 'always' guarantee being accepted. Plenty of universities won't take on a third year transfer student.

Before he makes any decision at all he needs to understand his options. That means looking at what credits he has so far, what he needs and at what grade to graduate. Whether he can graduate without honours, or leave with a DipHE. That means trawling through the degree regulations - you could do this, and/or asking for advice from the students union.

Do NOT make any decisions until then.

DC is not far from us thankfully - first year at Uni was living at home and commuting.
I'm currently trying to be gently encouraging. I know there will be no going back if DC leaves and im of the same frame of mind as DangerMouse - it's only a couple more months.
Your post Scabetty has given me some hope if DC manages to stay.
Thanks everyone for your support and advice, it's been really helpful.

titchy has given good advice. I'd also suggest that your child is clear about what marks he or she has and what he or she needs to get. If their earlier marks were ok then depending how the marks are weighted then might a 2:1 still be possible.

If he or she is still able to get a 2:2 then make sure they know that although some doors will have closed there are still plenty open, including NHS graduate jobs for exemple (there are plenty of others) . A third is a harder sell but is still has some value.

Most work is likely to be finished the term , with perhaps a few modules to hand in after Easter. So 6-8 weeks more. At this stage it is probably worth persevering even to get a 2:2. Often final year marks carry more weight than previous modules but it might only take one better mark to tip the balance.

Does he have an allocated personal tutor who could support him through this and perhaps negotiate extensions. Also contact the uni Disability Support department and SU wellbeing officer as there may be special mentoring programmes and opportunities for those approaching deadlines.

Career Options for students with 2:2s

What plans does / did your dc have post uni? Do they have a career in mind? That may influence the value of a degree. No doubt they are not able to pursue it now, but what is the longer game?